Valentin Pavlov Puns

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

Alot of great jokes get posted here! However just because you have a joke, doesn't mean it's a dad joke.

THIS IS NOT ABOUT NSFW, THIS IS ABOUT LONG JOKES, BLONDE JOKES, SEXUAL JOKES, KNOCK KNOCK JOKES, POLITICAL JOKES, ETC BEING POSTED IN A DAD JOKE SUB

Try telling these sexual jokes that get posted here, to your kid and see how your spouse likes it.. if that goes well, Try telling one of your friends kid about your sex life being like Coca cola, first it was normal, than light and now zero , and see if the parents are OK with you telling their kid the "dad joke"

I'm not even referencing the NSFW, I'm saying Dad jokes are corny, and sometimes painful, not sexual

So check out r/jokes for all types of jokes

r/unclejokes for dirty jokes

r/3amjokes for real weird and alot of OC

r/cleandadjokes If your really sick of seeing not dad jokes in r/dadjokes

Punchline !

Edit: this is not a post about NSFW , This is about jokes, knock knock jokes, blonde jokes, political jokes etc being posted in a dad joke sub

Edit 2: don't touch the thermostat

Do your worst!

How the hell am I suppose to know when it’s raining in Sweden?

Mathematical puns makes me number

Ants don’t even have the concept fathers, let alone a good dad joke. Keep r/ants out of my r/dadjokes.

But no, seriously. I understand rule 7 is great to have intelligent discussion, but sometimes it feels like 1 in 10 posts here is someone getting upset about the jokes on this sub. Let the mods deal with it, they regulate the sub.

They were cooked in Greece.

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

He lost May

Now that I listen to albums, I hardly ever leave the house.

Don't you know a good pun is its own reword?

Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says "is it just me, or is it hot in here?"

Then the other muffin says "AHH, TALKING MUFFIN!!!"

Salutations, welcome and greetings to all. We have finalized our first Dev Diary which incorporates the lore of each country as per our starting ideas. This dev diary is intended to be comprehensive, although not to an obsessive degree. Further questions can be made in the #ask-a-dev channel of our Discord and in the comments of this post.

 

The Dev Diary will be structured according to a Q&A format, and so will be easiest for us to go over everything, as we are a small team.

With all that said, let us begin: We will separate each question set by regions.

North America and the Pacific:

 

Q: How is the United States faring politically? Is it collapsed? Is it together? Is it powerful on the world stage?

A: No, the United States has not collapsed in TotA. Yes, it is together in earnest, although it has slightly less influence in the Pacific in terms of raw territorial control (The Federated States of Micronesia are a part of the Empire of Japan). Yes, the United States is extremely powerful on the world stage, although a fair bit more isolationist than OTL. This is because of the Gore two-term presidency during 9/11, which resulted in no invasion of Iraq. The United States’ sphere of influence has turned into a much stronger level of Atlanticism, not having to deal with several parts of NATO not being interested in said Atlanticism, meaning that western Europe and the United States are very much closer together overall.

Q: Wait, Empire of Japan? Is Japan still an Empire?

A: Yes! Due to Germany’s loss in 1943, prior to Hideki Tojo’s resignation, Japan managed to secure a peace deal with the United States that meant the retreat from southeastern China, liberation of several colonial territories in the area into their own independent republics and states, and the maintenance of Japanese territory like Korea and Saipan up to the 1970s, when Korea broke off nominally from the Empire after a Chinese intervention during the Seoul Riots, the new Korean Kingdom in the south having been forced towards Japan from the United Nations.

Q: Germany lost in 1943? Seoul Riots? Chinese intervention?

A: Yes! The Smolensk Flight that Hitler was in, and had several assasination attempts in it OTL, succeeded in killing Hitler and thus Nazi Germany fell in total chaos, with an SS coup coming up immediately after by the LSSH “Adolf Hitler” division, which immediately resulted in brutal civil war with Heer garrisson

We told her she can lean on us for support. Although, we are going to have to change her driver's license, her height is going down by a foot. I don't want to go too far out on a limb here but it better not be a hack job.

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

And now I’m cannelloni

Because she wanted to see the task manager.

But that’s comparing apples to oranges

And boy are my arms legs.

Put it on my bill

Heard they've been doing some shady business.

but then I remembered it was ground this morning.

Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me that my jokes aren't stale

Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments

BamBOO!

They’re on standbi

A play on words.

Calcium, nickel, neon

My daughter, Chewbecca, not so much.

Pilot on me!!

Christopher Walken

Nothing, he was gladiator.

The bartender says, "Sorry, no minors”

Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.

This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.

If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.

Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.

Or would that be too forward thinking?

At work, I have a workstation.

edit: cheers u/cheer_up_richard

I’m stumped.

What did 0 say to 8 ?

" Nice Belt "

So What did 3 say to 8 ?

" Hey, you two stop making out "