Dad: Oh my god... are you serious?? Me: No dad, iβm Kevin
I just got leia-d
[removed]
...and my job at the morgue.
Lmao Just kidding, I'm a redditor so I've never talked to a warmen..
That was 2 birds with 1 stone.
Probably the only time i will get nailed (through the leather soul and foot).
P.S: i am alright, no infection.
Really ugly olives.
Those are the pie rates of the Caribbean
He tried everything: rodents, small animals, and even cuts from larger animals, but it wouldn't eat.
As a last resort, he offered a virgin, but still the snake wouldn't eat. So, he called up the village's wise man.
Without hesitation, the wise man put two pieces of bread on the woman, and the snake ate her whole.
When Attila asked why, the wise man responded,
"Thine anaconda don't want nun unless you've got buns, hun!"
There are no canaries there either...
They say you are what you eat. Well I don't remember eating a damn Pussy.
His mom had Dick Pryor.
That's why I haven't lost my virginity.
Humphrey.
He made a lovely job of the landing....
So my wife is currently working from home and her employer decided to send her a hamper package in the mail. It was quite nice but pretty standard stuff. Wine, some cookies, crackers and also a bottle extra virgin olive oil (came with a cheese platter kit)
Wife was pretty happy about the fancy packaging and showed it to me saying "look they even sent extra virgin olive oil in this little fancy bottle for cheese platters!"
My response? "Aww that poor olive oil bottle never had sex? So sad!"
...Pls send help
The ancient Greeks greatly feared volcanic explosions from Mt. Olympus, so they developed a tradition of sacrificing young maidens to the Gods on the mountain. Every year they selected five girls, and sacrificed four. Then they assigned the other one to stomp the olive harvest. Thatβs where we get Extra Virgin Olive Oil.
Diversion
They needed 3 wise men and a virgin
They called her Virgin for short... But not for long!!!
They learn fromage
After getting dating advice from a Redditor.
"You scared the bajeezus out of me!"
The virgin stops existing after his first hole in one,
virgin mobile.
Said the virgin.
He made me immortal
Iβm thinking extra virgin
A roamin' Catholic.
They never go all the way.
Cause I'm a god in bed.
There are no canaries there either.
There are no canaries there either.
There's no canaries there either
Did you know?
On the Canary Islands, there is not one Canary.
and on the Virgin Islands, there is not one Canary there either.
