So there’s this Spanish magician. His main trick was performing a spectacular vanishing act. He said that he’d vanish on the count of three. β€œUno” β€œDos”

And then he vanished, without a tres.

πŸ‘︎ 56
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cookiesncream6969
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a dog that can do magic tricks?

A Labracadabrador

πŸ‘︎ 704
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πŸ‘€︎ u/D3V1L420
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2020
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It's halloween and not a single kid came to my house trick or treating...

...that only happens once in a blue moon.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ewouldblock
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2020
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Why don’t skeletons go trick or treating?

Because they have no body to go with...

πŸ‘︎ 908
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheMaskedCrisis
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2020
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For my next trick I will disappear,

Fuck you pear you taste like shit.

πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Titan407
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2020
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Scientists have discovered the trick STIs use to spread in Alabama

Mum-to-sis

If this isn't original then I seriously spent a whole 20 mins on nothing

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kayserchan13
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2020
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I saw a magic trick performed at synagogue

Silly Rabbi, tricks are for kids

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hotsprings1234
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2020
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I'm going to show you a magic trick and make two bras out of thin air

Abracadabra

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/yogeshbiebz
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2020
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my party trick is swallowing two pieces of string and an hour later they come out of my arse tied together....

i shit you knot!

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mznalouise22
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2020
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I have a party trick

I swallow 2 pieces of string, after they've passed through my body they come out joined together. I sh*t you knot.

πŸ‘︎ 39
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MuttonChopzzz
πŸ“…︎ May 27 2020
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There's an easy trick you can use to calculate your IQ

It's 150 minus the number of toilet rolls you have at home

πŸ‘︎ 47
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2020
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A Spanish magician prepares the audience for his final trick...

He yells "UNO!"

The crowd falls silent in anticipation.

"DOS!"

Everyone's eyes are wide, laser focused on the preformer.

Then, the magician vanishes... without a tres.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ChewyNutCluster
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2020
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What's Bruno Mars favorite vegetable trick?

24 carrot magic

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rocks_D_Ririck
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2020
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I've been teaching my dog a new trick

Now she can fart on my wife's pillow

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Slymood
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2020
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A white-tail keeps showing up at our house doing tricks, trying to impress us to get food...

It's endeering.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2020
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What did the Spanish speaking magician say right before he performed his vanaishing trick?

"Uno, dos..."

And then POOF! He disappeared.

Without a tres.

πŸ‘︎ 411
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πŸ‘€︎ u/finestjuggler
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2019
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Remember, you can't teach an old dog new tricks

But you can teach old people dog tricks.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dr_Phan_Tastic
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13 2020
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The trick is working it into a conversation
πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/slightly_lisdexic
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2020
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Trick or Treat
πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/therealjameswood
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2019
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What do you call magic tricks performed by dads?

Patrick

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/invisible_being
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2020
🚨︎ report
Tonight, I'm going trick-or-treating with the same costume I had from last year

All my neighbors are going to get a case of dΓ©jΓ  BOO.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/WHOmagoo
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2019
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What do you call sausages trick or treating?

Halloweiners

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mrdangwangpang
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2019
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How do you trick your kids into giving you more fries?

Tell them that eating too much will fry their brains.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/D3LTA-X
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2020
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People always ask where I learned my impressive vape tricks.

I studied at Juuliard.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/-wao
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2020
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A Hat Trick of Patricks

A while ago a friend was telling me how they named their bike Patrick and that their previous bike was the same color and also named Patrick. I replied "Cool. So if you get one more you'll have a Pat Trick."

(β€’_,β€’)

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/gravi-tea
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the trick or treater throw out their left twix bar?

It didn't taste right

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hotsprings1234
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2019
🚨︎ report
What a mind blowing trick!
πŸ‘︎ 69
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Zach2072
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2019
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Spiderbro has a trick
πŸ‘︎ 55
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πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2019
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I showed a mime a magic trick.

He was speechless

πŸ‘︎ 38
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πŸ‘€︎ u/fartfacepooper
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2019
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I bought a book of magic tricks. It’s badly written and none of the tricks work.

I guess the magician writer didn’t use spell check.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Trtlman
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2019
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Ladies! Destroy the patriarchy with this one simple trick!

Next time a man tells you to make him a sandwich, just say "Poof! You're a sandwich!"

Patriarchy can only be destroyed with dad jokes.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RogerStormzy
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2019
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FDA releases a new warning for black licorice this trick or treat season.

"It tastes like shit"

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/karmisson
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the magician fail in his exam of magic tricks?

Because trick questions were asked in the exam.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pabesh17
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a dog that does magic tricks?

A Labracadabrador.

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/God_Smith82
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a dog that can do magic tricks?

Trixie

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bardbelle
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a dog that does magic tricks?

A Labracadabrador.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/God_Smith82
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2020
🚨︎ report
what do you call a dog that can do magic tricks?

a labracadabrador

πŸ‘︎ 205
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2019
🚨︎ report
For my next trick,I will disappear.

"Fuck you,pear. You taste like shit."

πŸ‘︎ 4k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Mudpucket1969
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2018
🚨︎ report
And for my next trick, I will disappear

Fuck you pear, you taste like shit!

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/adyeardley
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2020
🚨︎ report
Why do skeletons never go trick or treating?

Because they have no body to go with

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AnthonyTheBg
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2020
🚨︎ report
Why don’t skeletons ever go trick or treating?

Because they have nobody to go with.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2019
🚨︎ report
And for my next trick, I will dissapear!

Fuck you pear you taste like shit

πŸ‘︎ 30
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Icy9kills
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2019
🚨︎ report
what do you call a dog that can do magic tricks?

a labracadabrador

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2019
🚨︎ report
what do you call a dog that can do magic tricks?

a labracadabrador

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2019
🚨︎ report
Why don’t skeletons ever go trick or treating?

Because they have nobody to go with.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2019
🚨︎ report
what do you call a dog that can do magic tricks?

a labracadabrador

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2019
🚨︎ report
what do you call a dog that can do magic tricks?

a labracadabrador

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2019
🚨︎ report

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