Vitreous hemorrhage Puns

Makes no sense. Was always told the vitreous has no way to clean itself. Anybody know how?

Can a massive vitreous hemorrhage cause flashing? How long does it take for a large vitreous hemorrhage to clear? If a vitreous hemorrhage has been in there for a couple weeks is it normal to see flashing as it "breaks up"?

My first vitreous hemorrhage was a year ago. Several over the next four months.

I saw an optometrist twice, then a retina specialist, and an ophthalmologist, each three times. I've also posted here several times.

And I've accepted and followed the advice I've been give by each doctor, and here, and appreciate every reply.

My last appointment was with a retina specialist six months ago, who said I didn't need to return unless I saw the tell-tale "curtain." He said I may even see what looks like new hemorrhages, but without the "curtain" it would likely be the collected blood from previous bleeds just moving around.

It's been six months, and the blood has slowly disappeared (been absorbed) to the point I can see fine, but there was still a small(er) pool of blood in the top of my visual field.

Yesterday, six months since the last hemorrhage and visit with the retina specialist, I had what I think was another hemorrhage. The blood is mostly gone from my visual field, but I'm really worried. I thought this nightmare was over, even though the remaining pooled blood was still present, although reduced every month.

My ophthalmologist as of a month ago wasn't seeing patients unless it was an emergency. I've got a call into his office, but haven't yet received a reply.

Edit: I am not diabetic.

Bottom line: Is my experience that atypical? Can I assume/hope it's just the remnant blood that hasn't been absorbed yet, or is this a new hemorrhage, and I need a vitrectomy, or something more serious?

To say I'm freaking out again is an understatement. I don't even know if I'll get a call back by tomorrow.

Edit: I am not diabetic.

Hey all, I have an appointment with my retina specialist on Monday, but I’m very anxious. I had a major hemmorhage after moving something pretty heavy three weeks ago. I have proliferative retinopathy in this one eye, and my doctor seems to think it’s clearing fine as of two weeks ago. Since the initial complete vision blockage in half my central vision , the blood started breaking up, and now my vision is like looking through a layer of Vaseline I’m my entire central field of vision.

Anyway, just kind of bracing for the news I may receive on Monday.

Thanks for the input. This has been a nerve racking experience and I’m ready to get it behind me.

I've had eight vitreous hemorrhages since June 25, with the cause being HPB and PVD.

The first seven didn't clear entirely before the next happened.

The last was Sept 9, and by far the worst. I've seen specialists who have told me my retina is good, and the blood will clear eventually.

I'm now six months past the last hemorrhage, and a good deal of the blood has cleared, but it's been painfully slow.

I still have a puddle of blood in the top center of my visual field, and the rest of my vision is pretty good, but it's like looking through light smoke. Driving is fine, and I'd characterize the remaining blood as an annoyance, but it does not prevent me from doing most tasks.

Question: Does the blood always clear eventually? My guess is the "smoke" is the blood disintegrating. Will this eventually go away?

Update 1/13/20: Hi! I figured I’d give an update on this post. It wasn’t very popular and I’m not so full of myself to think anyone was waiting to hear how my laser treatments went, but reading other’s experiences has really helped get me through this, so I hope at some point this might help someone else going through the same thing.

Tl;dr (cause this is really freaking long) Laser was not bad at all, but I now have to have eye surgery. Take care of yourselves, kids!

So going back a few months ago to my first laser appointment, I worked myself up so badly that as soon as I set foot in the doctor’s office I had to run to the bathroom to vomit. I’m not usually too afraid of pain and have been through a lot worse (I had a c-section 14 months ago and literally had a foot long gash through my stomach and abdominal muscles and had my internal organs treated like a game of Tetris) , but anything to do with my eyes terrifies me and makes me so squeamish. They started the appointment with an eye exam (just the standard read the lowest line you can), then put some numbing and dilating drops in my eyes,and then took my pressures. I was so jumpy that it took ten minutes and two assistants plus my husband to get a reading. They then did some scans and took me back to the laser room. The assistant (nurse? Not sure what the proper title is) unloaded about half a bottle of numbing drops in my eyes and he warned me that if I wasn’t able to tolerate the lens on my eye then they would have to use a local block, which involves a needle to the eye socket, so when it came time for the laser I took deep breaths and concentrated on sitting as still as possible and tore a tissue in my pocket to shreds. Turns out I couldn’t even feel the lens touch my eye. As others have told me, the light of the laser is INTENSE. Like, the brightest most brain-searing light you could possibly imagine, and that is the worst part of the whole thing. I had to fight the reflex to pull away or blink the entire time. My head was strapped to the machine, and the assistant also had a hand on the back of my head to keep me still, which is really important so the doctor didn’t accidentally laser the wrong thing and blind me. There was absolutely zero pain from the laser. My eye was slightly sore for about an hour after from the pressure of the lens, and the bright light and the goo that they put on the lens meant I couldn’t see out of my eye for a few minutes afterwards, but it was definitely not as tr

