I lost my virginity

Dad: Oh my god... are you serious?? Me: No dad, i’m Kevin

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tavi-S
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2020
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What did Han solo said when he lost his virginity??

I just got leia-d

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πŸ‘€︎ u/harikrishnan_s
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2019
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Wanna hear a joke about my uncle and my virginity?

[removed]

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DJ_Stapler
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2019
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I lost two things today. My virginity...

...and my job at the morgue.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2019
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I've lost my virginity - can I have yours?

Lmao Just kidding, I'm a redditor so I've never talked to a warmen..

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πŸ‘€︎ u/volkn_
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2019
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My friend with one testicle lost his virginity in a threesome.

That was 2 birds with 1 stone.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/the_roosh
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2018
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How does olive oil lose its virginity?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/eXieBoiiTV
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2018
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I just lost my virginity today in woodworking class.

Probably the only time i will get nailed (through the leather soul and foot).

P.S: i am alright, no infection.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/blackcat74
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2017
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Where does extra virgin olive oil comes from ?

Really ugly olives.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2020
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Apple Pie is a ridiculous $5 a slice in the U.S., but only $1 in Jamaica, the Bahamas, & the Virgin Islands

Those are the pie rates of the Caribbean

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πŸ‘€︎ u/professorf
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2020
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Instant virgin (γ₯οΏ£ Β³οΏ£)γ₯
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πŸ‘€︎ u/whyizitwet
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2020
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Attila the Hun had a pet snake who refused to eat.

He tried everything: rodents, small animals, and even cuts from larger animals, but it wouldn't eat.

As a last resort, he offered a virgin, but still the snake wouldn't eat. So, he called up the village's wise man.

Without hesitation, the wise man put two pieces of bread on the woman, and the snake ate her whole.

When Attila asked why, the wise man responded,

"Thine anaconda don't want nun unless you've got buns, hun!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/a_wild_redditer
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2020
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Did you know that there are no canaries in the Canary Islands? The same thing applies with the Virgin Islands...

There are no canaries there either...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bringojackprot
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2020
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Wellllllllllllllllllllll.....
πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2020
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Virgin Gang

They say you are what you eat. Well I don't remember eating a damn Pussy.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/vikramgirdhari
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2020
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How do we know Richard Pryor wasn’t a virgin birth?

His mom had Dick Pryor.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Brainsonastick
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2020
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Winners never lose.

That's why I haven't lost my virginity.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Konato-san
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2020
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Must be destiny(β€˜s child)
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πŸ‘€︎ u/natnat301
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2020
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What do you call an English virgin?

Humphrey.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zigbigidorlu
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2020
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Just had a painter and decorator round, hes a furloughed Virgin Atlantic pilot.

He made a lovely job of the landing....

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Retrotone
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2020
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My transformation is almost complete

So my wife is currently working from home and her employer decided to send her a hamper package in the mail. It was quite nice but pretty standard stuff. Wine, some cookies, crackers and also a bottle extra virgin olive oil (came with a cheese platter kit)

Wife was pretty happy about the fancy packaging and showed it to me saying "look they even sent extra virgin olive oil in this little fancy bottle for cheese platters!"

My response? "Aww that poor olive oil bottle never had sex? So sad!"

...Pls send help

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hyperpuma
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2020
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Long, stupid Dad joke

The ancient Greeks greatly feared volcanic explosions from Mt. Olympus, so they developed a tradition of sacrificing young maidens to the Gods on the mountain. Every year they selected five girls, and sacrificed four. Then they assigned the other one to stomp the olive harvest. That’s where we get Extra Virgin Olive Oil.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Addama33
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2020
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What do you call 2 virgins?

Diversion

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KAhOot1234567
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2020
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How do you know Jesus wasn't born in America?

They needed 3 wise men and a virgin

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FuckinWimp87
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2020
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There once was a girl named Virginia

They called her Virgin for short... But not for long!!!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/andersonfmly
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2020
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How do old French men know so much about cheese?

They learn fromage

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Flanagoon
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2020
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How does virgin olive oil become extra virgin olive oil?

After getting dating advice from a Redditor.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13 2019
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Why was the virgin left hanging?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/OvidM2
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2018
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The wise men come to the Virgin Mary and baby Jesus in the night, rapping on the door of their Bethlehem cottage suddenly. Mary yelps, answers the door, and says, relieved:

"You scared the bajeezus out of me!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/gaiusnutcassius
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2019
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What is the main difference between a golfer and a virgin?

The virgin stops existing after his first hole in one,

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JohnEBGoode20
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2019
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What do you call a sleepwalking nun?

virgin mobile.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Goopeh_Tomatoes
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2020
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"I make so many jokes I must be a father somewhere."

Said the virgin.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zuwiboiii
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2020
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I made a wish with a genie to not die as a virgin....

He made me immortal

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jamstagram
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2018
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Marry him !!
πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/don_gv
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2019
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I went on a date, and all she kept talking about for three hours was olive oil

I’m thinking extra virgin

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πŸ“…︎ Aug 20 2020
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What do you call a sleepwalking nun?

A roamin' Catholic.

πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Crap_TheBoozeOut
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2019
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Don't Plan a Trip With Virgin Airlines

They never go all the way.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/YiddishThunder
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2018
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My wife will probably die a virgin.

Cause I'm a god in bed.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nieepie
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2019
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If Kanye West was a Neko would he be a β€œWest Virgin Nya”?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AeRUBIK-Cubing
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2018
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Did you know that there are no canaries in the Canary Islands? And the same thing applies to the Virgin Islands;

There are no canaries there either.

πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jan_Tik
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2019
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TIL: there are no canaries on the Canary Islands. The Virgin Islands are the same..

There are no canaries there either.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/djmuhlestein
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2019
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You know how the Canary islands is a misnomer, since there's no canaries? It's the same with the Virgin Islands

There's no canaries there either

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Poortio
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2019
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Canary Islands

Did you know?

On the Canary Islands, there is not one Canary.

and on the Virgin Islands, there is not one Canary there either.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Coffeeaficionado_
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2020
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