In very early last year, I had the last "ons" of an on-and-off relationship that happened through a couple years.

It was something that always followed the same patterns, to the point its simpler to organize on topics:

• We would start talking

• He would show interest, but never directly

• At first I would be hesitant, then he would start putting himself down incessantly, then I'd try to calm him down, and eventually I'd give in and get with him again

• Things would be fine like a normal relationship for a couple weeks at most

• He would then ignore me (sometimes with a cold period before, sometimes just suddenly ignoring), while I'd make some attempts to continue talking

• Eventually he would talk to me again in a super exaggerated way, things would be okay for a couple days, then ignore me again

• Each time that cycle [he talks with a lot of interest - things are normal - he starts ignoring me] happened, the "talking with a lot of interest" phase would gradually include him insulting me (saying I'm crazy, insane, a weirdo, etc.) or suggesting that I had to entertain him (as magically guess what he wanted me to talk about) or he would feel like ignoring again.

• There was also that he would often deny clear stuff. I'd say "but you're being cold again" because every answer was a 5 letter word at most, but he would deny. I'd tell him to just end stuff if he didnt like me anymore but he would insist that he still did (also forcing me to be the one ending things every time). There was even the point he was talking 24/7 with another girl while ignoring me but he would say he didn't have any interest in her, even though he was being flirty with her.

• Last time I talked to him just to get an indirect closure (didnt have any interest in him anymore but wanted to check to which extent his emotional game with me had gone) and found out he was EXTREMELY manipulative towards me. He basically admitted that every time I was backing down from the relationship he would purposefully victimize himself or make himself look pitiful so I wouldnt have the guts to leave. He only told me about one episode when that happened, but in all of them his attitude was the same.

It was a very difficult phase for me because there was always a chance I'd "start doing things right" in a way that he wouldnt feel like ignoring me anymore.

However, obviously nothing in that thing was rational or logical, and it was obvious there was no future, so I always felt very dumb for tryin

Title about says it. My longest previous relationship (2-3 years, started when I was 18/he was 17) was pretty much under constant fire from my then-boyfriend’s mother, who blamed me for his queerness and abused him constantly. She never actually came after me directly; but I overheard a lot of screaming and general evil. I spent a lot of time picking up the pieces. It ultimately drove him to attempt suicide multiple times, the relationship eventually crumbled, and he left me. (He did survive, and we’re still friends, but he’s never been able to be in a relationship since.)

Life goes on. That was a long time ago now. I’ve been in a few relationships since, but none that lasted especially long. Looking back, the parents always either weren’t in the picture or the relationship ended before it was time for me to meet them.

Well, I’m in a relationship now that just might be the long haul. I hope so. My partner’s name is Jesse, they are non-binary but perceived as male, and our relationship is obviously queer. We started sort-of-dating last November, actually dating in January, and just moved in together this month. (Fast, I know. Wish us luck.) Luck would have it, Jesse’s mom (Lorena) is super nice and they actually have a good relationship, though she lives about four hours away. We’ve met a few times now and she seems to like me. Our interactions are friendly enough, I do feel tense though.

I wouldn’t say I get a pit in my stomach or anything so dramatic when I know we’re getting a visit, but I never feel happy or excited, more like . . . bracing? It’s a thing I have to get through, I don’t feel relaxed at all. I don’t feel this way about Jesse’s dad though, who I enjoyed being around pretty much right away. (Perhaps notably, my ex-boyfriend’s dad was also a shitheel but mostly in a neglectful way; I disliked the dude but never felt like he was coming after us.)

But it’s taken me until the last couple days to make the connection. Lorena’s coming for an overnight visit tomorrow, which was initially planned for a couple weeks ago. (COVID risks calculated.) First visit since we moved in together, first time she’s been to “my” place. I’ve become flustered enough by this that, over the last few days, I’ve started seriously considered going somewhere else for the night. Wasn’t until that thought solidified and I realized how goofy it was that I realized I had a problem on my hands.

