Tim Wilkerson Puns

This is the best lineup using players rostered in 5% of leagues or less according to Yahoo. I will do it with 0.5ppr scoring rules.

This team is available in between 82.34% and 95% of leagues and would've scored 115.58 points. The best unrostered team turned in the worst performance of the year on championship week. I hope none of you can relate to that. If you do, my condolences.

It is fitting on the lowest score of the year that Tim Boyle is at the helm. The film guru has been lackluster but the Sun God drug Boyle along to a top 12 finish.

It’s been awhile since we’ve had teammates at the RB position and it is sadder still that they combined for a measly 12.5 points. Leveon Bell and Ke’Shawn Vaughn both outscored Ronald Jones, who is awaiting MRI results. Vaughn was also hurt and Bell may be the last RB standing for Tampa’s final game

Kristian Wilkerson played in two games this year, playing only 6% and 5% of snaps in those and recording 0 targets. Of course he played 82% of snaps, and got 8 targets for a line of 4-42-2. The Patriots dunked on the Jags all day, producing 3 relevant WRs and 2 RBs, as well as Mac Jones being QB7 on the week.

Similarly, Cyril Grayson has played in only three games prior to this week. The difference being that he has actually produced in most games he has played. With Antonio Brown leaving the team mid game, this may be a glimpse into the future of the Bucs receiving group, at least until Evans is fully healed up.

Before the year started I was beating the drum for Anthony Firkser. That take proved incorrect but this is the second time he made the team.

Another wide receiver I’ve not heard of earned the flex spot, Antoine Wesley scored twice for the Cardinals on 57% of snaps. 5 targets is not too shabby and he may earn playing time as the Cards try to replace the injured Hopkins. Wesley scored 3 TDs in the last two weeks and could be a redzone threat going forward, at least as long as James Conner is out of the lineup, as he was the preferred goal line option prior to his injury.

The Falcons scored 8 points against the vaunted Buffalo Bills offense

Do your worst!

It really does, I swear!

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

They’re on standbi

Buenosdillas

Pilot on me!!

Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.

This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.

If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.

Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.

When I got home, they were still there.

What did 0 say to 8 ?

" Nice Belt "

So What did 3 say to 8 ?

" Hey, you two stop making out "

I won't be doing that today!

You take away their little brooms

This morning, my 4 year old daughter.

Daughter: I'm hungry

Me: nerves building, smile widening

Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.

She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.

Thank you all for listening.

There hasn't been a post all year!

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

Orioles (17-35) @ White Sox (31-20)

First Pitch: 1:10 PM at Guaranteed Rate Field

Pitcher Notes

Line Score - Game Over

Box Score

Why

It’s pronounced “Noel.”

After all his first name is No-vac

What, then, is Chinese rap?

Edit:

Notable mentions from the comments:

• Spanish/Swedish/Swiss/Serbian hits

• French/Finnish art

• Country/Canadian rap

• Chinese/Country/Canadian rock

• Turkish/Tunisian/Taiwanese rap

[Removed]

There hasn't been a single post this year!

(Happy 2022 from New Zealand)

Nothing, it just waved

Bob

So that I could frequently say, "I am going to walk 5 miles now."

Edit: My most popular post on Reddit! 😀 Thank you for the awards.

Just to clarify, 12345678

Me grabbing a soda from my (what I thought was) half full 12pk...

Notices there's only 2;

Me: "Awe man... This is a damn bird box!" Her: "What the hell does that mean?!" Me: (Pulls both cans out & shows them to her) "It's only got Toucans."

I'm not ashamed to admit the look on her face was glorious.