Though I Am Gone Puns

Today my wife and I decided to go to the store when she got home from work for stir-fry supplies. I hadn't gone anywhere all day, so I had to grab my shoes and socks. I guess I'd misplaced one of my tiny screwdrivers from my toolbag and it had ended up inside a shoe. It plopped out into my palm when I tried to shake out the shoe, which prompted me to turn to my wife and exclaim, "Phew! That was a close call! I almost really screwed up my foot!" She gave me a look that said 'I am way too tired to deal with this nonsense'. Stir-fry was fantastic, though.

So my mom had jsut gone to the store to get extra fine filter floss for the aquarium I am setting up for her. The conversation went like this:

Mom: "I saw this and thought it is what you meant. It's super-fine floss. Will this work?"

Me: "Yeah, that's fine" (mom rolls eyes)

Dad: "Well that's what she said zwhenry, it's fine. Will it work though?"

My mom left the room without another word while my dad and I were trying to contain our laughter.