Tver Karelia Puns

Hello Russians from Reddit! I'm a guy from Belgium. Russia is one of the countries I look forward to the most. I have learned a bit of Russian in advance and I am able to read Cyrillic. I, however, have some questions since I've never been in Russia before and there is not a lot of unbiased information to find on the internet.

The plan is to enter Russia via the forests of Karelia (crossing the Finnish border), up to Saint-Petersbourg, Staraya Ladoga, Veliky Novgorod, the Iver Monastery, Ostashkov, Tver, Kalyazin, Uglich, Myshkin and Sergiyev Posad, before visiting Moscow. After Moscow, we would like to visit Perslavl-Zalessky, Rostov Veliki, Vyatskoye, Kostroma, Suzdal, Vladimir and Kazan. Then we drive southwards towards Samara, Saratov, Volgograd, Astrakhan and Elista. We will cross the border of Georgia in Vladikavkaz, but I don't plan on stopping in Stavropol or Vladikavkaz.

The questions that I have for you:

1. We will have to do this within 30 days, because of visa restrictions. Which cities or places in the list above would you skip? Which ones should I definitely do? I like off the beaten path destinations with nature and friendly locals. We dislike tourist traps.
2. In the West, we hear a lot of crazy driving stories about Russia. I believe this might be stereotypical (and you all have a dashcam, so we can see all the crashes). But is there some truth in it? I have driven in Georgia for two weeks. It was crazy, but okay if you drive defensively and slow. Can I compare Georgian traffic with Russian traffic?
3. Driving in Moscow and Saint Petersbourg does not seem like a good idea, because these cities are giant. We would enter them via train. Do you know a good city near Moscow and one near Saint Petersbourg, where we could park our car safely?
4. Our Belgian government advises not to visit the Northern Caucasus region because it is deemed unsafe (as is the border region with Ukraine). I'll drive in a western licensed car with my girlfriend so I have to be bit more cautious. The problem is that I need to enter Georgia. I know Chechnya got safer in the last decade, but I am a bit wary of Dagestan, North Ossetia, Kabardino, Karachay and Ingushetia. We would drive through the latter three Republics to enter the border of Georgia. I would probably try to do this within one day of driving. Is this okay to do?
5. Hit me up if you have good tips for this trip!

Thanks a lot. Looking forward to meet you all! Have a great day.

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

Do your worst!

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

Buenosdillas

They’re on standbi

Pilot on me!!

Nothing, he was gladiator.

Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.

This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.

If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.

Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.

When I got home, they were still there.

What did 0 say to 8 ?

" Nice Belt "

So What did 3 say to 8 ?

" Hey, you two stop making out "

I won't be doing that today!

[Removed]

Hi all! I am working on a personal project to read at least one fiction book (or poetry or play) from every single region of Russia! It's obviously a big project, and while I have done a lot of research, including emailing scholars for certain hard-to-find places, I would love some more insider insight. I have attached my list below. Any advice, recommendations, etc greatly appreciated!

Unbold = I own the book

Bold = the book exists but I haven't purchased it yet

crossed off = finished reading

author name without title = haven't been able to find any translations yet, but I know the author fits the region

