What subtle cues have kicked you in to fight/flee/freeze? Could be from a person you know or total stranger. Could be directed at you, a friend, or at nobody in particular.
That is a quote from this article (about gaslighting), by an adult survivor of parental abuse.
It's an excellent article, could be a good read for people who are trying to identify what gaslighting is and how it was used on them.
It contains some tips to deal with gaslighting while it's occurring.
While Patsy's 911 call was not about a homicide and some of the criteria doesn't fit, still it's interesting. The thesis done by James D. Cromer/James Madison University essentially researched/studied the linguistics in 911 homicide calls. Basically looking for red flags of innocence/guilt from the linguistics via the caller.
>Each year, numerous 911 calls reporting a death or a serious injury that leads to death are received by emergency communications centers; many of these turn out to be related to a homicide. Interestingly, a small percentage of these calls are made by the perpetrator. These calls constitute the first available evidence in most homicide cases. They are recorded at times of great stress and are the first versions of what the callers purport to know. The ability to develop hypotheses about a caller’s truthfulness enhances the police response by objectively informing the process of formulating early investigative strategies. For example, knowing whether the caller uttered any words or phrases considered to be red flags that indicate deception would give an investigator an idea about whether the caller should be interviewed in greater depth. The present study examined 14 linguistic variables and an additional 4 “mitigating” variables in an effort to determine whether any of those variables, individually or in combination, were predictive of guilt or innocence. A sample of 50 calls to 911 centers was selected, including 36 innocent and 14 guilty callers. Five of the variables (Extraneous Information, Conflicting Facts, Incorrect Order, Proximity, and Weapon Touch) were significantly correlated (p<.05) with the guilt of the caller. Three additional variables that were hypothesized to predict guilt (Possession of the Problem, Thinking Pause, and Lack of Fear) were marginally significant (p<.08). This study proposes a useful model for the systematic evaluation of 911 calls for the presence of linguistic behavior that is correlated with an ultimate finding of guilt and/or innocence.
I thought it might make a good discussion. The Link; https://commons.lib.jmu.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1485&context=master201019
If you could recommend me some books about the basics of human behavior, how non verbal communication works in practice or what's the psychology behind it, i would really appreciate it.
I’m reading the review and a lot of it is going over my head.
How can I understand the differences between some of these? I understand manding, tacting... but having major difficulty with listener responding/intraverbal/echoic
I'm big into canine body language and non-verbal communication and wondered if spiders have body language communication that you guys (maybe especially those with pet tarantulas?) have noticed?
TW: Eating disordered behavior, emotional abuse, gaslighting, verbal abuse
TLDR: So, I have evidence that she is narcissistic, but I think I also have evidence against it. More than anything though, I really want to know how to quell my inner demons that tell me I’m not good enough. Therapy hasn’t really helped and my wife gave me wonderful advice today, but I wanted to hear from others about how to cut out the negative self-talk from my inner voice.
Evidence for my mom being a narcissist:
- She gaslights constantly. Puts words into others’ mouths and “remembers”(?) situations very differently from how my sister and I remember it. e.g.: She has commented about my weight and my eating my whole life, and doesn’t think she ever did when I was growing up and “looked my best”. She definitely projects her insecurities about her weight onto me and my sister, so while I turn to food for comfort from her words, my sister ended up restricting her food and became anorexic for some time. Her latest comments came through my 15 year old cousin - she had my cousin send me and my mom a sketchy website for weight loss (using my cousin as the messenger so that it looked like my cousin’s idea). It really affected me that she would be so sneaky about trying to comment about my weight, because she knows that I get so upset when she brings it up.
- Growing up, I had all these expectations thrust upon me. I had to be the best at everything, had to be good at math for my Ndad (I know he’s narcissistic but I know he isn’t the main cause of my inner demons), had to be in the top of my class because my mom wanted to brag about me to her friends. Literally, I’m such a disappointment to the family because I can’t bring her any clout anymore. My wife said to me today how when I broke the news to my mom that I didn’t get an impressive job because I had a panic attack in the interview, my mom lacked any real sympathy, since it meant that my mom can’t brag about anything about me to impress her friends.
- My default reaction is to “roll over and play dead” to quote my 31NB wife (they prefer that term although it is gendered). They said to me how submissive I am about everything to everyone, and I think it’s just a learned helplessness behavior - I learned growing up that being submissive and doing as I was told and doing what was expected of me kept my parents happy.
- I feel like I have to act like someone I’m not when I’m with my mom, because I’m constantly walking on eggshells
I understand that we can use our imagination and Neville's teachings to materialize our desires, but if the desire involves, say, wanting a person in your life to act or behave a certain way, is it also healthy/important to communicate your desires with that person?
Even if their behaviors can be changed with the law alone, wouldn't it be smart to be able to speak openly and honestly with the person about what it is that you want?
Hope that makes sense. Thanks!