Hi all. My wife (27 F) started seeing floaters suddenly couple of days ago. No trauma or injury. She was focusing hard on finishing her tasks for the day on her laptop when this happened. We went to emergency and then ophthalmologist who found out it is vitreous hemorrhage and then referred to a retina specialist to check up the impact on retina the next day. The retina specialist mentioned the bleeding has stopped and she should be fine in 3-4 months and there is no other retinal problems like detachment. Since we do not know the cause of this the retina specialist wanted us to come in ( 2 days, 1 week, 1 month, 6 months) to make sure there is no damage happening to retina. She doesn't see flashes or experience pain. Note : She is near sighted and have been wearing glasses since 12-13. I have few questions regarding her condition.

1. What is the risk of getting this vitreous hemorrhage again?

2. What is her risk of developing retinal tear or retinal detachment?

3. How to make sure she doesn't get this again?

4. What kind of food/life style change should be made this doesn't happen again?

5. The doctor mentioned the floaters will go away in 3-5 months. What can we do the expedite this in a safe way? Like sleeping more, not watch TV etc.

Any information on this would be great.

I've had several in the past three months. Eye doctor says each time there is no retina involvement.

The most recent bleed was eight days ago. It initially started to clear like the other times, but this time the dense blood floaters are diffusing and most of my field of vision is hazy/grainy, and it hasn't improved in the past few days.

Previously I'd have windows were I can see partially through the blood.

It's like looking through a thin layer of Vaseline (heard this description and it's about right).

Also, I've read vitamin C may help. Is it worth trying?

So from my understanding a pre retinal hemorrhage can be found either between the vitreous and Inner Limiting Membrane, or Inner Limiting Membrane and Nerve Fiber Layer, but what makes that different from a vitreal hemorrhage? Is it just more anterior and found only in the vitreous? How do they differ in appearance?

There are some commonly held myths about Boulder County Coroner Dr. John Meyer's work in the Ramsey case that need to be dispelled. In this post I intend to demonstrate why they are baseless and false.

#Myth #1: Dr. Meyer spent an insufficient amount of time, only ten minutes or less, at the crime scene.

There's no rule governing the amount of time a coroner needs to spend at a scene of a death. In the ten minutes Meyer was at the Ramsey home, he examined the body, viewed the crime scene, and fulfilled the obligations he went there for. Per Colorado law, Meyer's presence was required to formally pronounce the death and authorize the transport of the decedent away from the scene of death. To quote Dr. Meyer, his ten-minute visit was "not indicative of the extent of our investigation.''

It should be noted that JonBenet's body was already in the custody of the Coroner's Office since not long after being found on the afternoon of December 26. Coroner's investigator Patricia Dunn was on site examining the body by 1:23PM. She would remain at the scene with the body until it was transported to the morgue around 10:45PM. In other words, while Dr. Meyer spent only ten minutes with the body at the crime scene, his designee had spent a much longer time doing so on behalf of his office.

#Myth #2: Dr. Meyer failed to take the liver temperature at the crime scene, an oversight that hindered the determining of a time frame of JonBenet's death.

First, I'd like to address the source of this myth. Most people get this information from this passage in the book JonBenet: Inside the Ramsey Murder Investigation by Donald A. Davis and Steve Thomas:

>The search warrant for the Ramsey residence was authorized at eight o'clock that night, and twenty-three minutes later, Dr. John Meyer, the coroner, put on protective booties and latex gloves and entered to perform the job of officially pronouncing the child dead. [...]

>Meyer stayed only seven minutes, not taking the time to perform two routine procedures that would have helped establish the time of death -- taking vitreous fluid from the eye and obtaining the internal body temperature. Determining the time frame in which death occurred is extraordinarily important in a murder investigation and would present a problem for months to come.

Since Steve Thomas was a lead investigator on the Ramsey case, most people as

For those people who are experiencing flashing lights along with their eye floaters, how long before the eye flashes showed up after you noticed your floaters? Or did they both started at the same time?

