Vaalu Puns

My friend asked me this while we were roaming around the campus at 3 AM? Since that night I couldn't get proper sleep. Please let me know if you have an idea.

Thanks in advance!

(puke after drinking too much)

Google is shit. Meekantu privacy emi vundadhu. Incgonito vadithe history matrame save avadhu meeru visit chese websites ki meeru em chesthunaro thelusthedhi.

(Eg: Youtube lo adult ads vasthayi konthamandhiki adhi vaalu visit chesina website ni batte vachayi)

Browser marchandi use BRAVE or FIRE FOX + Ublock origin extension or BROMITE

(Meeru em chesthunaro Chrome nunchi google vaadu chusthadu, Edge nunchi microsoft vaadu chusthadu)

NEW PIPE APP, youtube ki alternative. (Vanced is an alternative kaani safe kaadhu)

BOXYCRYPTOR APP/ CRYPTOMATOR gdrive loki files upload chese mundhu encrypt cheyadaniki.

XODO APP for editing PDF's POCKET BOOKS for reading PDF's.

BLACKHOLE APP/ SPOTIFY Mod, songs kosam.

SIGNAL APP, Alternative for whatsapp and telegram. (Telegram groups kosam vadandi, whatsapp chat encrypted eh kaani dhaani owner Meta, nammalemu and Whatsapp data ni back doors nunchi exploit chesthundhi ani talk vundhi)

SOLIDEXPLORER APP, File explorer with good features.

FAIR EMAIL APP, K9MAIL APP, PROTONMAIL APP, Gmail ki alternative.

(FAIR EMAIL APP open source kaani dhaani UI konthamandhiki chiraku ga vundochu)

Meeku theliyakapothe chepthuna gmail is technically not an email. Gmail anedhi email service provider, there are other email service providers

LIBRE TORRENTS APP, Alternative for utorrent. (DON'T ever use pirate bay for anything)

ZARCHIVER APP, RAR files kosam.

PICSART APP, photo editing kosam. Link

BLOCKADA for adblocking.

NETGUARD APP, for regulating internet to apps. (settings app ki wifi connection endhuku?)

Netgaurd app vaadi meeru vadani apps ki inka offline lo vaada galige apps ki internet block cheyandi. Internet tho run ayye apps ki ad personalization off cheyandi:

1. Open your 'Settings' app
2. Locate and tap Google
3. Select Ads
4. Turn ON Opt out of Ads Personalization

Google apps anni thiseyandi, kudirithe uninstall ledha disable. Recently I have noticed that people are not able to disable apps dhaniki ADB software vadachu. (ADB software ki explanation kindha links lo vundhi)

Android OS kuda macrheyachu but, adhi cheyadaniki general ga evariki time vundadhu andhuke chepaledhu. You can do it if you have time.

VPN vadandi.

Websites lo email or phone number adigithe temporary mails and phone numbers vadandi mee search engine lo search chesthe chaala websites veetini provide chesthayi.

koni health tips:

Use tinted glasses and use reading m

Ninna Spiderman movie chudadam jergindi New Jersey lo. Akkada morning 11 show ki janalu costumes vesukoni ravadam, theatre lo racha racha gola cheyadam, claps kottadam, kekalu pettadam, edvadam kuda jergindi. Sagam dialogues kuda vinapadale. I love this kind of atmosphere, ngl.

Recent ga mana sub lo konni posts chusa that theatre folks were issuing warnings about fan behaviors for Akhanda movie. I just want to say that generalizing this kind of behavior just to telugu people is RACIST.

When I watched Khaidi no. 150 premiere show in Chicago, people were cheering non-stop. Just cheers, nothing else. Daaniki kuda theatre vaalu cops ni pilchi lecture icharu. Spiderman, avengers movies lo loudness, brat behavior danikante 10x ekkuva unde. But nobody bat an eyelid.

There might be instances of things getting out of control. But that's true for every fanbase, not just Telugu. At least we don't bring guns and shoot people at the movies like it happened for Batman: the dark knight rises. We don't stab people in the hallway like in Melbourne California. Most of us love cinema, fan-worship (although cringe), and want to express ourselves sometimes. There's absolutely nothing wrong in it. There is nothing to be ashamed of some telugu folks and their harmless behavior. Let people have fun once in a while.

End of rant, thanks for reading.

Edit: turns out the stabbing happened in Corona, California, and not in Melbourne.

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

Bondhalara, freshu ga oka sub create chesa fitness and fitness info kosam, nachina vaalu vacheyandhi kalisi weight loss / weight gain cheskundam

Idhigo subu

r/Bondha_FitnessCenter/

ఇది ఇదివరకే అడిగి ఉండొచ్చు. అయినప్పటికీ

1. Assal nijam cheppalante "introverts" kante "extroverts" aee life ni baaga jeevistharu anipisthundhi. So naa prakaram manam extrovert ga avvadaniki try chesthene life lo manam improve avvagalam ani abhiprayam.