• o Republic of Adygea
  • ♣ History of Adyghe Literature (Kadir I. Natho)
  • ♣ Tembot Kerashev
  • ♣ Iskhak Mashbash
  • ♣ Kuba Shaaban
• o Republic of Bashkortostan
  • ♣ The Big Green Tent (Lyudmila Ulitskaya)
  • ♣ The Zone (Sergei Dovlatov)
• o Republic of Buryatia
  • ♣ Sengiin Erdene
  • ♣ Amarsana Ulzytuev (poems in folder)
• o Altai Republic
  • ♣ Altai Oral Epic (in folder)
  • ♣ Māday Qara: an Altay Epic Poem (Ugo Marazzi)
• o Republic of Dagestan
  • ♣ The Mountain and the Wall (Alisa Ganieva)
• o Republic of Ingushetia
  • ♣ [Musa Geshaev]
  • ♣ Issa Kodzoev
  • ♣ Djemaldin Yandiev
  • ♣ Idris Bazorkin (downloaded excerpts)
• o Kabardino-Balkar Republic
  • ♣ Shora Begmurzin Nogma
  • ♣ [Nart Sagas: Ancient Myths and Legends of the Circassians and Abkhazians (John Colarusso)] -- $39.50 semcoop
  • ♣ Grass and Stone (Kaisyn Kuliev) - WorldCat
• o Republic of Kalmykia
  • ♣ David Nikitch Kugultinov
• o Karachay-Cherkess Republic
• o Republic of Karelia
  • ♣ [Olavi Paavolainen]
  • ♣ Kalevala -- $15.95 semcoop -- Oxford
• o Komi Republic
• o Mari El Republic
  • ♣ Sergei Chavain
• o Republic of Mordovia
  • ♣ Aleksandr Sharonov
• o Sakha (Yakutia) Republic
  • ♣ Gennady Dyachkov (in Anthology)
• o Republic of North Ossetia-Alania
  • ♣ Arsen Kotsoyev
  • ♣ Elbazduko Britayev
  • ♣ Kosta Khetagurov
• o Republic of Tatarstan
  • ♣ Generations of Winter (Vasily Aksyonov)
• o Tuva Republic
  • ♣ [Galsan Tschinag]
• o Udmurt Republic
  • ♣ Pyotr Blinov
  • ♣ Grigorij Verevsvcagin
  • ♣ Kedra Mitrej
  • ♣ Mihail Petrov
  • ♣ Dorvyzhy
• o Republic of Khakassia
• o Chechen Republic
  • ♣ I am a Chechen! (German Sadulaev)
• o Chuvash Republic
  • ♣ Gennadiy Aygi
    • ♣ **T

You take away their little brooms

This morning, my 4 year old daughter.

Daughter: I'm hungry

Me: nerves building, smile widening

Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.

She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.

Thank you all for listening.

There hasn't been a post all year!

Why

It’s pronounced “Noel.”

After all his first name is No-vac

What, then, is Chinese rap?

Edit:

Notable mentions from the comments:

• Spanish/Swedish/Swiss/Serbian hits

• French/Finnish art

• Country/Canadian rap

• Chinese/Country/Canadian rock

• Turkish/Tunisian/Taiwanese rap

There hasn't been a single post this year!

(Happy 2022 from New Zealand)

Nothing, it just waved

Him: I can explain everything!

(It's his best joke yet I think)

CLASSIFIED UNDER ORDERS OF THE RUSSIAN ARMED FORCES GENERAL STAFF

OPERATION REMEMBER THE ALAMO

Comrade Admiral,

At 0900 hundred hours we have detected a large detachment of ACDO ships heading in the direction of our territorial claims and our own fleet positions. This is unacceptable and cannot stand. We can confirm that missiles have launched and have hit the pride of our fleet

You are tasked with locating and destroying the American fleet. Leave no survivors. Russia is weakened, but we will not have our servicemen die and have the Americans get away with it.

Sail into the Atlantic. Locate the fleet. Leave no survivors. Engage using all non-nuclear means of engagement. You will NOT have aerial superiority, yet we are confident in your numerical superiority. You will have the entire Russian Northern Fleet (with the exception of the Carrier) and the Russian Pacific Fleet.

For Operation Remember the Alamo, you are hereby granted the following ships:

Bob

So that I could frequently say, "I am going to walk 5 miles now."

Edit: My most popular post on Reddit! 😀 Thank you for the awards.

Just to clarify, 12345678

Me grabbing a soda from my (what I thought was) half full 12pk...

Notices there's only 2;

Me: "Awe man... This is a damn bird box!" Her: "What the hell does that mean?!" Me: (Pulls both cans out & shows them to her) "It's only got Toucans."

I'm not ashamed to admit the look on her face was glorious.

I was just sitting there doing nothing.