So, what to do? I’ve decided not to ask her not to come, as that wouldn’t rea

My husband and I have been married for almost 14 years, together for 17 years. A little of my back story is he would love bomb me in the biggest way possible, during these times I was so proud of him because I thought he was becoming the person I have always know him to be. Thoughtful, kind, caring. Next, it always starts with a small fight. And no matter what I say the answer is never good enough, and I ask him what he wants and he never gives a straight answer. The fight always becomes bigger and bigger until I can no longer think and I feel like I am losing control over myself. Last comes the punishment.

This time he started an emotional affair with what I thought was my friend. For weeks I told him I was uncomfortable with what was happening, he just kept saying they are just friends. She left her 10 years finance and less then a week later he picks a fight. It has been 17 days since he has left the house.

He says it is all my fault why he won't come home. I miss him with all of my heart and soul. I find myself having difficulties making it through my day. On those rare occasions that he does reach out, it is like a drug, I am on a high. I don't know where to go from here.

I know, I know... It's fucked up but for quite a while, I've had fantasies about me putting a cute girl through true mental/emotional agony for a while before changing and having her forgive all the pain and agony I put her through while she fall in love with me. I just feel like if someone were to be able to love someone after such events then it would show that the love is truly unconditional and wholehearted. It would show that the love was/is real and that there could be nothing that could taint that love.

I am probably looking at it with fairy tale shades but I can't stop having these fantasies/daydreams of scenarios where I really hurt a girl before we fall in love with each other. Some of these scenarios range from kidnapping, psychological manipulation/torture killing a loved one of theirs, cheating on them with another girl, committing a crime that forces her to choose sides, etc. In none of these fantasies do I physically hurt the girl. That would be crossing the line.

Is there any reason why I like these things? Am I like a control freak or something? Do I have like some psych issues? Either way I've accepted that this is something that I could never do as a lot of people don't have the type of love I am describing for SO's

I dont love him or even like him anymore but i feel like id die without him. How can i leave and still have the strength to take care of myself and my two year old son? I havent worked in six years and i dont have a car so it wont be easy getting on my feet even on a good day. Im terrified.

I've had trouble this whole time bonding with my 5 month old daughter, and I'm wondering how much of that comes from the birth. I still can't feel that she is my baby. I don't feel love for her yet. I think I feel fond of her now, and I feel protective of her, but it's not the love that other moms describe. I had a really difficult recovery as well, so it was my husband and my mom taking care of her for the first few months, and it just feels like she's this stranger that has taken all of my husband's time. I don't know, I just feel like I have so much disconnect with reality. What have been your experiences with bonding?

The Hard Truth about the Trauma Bond

^^^ This is an eye-opener. The narcissist retraumatizes us through our unresolved childhood trauma.

We have a childhood trauma, and this left us with tons of shame. This is why we become co-dependents.

[FANTASY. What we want] During the Love-Bombing stage, the narcissist becomes the perfect parental role figure in your life: attentive, validating, understanding, unconditional love, good listeners, caring, etc.

[PARENTAL UNIT FROM THE PAST] During conditioning, the narcissist becomes the parental unit from the past: selfish, immature, withholding love/affection/attention, rejecting, insecure.

And the pendulum swings from the Fantasy Parent <==> Parental Unit from the past (Back and Forth... Back and Forth). This is how Trauma Bond is created.

How can we abandon our "perfect" parent? We want her/him so badly.

What seems to be the solution to this dilemma/trauma? .... perhaps becoming aware of this and working on our childhood trauma.

One of my 10 month olds ate a hair elastic so his poop and behaviour needs to be monitored for the next 72 hours on vet’s orders. This means my other cat, his littermate and brother, has to be separated with his litter box too.

Having to separate them is killing me and it’s not even been one day😭 they whimper and cry almost all day from across the door. I can even hear them throw themselves against the door sometimes.