I recently got a dark floater on my right eye so I went to an opthalmologist and was told that I have no retinal detachment or vitreous hemorrhage. I also learned that as the vitreous gel clumps up, it tugs on the retina so even if you have no retinal detachment the first time, there might be now the next time you have an eye exam.

Currently, I'm exercising, managing my diet and eating pineapples each day as told by another opthalmologist. It's been almost a month and the dark spot started fading, but I also notice a bunch of minor floaters. I can't see them that much unless I focus or I'm in front of a computer so it's not much of a bother for now.

Still, I want to keep observing my vision and take action once I start seeing eye flashes.

Are eye flashes really that bad? How much does it affect you in your daily chores? I kinda want to know so I can prepare myaelf in advance if ever.

I was looking at the VDM Project website, and the top person on the advisory board was Dr. J Sebag, who is about an hour away from where I live!

I have only had the horrible floaters about two months (probably a vaccine side-effect) and have already been to two (worthless) ophthalmologists so I don't need a check-up. Just want an expert to help diagnose and possibly surgically remove the floaters.

I am torn as to whether to book an appointment now (in case he is retiring soon) or wait to see if the floaters lessen on their own first.

So, my burning question here really, is if there’s an issue with the outflow of CSF to my bloodstream, indicated by any results below. I understand arachnoid granulations are involved in reabsorption of CSF. I’ve been diagnosed with IIH, I’m on 4000 mg/day Diamox & 20mg/day Lasix. No improvement to my visual symptoms caused by papilledema. I’m soon to have an appointment with a neurosurgeon. I’ve also just begun treatment for pansinusitis, and am to have an appointment with an ENT.

Impression

No significant intracranial abnormality

Prominent arachnoid granulations at junction transverse and sigmoid sinus, bilaterally causing mild narrowing. MRV otherwise unremarkable.

Severe, pansinusitis. Possible nasal polyps

Prominent CSF space around optic nerves with bulging of optic disc into the vitreous, right greater than left. Finding nonspecific but suggestive of papilledema

Narrative MRI BRAIN WITHOUT CONTRAST, MRV HEAD

** HISTORY **: 22 years old, headache.

** TECHNIQUE **: MR images of the brain and MR venogram images of the head acquired without intravenous contrast. Maximal intensity projection (MIP) reconstructions performed.

COMPARISON: None available.

** FINDINGS **: MRI BRAIN BRAIN PARENCHYMA: No acute infarct or hemorrhage. No mass effect or herniation. Signal intensities are within normal limits for age.

VENTRICLES/EXTRA-AXIAL SPACES: No hydrocephalus or extra-axial fluid collections.

Prominent CSF space along optic nerves with bulging of optic disc into the vitreous right more so than left

FLOW VOIDS: Intact.

EXTRACRANIAL STRUCTURES: Mucosal thickening ostiomeatal and sphenoethmoidal units. Near complete opacification of frontal and sphenoid sinuses. Suspect some degree of outflow obstruction along frontonasal duct and sphenoethmoidal recess.. Apparent small nasal polyps series 6 image 12.

MRV HEAD: No dural venous sinus thrombosis. Patent deep cerebral venous system. Right dominant jugular system. Prominent arachnoid granulations at junction transverse and sigmoid sinus, bilaterally causing mild narrowing.

I have had this floater for nearly one year now.

I remember that, when it first appeared, it was relatively small and was mainly just a dark dot.

But recently it's got bigger and had several 'strings' attached to it.

So what can this floater be made of?

I mean is it just a piece of collagen created from within the Vitreous, or a blood cell detached from the retina, or something else?

In 2018 I had a quick laser procedure in each eye to break up a hemorrhage in the vitreous ( of my right eye originally).

As I understood, it would break apart and absorb back into my body. When it didn't do that, I called the doctor with concerns. They explained that the eye is like a snow globe and things may still need to "settle" so try to sleep sitting up.

Well here it is, three years post-op and there has been no improvement, in fact it's only getting worse!

I try, best as I can, to sleep sitting up, but as you all know it's already hard enough to get a good night's sleep as it stands.

The hemorrhage is now in both eyes and really affecting my vision and my mental health. I feel like I'm on the verge of tears because I am afraid of losing my vision totally.

I am going back to the eye doctor and the vitreous specialist at the end of the month, but I am really struggling.

I work in retail and there are so many things that I find overwhelming because of my vision. The overhead lighting in the store makes things worse, screens appear totally black to me at times and I can not see peoples faces until they are right in front of me. Customers find me rude because I stare at them or I ignore them completely.

Reading little numbers or trying to scan or read codes from someone else's phone is impossible. It has gotten so bad that I lost sleep last night trying to decide if I should call out today or just try to power through.

