So there’s this Spanish magician. His main trick was performing a spectacular vanishing act. He said that he’d vanish on the count of three. β€œUno” β€œDos”

And then he vanished, without a tres.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 56
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/cookiesncream6969
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 14 2020
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What do you call a dog that can do magic tricks?

A Labracadabrador

πŸ‘οΈŽ 704
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/D3V1L420
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 30 2020
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It's halloween and not a single kid came to my house trick or treating...

...that only happens once in a blue moon.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ewouldblock
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 01 2020
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Why don’t skeletons go trick or treating?

Because they have no body to go with...

πŸ‘οΈŽ 908
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/TheMaskedCrisis
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 12 2020
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For my next trick I will disappear,

Fuck you pear you taste like shit.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 26
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Titan407
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 03 2020
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Scientists have discovered the trick STIs use to spread in Alabama

Mum-to-sis

If this isn't original then I seriously spent a whole 20 mins on nothing

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/kayserchan13
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 04 2020
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I saw a magic trick performed at synagogue

Silly Rabbi, tricks are for kids

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/hotsprings1234
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 06 2020
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I'm going to show you a magic trick and make two bras out of thin air

Abracadabra

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/yogeshbiebz
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 08 2020
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my party trick is swallowing two pieces of string and an hour later they come out of my arse tied together....

i shit you knot!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 12
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/mznalouise22
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 07 2020
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I have a party trick

I swallow 2 pieces of string, after they've passed through my body they come out joined together. I sh*t you knot.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 39
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/MuttonChopzzz
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 27 2020
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There's an easy trick you can use to calculate your IQ

It's 150 minus the number of toilet rolls you have at home

πŸ‘οΈŽ 47
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 25 2020
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A Spanish magician prepares the audience for his final trick...

He yells "UNO!"

The crowd falls silent in anticipation.

"DOS!"

Everyone's eyes are wide, laser focused on the preformer.

Then, the magician vanishes... without a tres.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 12
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ChewyNutCluster
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 25 2020
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What's Bruno Mars favorite vegetable trick?

24 carrot magic

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Rocks_D_Ririck
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 03 2020
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I've been teaching my dog a new trick

Now she can fart on my wife's pillow

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Slymood
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 27 2020
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A white-tail keeps showing up at our house doing tricks, trying to impress us to get food...

It's endeering.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 30 2020
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What did the Spanish speaking magician say right before he performed his vanaishing trick?

"Uno, dos..."

And then POOF! He disappeared.

Without a tres.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 411
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/finestjuggler
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 26 2019
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Remember, you can't teach an old dog new tricks

But you can teach old people dog tricks.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Dr_Phan_Tastic
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 13 2020
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The trick is working it into a conversation
πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/slightly_lisdexic
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 18 2020
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Trick or Treat
πŸ‘οΈŽ 26
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/therealjameswood
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 31 2019
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What do you call magic tricks performed by dads?

Patrick

πŸ‘οΈŽ 13
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/invisible_being
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 22 2020
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Tonight, I'm going trick-or-treating with the same costume I had from last year

All my neighbors are going to get a case of dΓ©jΓ  BOO.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 15
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/WHOmagoo
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 31 2019
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What do you call sausages trick or treating?

Halloweiners

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/mrdangwangpang
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 01 2019
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How do you trick your kids into giving you more fries?

Tell them that eating too much will fry their brains.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/D3LTA-X
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 24 2020
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People always ask where I learned my impressive vape tricks.

I studied at Juuliard.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 12
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/-wao
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 06 2020
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A Hat Trick of Patricks

A while ago a friend was telling me how they named their bike Patrick and that their previous bike was the same color and also named Patrick. I replied "Cool. So if you get one more you'll have a Pat Trick."

(β€’_,β€’)

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/gravi-tea
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 31 2019
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Why did the trick or treater throw out their left twix bar?

It didn't taste right

πŸ‘οΈŽ 19
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/hotsprings1234
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 02 2019
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What a mind blowing trick!
πŸ‘οΈŽ 69
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Zach2072
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 21 2019
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Spiderbro has a trick
πŸ‘οΈŽ 55
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/IllArgueWithAnyone
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 05 2019
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I showed a mime a magic trick.

He was speechless

πŸ‘οΈŽ 38
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/fartfacepooper
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 09 2019
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I bought a book of magic tricks. It’s badly written and none of the tricks work.

I guess the magician writer didn’t use spell check.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Trtlman
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 18 2019
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Ladies! Destroy the patriarchy with this one simple trick!

Next time a man tells you to make him a sandwich, just say "Poof! You're a sandwich!"

Patriarchy can only be destroyed with dad jokes.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 13
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/RogerStormzy
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 16 2019
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FDA releases a new warning for black licorice this trick or treat season.

"It tastes like shit"

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/karmisson
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 17 2019
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Why did the magician fail in his exam of magic tricks?

Because trick questions were asked in the exam.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/pabesh17
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 02 2019
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What do you call a dog that does magic tricks?

A Labracadabrador.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 22
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/God_Smith82
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 13 2020
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What do you call a dog that can do magic tricks?

Trixie

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/bardbelle
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 01 2020
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What do you call a dog that does magic tricks?

A Labracadabrador.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/God_Smith82
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 13 2020
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what do you call a dog that can do magic tricks?

a labracadabrador

πŸ‘οΈŽ 205
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 16 2019
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For my next trick,I will disappear.

"Fuck you,pear. You taste like shit."

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4k
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Mudpucket1969
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 16 2018
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And for my next trick, I will disappear

Fuck you pear, you taste like shit!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/adyeardley
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 14 2020
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Why do skeletons never go trick or treating?

Because they have no body to go with

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/AnthonyTheBg
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 27 2020
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Why don’t skeletons ever go trick or treating?

Because they have nobody to go with.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 14 2019
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And for my next trick, I will dissapear!

Fuck you pear you taste like shit

πŸ‘οΈŽ 30
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Icy9kills
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 20 2019
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what do you call a dog that can do magic tricks?

a labracadabrador

πŸ‘οΈŽ 18
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 25 2019
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what do you call a dog that can do magic tricks?

a labracadabrador

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 03 2019
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Why don’t skeletons ever go trick or treating?

Because they have nobody to go with.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 18 2019
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what do you call a dog that can do magic tricks?

a labracadabrador

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 03 2019
🚨︎ report
what do you call a dog that can do magic tricks?

a labracadabrador

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 31 2019
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