This sounds silly (I’m a first time pet owner), but can there be permanent damage from separating a bonded pair? I know it only has to be max 72 hours and it’s doctors orders for the pet’s health, but has anyone else had to experience this? What happened after? I feel so bad although my husband (veteran cat owner) says it will be fine.

I was wondering if you had any recommendations for books where the characters go through a traumatic experience together and thus bond/care deeply about each other/don't want to leave each other's side due to that?

I was looking for research papers on this phenomena "a child and a parent bond due to traumatic experience in the family due to an abusive parent/spouse". Is there a term defining this bond ? The bond is not sexual or does not have a sexual undertone. But is more "soulmate" type (verbatim quote of one of such individual) ; where the child and parents feel a lot of love and support for each other. The parent shares a lot of things (emotions, feelings etc with the child) . Now this relationship though beautiful , I feel tends to cross a lot of healthy boundary between a parent and a child. Any direction towards research papers or terms is highly appreciated.

I've noticed that modern parents in developed nations like to refer to ye olde times or to nature in order to justify their parenting decisions. Now, I am of the mind that as long as baby is safe and their needs are met, you can do whatever you want with them. But for those people who think their choices are superior because their are "how humans have raised babies in the past", perhaps a third world perspective will give you some food for thought.

I did not grow up in a third world country, but my family is from South Korea so these hot takes are based on the experiences of my parents and grandmother. Some of you might be wondering, "South Korea? Like where BTS is from? That's not a third world country!" But many don't realize that until the end of the 20th century, Korea was the most shit poor, abjectly miserable nation in the world. We were so poor that countries we now consider to be third world like India and Ethiopia came to our aid during the Korean War. So my family firsthand experienced a level of poverty so deep that you really only read about it in Charles Dickens novels these days. All this to say, if you're curious what motherhood looked like in the days before modern medicine, clean running water, birth control, electricity, etc., Korea before the 70's or so will be a great source.

ANYWAY, on to the hot takes:

Myth #1: Women's bodies are built for pregnancy/childbirth. Your body knows what it's doing! So go ahead and push out that baby in your bathtub with no doctors or nurses or midwives around! You go earth mama!

My grandmother gave birth to 11 children, all at home with no doctors. I'm not sure if she even stepped in a hospital before she turned 70. God knows how many miscarriages she must have had. She always told us that giving birth was like taking a dump. No big deal. HER body may have been built for childbirth. It's easy to look at her and assume that women were just made of tougher stuff back then. But you know what happened to all the women who couldn't handle pregnancy and childbirth? They died. Painfully. So all these women you see these days who have had traumatic or difficult experiences becoming mothers? They're not weak, they're just lucky enough to have survived to tell the tale.

Myth #2: Breastfeeding is totally natural and is therefore the only right way to feed your child.

You know what else is completely natural, organic, and gluten free? Starving to death. Which is exactly what babies used to do all the time befor

My f26 boyfriend's m30 dog has been sick lately. He took him to the Vet to get him looked at and run some tests and yesterday the Vet called us for a quick appointment to talk about the dog's condition.

We were told that he had cancer, my boyfriend didn't take it well, he did not even give the vet time to explain to us what was really going on he just had a break down.

We exited the office and next thing I knew he dropped on his knees sobbing, Literally sobbing. I was shocked because for one I know his dog is important to him, he had him for years and so I get this was a lot to take in and cancer is no joke, but what really bothered me was how he handled it. His knees were on the floor and he was sobbing loudly in the hallway making everyone notice. Ngl, as a woman I've never even sobbed like that, I felt embarrassed for both of us. I kept trying to get him to go to the car but he ignored me and kept sobbing.

I didn't say anything til later after we got home and he calmed down a bit and got some sleep. When he woke up I brought up what happened at the clininc and expressed how embarrassing what he did was, he looked at me shocked asking if I was serious and I replied that I didn't mean to seem insensitive but I really thought he should've got a better hold of his emotions and handled the news better but not sob in the middle of the hallway causing people to stop and stare. He lashed out at me calling me ridiculous and shallow to be worrying about what people think when he was dealing with a traumatic kind of news and trying to process it, I told him he overreacted because it wasn't like the dog had died and seeing him act this way worried me. He doubled down and lashed out again accusing me of implying that he has mental issues and was acting crazy but that wasn't what I meant. He told me to leave the room after we got further in the argument and today he's gone quiet.