Well I decided to power through and I am absolutely regretting it. I am on mobile now, writing this rant, screaming into the void, fighting tears because no one at work believes me.

The hemorrhage is IN my eyeball dudes, you can't see it and yes, in fact I can still manage to do my hair and my makeup everyday. I suppose to them that equates perfect health and vision and no problems and let's make her work twice as much as she said she's available.

I am just feeling totally dejected and terrified of what my future holds. I have been T1D for 20 years now and only after a really bad DKA in 2009 did I properly start caring for myself. I suppose all those years of neglecting my health are catching up with me and I am going to have to pay the piper.

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

The nurse asked the rabbit, “what is your blood type?”

“I am probably a type O” said the rabbit.

On July 26, I had a vitrectomy to remove blood (dark lines and floaters) and scar tissue from my left eye, after suffering a vitreous hemorrhage. The surgeon confirmed that there was no damage to the retina.

As my eye heals, my vision is slowly improving. The lines/floaters are gone. My main issue now is with a bubble that was inserted during surgery. The bubble is dark and round, and covers the lower half of my vision. It seems to be getting smaller, but very slowly.

How long do these bubbles generally last? Are they normally dark? The dark coloration is concerning to me, because it is reminiscent of the dark lines and floaters I recently had removed.

Thanks in advance for your help

I have been stuggling with eye floaters for about a year now especially in my left eye. Maybe about 6 months in I noticed some different floaters, they are circular and have an outer ring and inner ring. They seem to be grouped together and move differently then my others. The fall in the middle of slowly, and when I move my eye they follow it a drift slowly in the way I turned it when I stop moving my eye. They seem to bother me way more then my others and are more visible at certain times when my others aren't.

Does anyone have any explanation to these or what they are? Again they are worse in my left eye.

My apologies up front if this breaks the rules. I'm a pediatrician working in an emergency department, and I see minor eye injuries every week or two (corneal abrasions, mild chemical injuries, subconjunctival hemorrhage). We do not have an ophthalmologist at my hospital, and have to refer out more serious eye injuries. As such, I've gotten good at treating minor eye complaints, but I'm undertrained and underexposed when diagnosing severe ophthalmologic trauma.

My questions are, how likely it is that a child could have significant eye trauma without *at least* having the symptoms of severe corneal abrasion or visual abnormalities? What's going to sneak up on me?

Mentos

(I will see myself out)

The doctor says it terminal.

Alot of great jokes get posted here! However just because you have a joke, doesn't mean it's a dad joke.

THIS IS NOT ABOUT NSFW, THIS IS ABOUT LONG JOKES, BLONDE JOKES, SEXUAL JOKES, KNOCK KNOCK JOKES, POLITICAL JOKES, ETC BEING POSTED IN A DAD JOKE SUB

Try telling these sexual jokes that get posted here, to your kid and see how your spouse likes it.. if that goes well, Try telling one of your friends kid about your sex life being like Coca cola, first it was normal, than light and now zero , and see if the parents are OK with you telling their kid the "dad joke"

I'm not even referencing the NSFW, I'm saying Dad jokes are corny, and sometimes painful, not sexual

So check out r/jokes for all types of jokes

r/unclejokes for dirty jokes

r/3amjokes for real weird and alot of OC

r/cleandadjokes If your really sick of seeing not dad jokes in r/dadjokes

Punchline !

Edit: this is not a post about NSFW , This is about jokes, knock knock jokes, blonde jokes, political jokes etc being posted in a dad joke sub

Edit 2: don't touch the thermostat

How the hell am I suppose to know when it’s raining in Sweden?

Mathematical puns makes me number

We told her she can lean on us for support. Although, we are going to have to change her driver's license, her height is going down by a foot. I don't want to go too far out on a limb here but it better not be a hack job.

Ants don’t even have the concept fathers, let alone a good dad joke. Keep r/ants out of my r/dadjokes.

But no, seriously. I understand rule 7 is great to have intelligent discussion, but sometimes it feels like 1 in 10 posts here is someone getting upset about the jokes on this sub. Let the mods deal with it, they regulate the sub.

They were cooked in Greece.

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

He lost May

Now that I listen to albums, I hardly ever leave the house.

Said if she ever hosts a gender reveal party, when it comes time to pop the balloon she'll spray everyone with water.

Gender is fluid.

Don't you know a good pun is its own reword?

Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says "is it just me, or is it hot in here?"

Then the other muffin says "AHH, TALKING MUFFIN!!!"

Do your worst!