Unpacking Puns

Workers at a new steakhouse discovered that removing fiberglass steer from their shipping platforms is an unpalatable job.

I'm unpacking the dishwasher and bump into my dad with a mug and he goes

Dad: Help! ThatFeelBro Is trying to mug me!

I was going to a fencing tournament with my teammates. In our hotel the night before, while unpacking, one of my teammates hit her head on a lamp. Rushing over I asked her if she was ok, or if she was feeling light-headed.

(Don't worry, she was perfectly ok)

She got a cookbook but a vegetarian version of a book she already has.

My mom said literally: "Oh I didn't know it was also vegetarian??".

Classic dad answer: "Nah it isn't I saw it eating meat just around the corner."

He then proceeded to laugh at his joke for a good 5 minutes. But really rebursting out in laughter ever minute it was awful/awesome at the same time.

We're unpacking our bags on our cruise ship. I complain that all my clothes are wrinkled and there's no ironing board in the cabin. She replies:

"Don't worry. Everyone here's in the same boat."

She was already starting to laugh before she stopped talking.

There‘s a lot to unpack here

My family went up to Washington for a couple of weeks and my sister brought her boyfriend. Let's refer to her as Kiwi and him as Konrad. We didn't want to deal with bringing a car up, so we rented one, going with a Volkswagen Jetta at the recommendation of the agent who saw the huge volume of stuff we were carrying. I remember seeing Konrad smirking a little bit when we got in the car, but didn't think anything of it at the time.

Fast forward to the end of our vacation, and we're heading back to the agency to turn in the car, and unpacking all of our stuff from the trunk, and Kiwi says "That looks like everything," and Konrad says "Yup, I guess that's the return of the Jetta."

Me: "You've been waiting three weeks to use that, haven't you?"

(Parents are moving from Missouri to Texas)

Dad: Your mom and I made it down here without a hitch! We're pretty wiped out, so we'll probably unpack the trailer in the morning.

Me: How'd you tow the trailer all the way down there without a hitch?!?!

Dad: Well played..

Our first day in it, I was unpacking boxes downstairs, when water started to drip from the ceiling. I went upstairs and found that my wife had showered, only to realize afterward that the shower lacked any kind of sealant between the tiles. Sensing my frustration with the shoddy workmanship, my wife replied, "You're just going to have to give it the benefit of the grout."

Unpacking groceries into the fridge, the fridge starts with it's alarm that the door has been open for too long (jingle bells)

Me: I wish the fridge would shut the hell up! Step daughter: it's a smart fridge Me: well if it's so damn smart, why the hell is it playing Christmas carols in May.

Groans where heard throughout the house

After unpacking a simple and straightforward gift I turned to my dad and mentioned,

"Hey, there is no owners manual."

Without pause he just looks back and says,

"Well of course it's an owners automatic"

My dad owns a small garden supply store. Today, he got a new shipment in, and as I was helping him unpack the boxes, I pulled out a couple fishing rods, which he's never stocked before.

Me: You gonna start selling fishing gear?

Dad: Yup.

Me: How come?

Dad: Just for the Halibut.

So I'm unpacking the dishwasher, my sister and my dad are sitting at the table.

Dad: farts

Sister: That's disgusting. Say excuse me...

Dad: Excuse you.

Me: laughs in corner

Me: goes over and high-fives dad