I honestly felt like I probably should not have brought it up like that given his reaction but I didn't mean to seem insensitive.

AITA?

Editing this to say that my issue was never about him reacting like that just because he's a man, No, this isn't about that but it's about the way he reacted, I just did not think it was handled right, that's all.

And also, I do show support and the news was devastating to me too since I help take care of the dog and that bond is there even though it's his dog.

Thank you for your thread and all your helpful advice!

I'm due to give birth at the end of October and am able to work from home to avoid contact with anyone with the Coronavirus. Unfortunately, my partner is an elementary teacher and they are requiring that they go back to work at the end of august. Out of an abundance of safety, I will be quarantining with retired relatives for that time to reduce the risk of transmission while the baby is in utero. Unfortunately, one of my two dogs stresses out my relatives' dog and is not welcome in their home for the two month duration, although I may get permission to take the more friendly of the two. So my question is, how much duress would it put on these two dogs if I split them up for two months? They are eight years old and have never been apart and aside from 6 years ago when I had to board them for 3 months they haven't been separated from me either. I would want to keep them together under normal circumstances, but I'm trying to figure out what is least stressful for everyone involved. My partner will already be under a great deal of duress going back to work, so if only caring for one dog for two months will help and the dogs won't suffer too much damage if apart from each other I would like to offer that, but if it would cause severe anxiety or worse create reactive behavior I would keep them together. I've thought about boarding for the time, but the cost is outside of our budget.

Please let me know your thoughts. Thank you all for your service here!

I feel like no one else feels as numb as I do when they have a baby. Here's some background info.

I just had a baby girl. I was induced at 37 weeks because they thought she was at high risk because of her projected small size. Doctors diagnosed her as "Growth Restricted" and only in the 3rd percentile for other babies her age. They felt it was safe to get her here on the outside to make her grow quicker and to reduce the risk of being still born. All of that went well, except for the fact that being induced was much more traumatic than I had expected. I was planning to do natural birth and not get an epidural and all that, but nothing went as planned. Obviously, a healthy baby was the primary goal and concern, but I can't say that the way birth went didn't affect me emotionally because I think it did.

Before I was pregnant, I had always been afraid of babies. I never felt competent around them, never really liked them, and actually found the quite gross. But I knew I wanted a family, and picture a 4 or 6 year old didn't seem so bad. I'd imagine taking the "mini me" around with me on hikes, on runs, doing art projects together, making her breakfast and having her friends over. It's not that I didn't think I'd be a good parent, but the whole "baby stage" just always freaked me out. One of the biggest things I feared about the baby stage was a lack of bonding with my baby.

The whole pregnancy, even though it was planned, I feel like I was kind of avoidant. I didn't talk to her in utero and paid little attention to her punches and kicks. It's not that I didn't care about her or want her but I think it was just fear. I wasn't ready for her to come at 37 weeks, I really felt like I needed all of the time to process things as possible but that didn't happen. And like I said, it was for the better as far as safety goes.

Now here's where I'm at: My worst fear happened. I didn't bond and I still feel no "bond". Everyone told me I'd feel this overwhelming love and bond for my baby once I and her because of all the hormones and stuff that happen immediately after birth. But I felt nothing, just numb. Now she's home and I feed her and take care of her (and I do have a husband who's immensely helpful) but I still feel nothing but obligation to care for her. I care for her because I feel like I have to, not because I feel this overwhelming bond. I care for her because I love my husband so much I want to help him as much as I can. I haven't smiled once since I've

My Nex used the following story: She spent a lot of time alone when she was a little girl; and she was in her room watching TV alone all day. However, I found out later that she had "au pairs" so this might be another lie.

