I was the best camera man they ever had.
It was then I realized, she wasn't my type.
But it was just too OTT.
Apparently he was sending a bunch of Spam Mail.
but I just wasn't suited for it...mainly because it was a sew-sew job.
I guess he's put his foot down.
Me, to my two boys: "Hazel tried to escape, but I captured her."
Boy 1: (pronunciation) "cap- CHURR!"
Boy 2: "Or... You CAT-tured her!"
He replied confused and worried, "How does that work? Your education is on the line!"
Adult lessons (adolescence)
Iβm more of a so-sopath.
Iβll leave out the negative jokes here.
Only the positive ones!
You can tri to stop me,
Adding these together just makes it so much better.
We may be divided because of this,
But not all jokes are made equal,
But y=Mx+b jokes are great, yet at some point we have to draw a line. Itβs an especially slippery slope to go down.
She said, "Cats. They check all my boxes." We let that sink in before we both started laughing.
And left
the joke just left me scratching my head.
The Radish
I had to quit, there was just too much up in the air at the time
He said, βI hope heβs having a better luck than I am.β
but he couldn't pass the bar.
So my family and I were at a restaurant and my mom wanted a photo of us. She asked a waiter if we could take a picture, and after the waiter said yes, my dad said "we'll take this one" and pointed at a photo on the wall...
His jokes were terrible but his delivery was spectacular.
We have a lot in common
In America Iβm Frank, and in Europe Iβm Earnest!
6 couldn't believe it. 7 had finally gone off the deep end. 7 had long offended 6. A repeat 6 offender if you will. But this was unforgivable. 9 was his best friend. How could he do this to his best friend? How could it be that 7 ate 9?
6, filled with fury, called his friends 2 and 4. They would get even. 10 was the best friend of 7 you see. 2, 4 and 6 ate 10 to get even. They then began plotting further revenge, but 7 acted first. He gathered 1, 3 and 5 together to take down 6.
Realizing that the odds were against them, 2, 4 and 6 retreated. Their only option was to turn to 12 who had twice the resources 6 had. 7 couldn't follow.
12 quickly called 3 to find out what the root of 7's attack on 9. 3 wasn't sure. He had only supported 7 because of a long standing friendship. But 3 promised to get to the root cause.
Meanwhile, 7's scheming was not yet done. 12 was powerful, but there was one who could reverse his decision to harbor 6. If he could just convince 21, nicknamed blackjack, to reverse 12's decision, it would all be over.
Three times 7 went to 21's compound. On the third try he was able to get through. After explaining that 6 had masterminded the elimination of 10, a grand meeting of the numbers was called.
Both 6 and 7 argued over the whole thing. 13 had the unlucky task of adjudicating the meeting. Each time 13 made an argument, 6 and 7 would add to it by shouting over each other.
Finally, 21 had had enough. "7, why did you eat 9"
7 responded "I just wanted to get 3 square meals." 21 had 7 eliminated for initiating the battle and 6 jailed for masterminding 10's death. And the war was over.
Good man. Got electrocuted every day though.
He was a psycho therapist
An ice pop.
The dad joke is strong with this 8 year old.
In a freak accident today,a photographer was killed when a huge lump of cheddar landed on him. To be fair,the people who were being photographed did try to warn him.
But that's just witchful thinking.
It just goes right through you.
I just can't find any bacon seeds
Me: That canβt be comfortable. Try a chair instead.
Iβm more of a so-so path.
Eh, it was a sew-sew job.