2. Movies ki mundhu "naa peru mukhesh" ane dialogue ni andharu troll ga vaadam naaku assal nachadhu. Ante manushulu intha insensitive aa? Oka person vaala worst situation lo unnapudu, govt edho awareness kosam chesina ad ni vekkiristhunnaru.

3. Suppose manam oka person ki premani express chesthe, vaalaki manam nachakapothe. Andharu "it's their loss" antaaru. Assal naaku ardham kaadhu!! Ante ippudu vaalu manalni ishtapadakunte vaalu bad aa? Idhi proper ga explain cheyyaleka pothunna.

I am building a spreadsheet that will do some payroll calculations.

I want each week's formula to be based on an employee's current hourly rate. However, the employee's rates change throughout the year. If I just change the original rate it will mess up the records from the previous pay period.

My thinking was that I could have the weekly calculation check a column of pay rates based on the date the pay rate was implemented and return the most recent one that is not later than the week date.

Is this possible, or is there a better way?

Do your worst!

They were cooked in Greece.

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

Don't you know a good pun is its own reword?

Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says "is it just me, or is it hot in here?"

Then the other muffin says "AHH, TALKING MUFFIN!!!"

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

Because she wanted to see the task manager.

But that’s comparing apples to oranges

Heard they've been doing some shady business.

but then I remembered it was ground this morning.

Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me that my jokes aren't stale

Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments

BamBOO!

They’re on standbi

A play on words.

My daughter, Chewbecca, not so much.

Pilot on me!!

And boy are my arms legs.

Christopher Walken

YouTube, SoundCloud, Mixcloud

Last year my yearmix was well received here, and this year I've put my heart into another. Track selection is my personal favourites of the year. Check it out if you'd like!

-Amber

Tracklist:

0:00:00 Ben Böhmer - Beyond Beliefs (Original Mix) [Anjunadeep]

0:06:42 Bound to Divide with Lewyn - Coming Home (Extended Mix) [Colorize]

0:10:50 Tantum & Rezident - Grauzone (Original Mix) [This Never Happened]

0:14:59 Nordfold - Letter To Lillehammer (Extended Mix) [Anjunadeep]

0:19:41 Sebastian Sellares - Garden of Eden (Extended Mix) [Anjunadeep]

0:26:31 Adam Nickey - Perfect Destiny (Nick Silvestri Remix) [Pure Progressive]

0:31:45 Fidem Community - One Seven [Fidem Community]

0:39:37 Weird Sounding Dude - Star Child (Nōpi Remix) [3rd Avenue]

0:46:00 Goda Brother - With Pleasure (K Loveski Remix) [Future Avenue]

0:52:40 Travertia - Vaalu (Original Mix) [Forestrip Music]

0:58:28 Valentín Huedo feat. Bird - Tonight (Original Mix) [All Day I Dream]

1:03:43 Modd - Chisto Pole (Day Version) [Something Special]

1:08:57 The Cobb - Voda (Original Mix) [-102°C]

1:14:30 Tom Day & Monsoonsiren - From Afar (Makebo Remix) [RUVENZORI/Anjunadeep]

1:18:44 Simon Doty - Belikewater (Extended Mix) [Anjunadeep]

1:24:13 Solanca - In Bloom (Extended Mix) [Immersed]

1:29:10 London Grammar - Hey Now (Gus F Remix) [Unreleased/Free DL]

1:33:36 Ben Böhmer & Panama - Weightless (Extended Mix) [Future Classic]

1:39:22 Ben Böhmer - Strangers (Original Mix) [Anjunadeep]

1:44:53 Marsh - Pretty Eyes (Extended Mix) [Anjunadeep]

1:49:03 Simon Doty - House For All (Extended Mix) [Anjunadeep]

1:54:14 Durante & HANA - Celestia (Extended Mix) [Anjunadeep]

1:58:36 Passive Progressive feat. Sentient Mullet - Fluke (Solarstone Reconstruction) [Pure Progressive]

2:03:34 Sultan + Shepard - Morning at Olio's (Original Mix) [This Never Happened]

2:08:17 Paul Thomas & Fuenka - Yin (djimboh Remix) [UV]

2:13:32 djimboh & Lumynesynth - Up Here (Extended Mix) [Colorize]

2:18:47 Sunlight Project - Deep Meditation (Original Mix) [Incepto Music]

2:23:30 Nursultan Kun - Soroqa (Original Mix) [Amulanga]

2:29:48 Volen Sentir - Mitra (Original Mix) [Lost & Found]

2:35:34 Ventt & Keparys - Last Night on Earth (Original Mix) [Amulang