Everyone in her family rejected her. Her dad left when she was 3 years old. She says that she remembers how she used to spend time looking through the window waiting for her dad to return; but her dad was a drug addict and always failed to follow through with his promises. Then, her mom married again, and the step-father abused her sexually/or raped her when she was 10-12 years old. Her cousins, uncles, aunts, etc... didn't spend much time with her. But they did spend time with an older sister. Then, her mom got divorced again, and married a third husband. This last husband was very controlling and strict. Her last husband also left, and they got divorced. It seems to me that each marriage of her mom lasted only 5 to 7 years.

Then, when my Nex was an adolescent, she started smoking weed when she was 12, and became a drug addict around age 17 (doing all sorts of drugs), along with risky years of promiscuous behavior. She was sent to rehab when she was 22, and it took her months to detox.

My Nex used this story to perpetuate her role of "victim;" and manufacture guilt/pity (especially for empathetic people). Looking back, some parts of this story were true (like her mom marrying 3 times), but other parts are lies.

What traumatic story did your Nex use to make you feel guilt/compassion? and mislead you into the "rescuer/fixer" role?

So far, some common traumatic stories/behaviors to justify their abuse:

• PTSD, Bipolar disorder, Borderline personality disorder, mental illness or any psychological/psychiatric diagnoses such as depression, anxiety and ADHD.
• Childhood eternal victimhood: Sexual abuse, feeling disliked by family, being rejected, not having close friends, not having enough attention/Love/validation/support
• Everyone else is to blame for their actions, choices and problems
• Not being able to change since more drama is piled up on top of the chaos
• Finding always excuses to justify their abuse: projection
• Isolation, poverty, and having narcissistic parents
• Nobody taught them to regulate emotions, nobody loved them
• In the middle of so much trauma, they don't want to go to therapy
• Everyone leaves them alone, and yet everyone else is the problem
• They were bullied in school, and didn't fit anywhere
• All t

So ive been sitting on this for a few days and idk if it’s gonna be worth the fallout ir drama. My mother thinks i should just let it go because im not gonna get anywhere. Mt parents have been divorced for 20 years or so.

My aunt (my dad’s sister), every year with her Christmas card, writes us this family newsletter. Basically tiny articles with fin updates about her family. She has two kids of her own, grown as the youngest turned 21. This idea was actually my mom’s, she used to do this while we were growing up because she was a journalist major. My aunt actually used to mock her for it.

This aunt hasn’t personally spoken to me since my sister’s engagement like 8 years ago. A quick hi and bye at her wedding. Due to covid her family didn’t come to mine. Although they traveled the week before. I have never received a text or phone call from this aunt or anyone else in her family. Safe to say we aren’t close.

This October i welcomed my son. My first baby, first grandchild (to my mom and dad) and first great grandchild to my grandmother. It was definitely a rough delivery. Im a type 1 diabetic and my baby was in the NICU for 72 hours because of fluid in the lungs and blood sugar issues. I didn’t hold my child for 24 hours after they were born, and didn’t see him until 10 hours after because the spinal block needed to wear off/i needed to be able to stand and get into a wheelchair by myself (had a c-section). So yeah kinda a traumatic experience that has me attending some therapy and debating even having more kids as the blood sugar issues will be an issue with every baby i have. We sent a few photos to my grandmother and immediate family of the baby. Me holding in the NICU, when he was officially off ivs and monitors/was permanently in our room. A lot of pictures of me holding him then. Very nice ones without medical equipment or ivs in them.

After the baby was born again i heard nothing from this aunt. I did receive a letter (a post it note in an envelope) for my baby shower with a visa gift card. But other than that nothing.

Well opened up her family newsletter and the last article is about ME (her niece) giving birth to her brothers first grandchild and her mother’s first great grandchild. And giant picture of me holding my baby…in the NICU! Out of all the pictures sent she chose one where my baby has an umbilical cord vs, has monitors in the background. I look like absolute crap since this was the first time i both held and attempted to breastfeed my

Not even a cheer from the audience was caught by Soona's sensor. It had gone long since quite as the strained gurgles of the worm choked out. The hammer lodged in its broken rows of teeth.

