Remember Matt Damon?

I met a stranger o‌‌n t‌‌he t‌‌ube t‌‌he o‌‌ther d‌‌ay. He didn't say 'hello', as a normal person might. Instead, he s‌‌aid, "‌‌Remember Matt Damon".

That seems a little bit weird... but it gets weirder. The next day, I passed the same fellow on the street, while I was out walking my dog. He called out to me once again, "Remember Matt Damon".

But I finally cracked it and called the cops after the SAME guy t‌‌apped o‌‌n m‌‌y bedroom w‌‌indow, a‌‌t 1‌‌1.30 pm last n‌‌ight. He called to me, loud enough for me to clearly hear him through the glass, "‌‌Remember Matt Damon."

My conversation with the police then went like this:

Me: Officer, I think I have a stalker.

Policeman: can you tell me anything about this person?

Me: Well... uhhh... he reminds me of Matt Damon...

👍︎ 25
💬︎
👤︎ u/td941
📅︎ May 08 2020
🚨︎ report
Yam-themed dadjoke, definitely as bad as you think

I was snapchatting a friend of mine and I started talking about this purple yam (or ube) cupcake I was eating

Friend: Is purple yam actually good?

Me: Yep! It's very yam-y

-6 seconds later-

Me: I'm sorry that was uncalled for.

I still haven't gotten a reply, so worth it though

👍︎ 7
💬︎
📅︎ Dec 28 2013
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.