OMG, I can't believe Trump wanted Turkey to reveal it's tactics for capturing eight-legged, two-tentacled sea creatures!!!

He tried to do it squid pro quo.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2019
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In the time honored tradition, President Trump pardoned two turkeys this Thanksgiving.

Trump Jr and Eric were mighty relieved.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/derawin08
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2017
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You hear about the two turkeys who got into a fight?

They beat the stuffing outta each other.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CosmicPancakes
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2013
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One kid wanted Dad to draw Bane... The other one wanted a turkey.. Decided to knock out two birds with one stone.. (X-post r/batman) imgur.com/VrlPxcE
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Blinding-Light
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2013
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Puns for Kids

The funniest and shortest puns for kids, you always remember while teaching children puns, try to choose the short ones because they are easy for them to remember and register.

Puns for Kids

Why are teddy bears never hungry? They are always stuffed!


What do you get when you cross a snake and a pie? A pie-thon!


Where do polar bears vote? The North Poll.


What did the judge say when the skunk walked into the court room? Odor in the court!


Two silkworms had a race. They ended up in a tie.


Why are fish so smart? Because they live in schools.


The streets in the capital of Afghanistan are paved with Kabulstones.


How does a lion greet the other animals in the field? Pleased to eat you.


What do you get when a chicken lays an egg on top of a barn? An egg roll!


No matter how much you push the envelope, it will still be stationery.


Why did the turkey cross the road? To prove he wasn’t chicken!


What musical is about a train conductor? β€œMy Fare, Lady”.


A man drowned in a bowl of muesli. A strong currant pulled him in.


What do you get from a pampered cow? Spoiled milk.


What animals are on legal documents? Seals!


Why did the lion spit out the clown? Because he tasted funny!


Why did the bumble bee leave the house? It heard the school was having a spelling bee.


Being struck by lightning is really a shocking experience!


How do celebrities stay cool? They have many fans!


Why do fish live in salt water? Because pepper makes them sneeze!


Dockyard: A physician’s garden.


What did the angry mother say to the boiling pot of spaghetti? Simmer down!


The lights were too bright at the Chinese restaurant so the manager decided to dim sum.


β€œWhat’s purple and 5000 miles long?” β€œOoh! I know! The Grape Wall of China!”


Every calendar’s days are numbered.


This duck walks into a bar and orders a beer. β€œFour bucks,” says the bartender. β€œPut it on my bill.”


I used to be twins. My mother has a picture of me when I was two.


What sound do porcupines make when they kiss? Ouch!


When does a well-dressed lion look like a weed? When he’s a dandelion (dandy lion).


Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a-salted.


A bicycle can’t stand on its own because it is

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Punsville
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2017
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Dad joked a customer today

So I work as a cashier at a grocery store. A customer was buying two turkeys and two packages of prime rib, and he asked for separate bagging.

So I replied, "excellent, here at the store we also like to maintain a separation of bird and steak."

Customer laughed a pity laugh. I told everyone. My life is boring.

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2014
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Grabbing some lunch the Wednesday before Thanksgiving.

"Hey dad, I'm going to head out to the store for a sandwich right quick"

"Why? We have turkey and ham in the fridge."

I open the door expecting deli meats. Nope, a 7 lb ham and two 10 lb turkeys.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/esuma10
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2015
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