O'plen and Soona found themselves able to do nothing as Demon trudged behind the worm, firmly grasped the gored mess of its exposed tail... and started swinging.

Its labored efforts to un-lodge the hammer were drowned out as violent hitting of bone armor crashing into rock sounded out. Followed by cracking, then the tenderizing of flesh.

The worm had long since died after the first ten swings, but Demon went for twenty. Then for thirty.

Soona knew no possible order she could give him that would stop his wrath. And she grew uneasy, sacred even as he continued.

ERRRRRR

The end match buzzer screeched out slapping all the contestants out their dazed states. Much to her relief, even demon stopped.

Seemingly broken from the chains of each aliens version of death, the crowd started moving around again and cheered behind the protective wall. Possibly even grateful for the barrier between them and Soona's beast.

As Soona really only just digested what happened the booming voice of the referee returned happier than ever.

"Beings and tentacles! We have ourselves a winner!" He shouted enthusiastically.

Continuing, "Soona the Bitumin and her bone beast-... excuse me what is his assigned name? You haven't placed it in the documents." He asked lowering his voice and zipping in front of her.

Looking back into the deep crimson of the camera, she stuttered "D-Demon."

Without missing a beat he said "And her bone beast Demon!"

Almost eating from the palm of his imaginary hands, the crowd went wild. Soona had never seen a crowd this excited for a warm up match. They were just meant to build up the tension later games would use the hype of.

If not stuck fifteen feet away from what they were cheering at, she too would possibly be excited. Impressed maybe.

But... she knew the truth. She had experienced it all first hand. The looks. The strange behavior. Fighting with not just using advanced tactics and tools to win, but all without her ordering it to do so.....

SOMETHING IS WRONG. Her inner core trembled as the bone beast inspected its injures as medical bots in similar look to the referee floated by to heal it. They told her to order it into passive mode so they could safely treat and bandage the foot wound, but she knew Demon wouldn't listen. Helplessly she told them it

Spoilers for both: Danganronpa V3, and Squid Game respectively.

To explain my title, let it be known that the following endings I'm about to explain to you guys are not technically that badly written, they're TECHNICALLY well written on a functional level, but the surrounding context makes me loathe them for different reasons.

When I see the ending of a story, I hope for something satisfying, no matter how happy or sad or otherwise the ending actually is. If it makes sense, is strong, and well written, I will probably like it.

However, something I loathe recently is this trend I've noticed over the past few years in media (though the concept has been around for far longer) is the rising prevalence of making the ending to such big dramatic storylines, often stories with an air of deeper intrigue and mystery to them (such as Danganronpa or Squid Game), some big special crazy thing. In mysteries, it's important to make a clever and cool ending that really caps off everything the fanbase may or may not have known, or if you have the talent for it, leave things up in the air to allow your fans to speculate for years to come!

Now, its one thing to truly make your ending awesome and revealing and special. However, there are some stories who think its a good idea to...how do we say, redistribute the ingredients in an attempt to be special? Lets say, for the sake of hypothesis, you have a new dish right? You have a VERY SPECIFIC list of instructions that you HAVE to do EXACTLY correct in THE EXACT ORDER it tells you to. Otherwise, the quality will VERY HEAVILY suffer. These endings are what happens when you decide to get quirky and do things different "to subvert expectations", you MIGHT be making a good ending still, but you just knee-capped another part of the meal, pray to God it still tastes good.

Now I know that was a LOT of filler, so here it is, the endings that put it all into perspective. THIS IS YOUR LAST CHANCE TO SCROLL AWAY IF YOU DON'T WANT SPOILERS!

We good?

Alright?

Good.

Squid Game's Twist Ending: Il-Nam was the billionaire behind the game.

