2 drunk guys getting into a fight. One gets up and draws a line on the ground. He says "you cross this line and I'll punch you in the face".

That was the punchline...

πŸ‘︎ 35
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dinnen1
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2021
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My friend was very irritated because his fishing pole broke and he had to wind up the fishing line manually.

He was being a reel crank.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2020
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The captain wanted all sailors of German descent to come out onto the top ship platform and line up...

It was all Hans on deck!

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2020
🚨︎ report
On a hot summer day, a woman has a hankering for a hot dog. She walks to the nearest hot dog stand and gets in line. Looking up to the front of the queue, she sees an elderly gentleman ordering a bratwurst...

He picks up the ketchup bottle, glances at it and gives a hearty chuckle before slathering his brat in ketchup.

Puzzled, the woman watches as the next customer, a young girl, walks up to order her hot dog.

As she takes the container of relish, she bursts into a fit of giggles and walks off with her food, still laughing merrily.

A middle-aged man steps up next. Shoveling sauerkraut onto his hot dog, he laughs uproariously and walks away grinning.

When she reaches the front of the line, the woman asks the hot dog vendor,

β€œExcuse me, sir, but why does everyone laugh when they get their hot dogs?”

β€œIt’s simple, ma’am.” he says, handing her a piping-hot sausage. β€œI’m surprised you haven’t discovered for yourself.”

Glancing at the mustard, the woman lets loose a peal of laughter.

β€œYa see, ma’am? The real_joke’s always in the condiments!"

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2019
🚨︎ report
To get a girl, some guys use pick up lines. Others rely on the attraction of their car

So I figure a pick up truck should cover both bases

πŸ‘︎ 73
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πŸ‘€︎ u/td941
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2019
🚨︎ report
Which vegetable likes to line up the most?

A queuecumber

πŸ‘︎ 55
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sphearox
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16 2019
🚨︎ report
Sets up the β€˜pun’ch line
πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Irv-Elephant
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2019
🚨︎ report
Today I went to a college visit, and in order to speed up the line for food I just grabbed some butter for my bagel and put it in my pocket

My sister said, oh no, it almost fell out! You butter watch it! ;D

I’m so proud of her, I’ve raised her well

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/piiraka
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the perverted pumpkin use for his pick-up line?

Hey gourd-geous! Wanna go back to my place and squash?

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/grizzlyblur
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2019
🚨︎ report
An astronaut was talking to the control room but the line was breaking up a little so he couldn't understand what they were trying to say.

So he just yelled out, "What on Earth are you talking about?".

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HornyLogician
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2019
🚨︎ report
An ancient Greek playwright was suffering writer’s block. Kept scribbling down lines and then tearing up the pages.

Picking up the torn pages, his friend asked, β€œWhy Euripides?”

πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pirate-fool
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did Joseph keep bringing up tractors on the firing line?

'cause he was Stalin!

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/steadmanthewhale
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2019
🚨︎ report
I called a customer help line about some problems I was having with my computer. The guy who answered just said β€œjofke” and hung up...

The customer service was an F’in joke

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2018
🚨︎ report
Another Dad cut in front of me in the after school pick up line

It really pissed me off. So the next day I got there early and taught his kid how to ride a bike.

And you can never get that back

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SykoKilla_ii
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2018
🚨︎ report
A container full of fridges washes up on shore... The last line is my favourite. canberratimes.com.au/nsw/…
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ham_cheese_tomato
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2014
🚨︎ report
Have you heard the new pick up line at the gay bar?

Can I push your stool in for you.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/fatfletch
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2017
🚨︎ report

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