To y Puns

He said, “I got back words!” How did I not see that one coming?

It's called Parking Son's disease.

Edit: Thanks for the gold, kind stranger.

He's okay now though, he quit cold turkey

it's irrelephant

'Na na na na nana na'".

Woke up to a message, on our family chalkboard, left by my 15 y.o. daughter.

"Mornings are no fun when you have to get up at six or earlier."

I replyed:

"That's why they call it mourning."

I can already hear her eyes rolling.

Dad! You're going to China?!?

Yup. Gotta go to Poo-ping.

closes bathroom door

Niece: Cuban food? Are we going to eat cubes?

And when we got there, I swear this happened, there was a pork dish on the menu that was described as fried pork cubes. She ordered it.

We were chatting with a couple of people in the backgarden when a random cat jumped into our garden. He seemed skiddish at first but after trying for a few minutes I got to pet it before it ran off. Walking back, my cousin exclaims: "How did you do that!?" To which I said: "Because I speak cat!". She looked confused for a second, then answered (she lives in Barcelona): "Oh, you speak catalonian too!?"

Maybe you guys won't laugh, but I was crying for 2 minutes straight.

Z backyard

...so I made a joke about an eye. It was cornea.

It's really starting to become a problem...I think I'll have to quit cold turkey.......

it's irrelephant