God...this one really hurts me, it hurts me so much I don't know how to properly express my inner rage. Il-Nam was probably the most well done foreshadowing I've seen in a while. The cleverness of the writers, the excellent performance of Il-Nam's precious actor, it's VERY well done. But there's just one problem...he's the villain. He's the bad guy, he's the evil monster who gave almost false hope

Please tell me how we were all coerced into obeying so many non-sensical rules? Why do we now prefer to wear a dirty piece of cloth over our faces than breath clean air? Why do we no longer hug our friends and look at everyone with suspicion?

When did perfectly healthy people ever stay at home because they were afraid of catching the 'flu, getting double pneumonia, succumbing to some previously unknown 'co-morbidity' and dying? Never in my life-time, and I am old.

'Trauma bonding' is a psychological process whereby a victim becomes so attached to their oppressor that they now look to that perpetrator to relieve them from their suffering. The very same person (in this case, an entity - The Government) who is inflicting that suffering is vested with the power of bestowing some kind of relief. It will never happen!!

We must free ourselves.

Read - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Traumatic_bonding This is us. This is how we live now.

You can't stand at a bar, you have to sit, you can't order a drink without a dirty face-covering, but you can take off said covering to take a sip. Jesus, I hope they use some kind of industrial disinfectant to wash our gasses and wipe down that bar! I hope they use gloved hands to wash those glasses and while they're at it they should change clothes between customers because holy Hell, someone might catch something!

I walk into a restaurant and some person, who is not a doctor, interrogates me about my private medical history and then I have to prove my identity and my address and next I'll have to tell them if I've opened my bowels today or not. I don't have a smartphone, or a drivers license anymore for that matter. Eating out involves some kind of three step process just to get in the door and be served by some young punter who might be carrying active syphilis for all I bloody know. Why don't they have to prove anything to me, I'd like to know?

The Victorian Government created this mess and now they are in it too deep to ever relent. People succumbed willingly and they worship the mighty government, who is uncaring, incompetent and headed by someone who is quite likely delusional. They've perpetrated fear to such an extent that people can no longer make rational decisions on their own, they are mere shells of themselves and no doubt they will begin to turn on each other very soon.

The Hard Truth about the Trauma Bond

^^^ This is an eye-opener. The narcissist retraumatizes us through our unresolved childhood trauma.

We have a childhood trauma, and this left us with tons of shame. This is why we become co-dependents.

[FANTASY. What we want] During the Love-Bombing stage, the narcissist becomes the perfect parental role figure in your life: attentive, validating, understanding, unconditional love, good listeners, caring, etc.

[PARENTAL UNIT FROM THE PAST] During conditioning, the narcissist becomes the parental unit from the past: selfish, immature, withholding love/affection/attention, rejecting, insecure.

And the pendulum swings from the Fantasy Parent <==> Parental Unit from the past (Back and Forth... Back and Forth). This is how Trauma Bond is created.

How can we abandon our "perfect" parent? We want her/him so badly.

What seems to be the solution to this dilemma/trauma? .... perhaps becoming aware of this and working on our childhood trauma.

The Hard Truth about the Trauma Bond

^^^ This is an eye-opener. The narcissist retraumatizes us through our unresolved childhood trauma.

We have a childhood trauma, and this left us with tons of shame. This is why we become co-dependents.

[FANTASY. What we want] During the Love-Bombing stage, the narcissist becomes the perfect parental role figure in your life: attentive, validating, understanding, unconditional love, good listeners, caring, etc.

[PARENTAL UNIT FROM THE PAST] During conditioning, the narcissist becomes the parental unit from the past: selfish, immature, withholding love/affection/attention, rejecting, insecure.

And the pendulum swings from the Fantasy Parent <==> Parental Unit from the past (Back and Forth... Back and Forth). This is how Trauma Bond is created.

How can we abandon our "perfect" parent? We want her/him so badly.

What seems to be the solution to this dilemma/trauma? .... perhaps becoming aware of this and working on our childhood trauma.