It's weird being colorblind in an art gallery. Everything's a pigment of the imagination.
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︎ Feb 12 2021
After being holed up in the house due to Covid, my wife has started having this weird nightmare that our house is made of celery.
Doctors are calling it stalk home syndrome.
Edit: You folks are way too generous. Thanks a lot.
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︎ Oct 04 2020
My wife and I had this weird argument as to which vowel is the most important.
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︎ Jan 06 2021
The other day I said "woof" to a dog but he just gave me a weird look.
I guess my accent is a little ruff.
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︎ Sep 26 2020
People act really weird on the Metro
It must be a sub-culture...
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︎ Nov 05 2020
My wife has this weird OCD where she arranges the dinner plates by the year they were bought.
It is an extremely rare dish order.
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︎ Sep 18 2020
"I think I have a weird fetish for the end of an essay."
"How do you know that?"
"I just just came to that conclusion."
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︎ Jul 12 2020
The polar bear was acting weird at the zoo
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︎ Oct 14 2020
Something weird happened today. I went to talk to a friend, and he asked me to calculate arcsecant out of the blue.
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︎ Sep 25 2020
What did the black panther say when he saw someone doing something weird?
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︎ Jun 10 2020
They delivered materials for our new roof today. I looked out the window, confused. Said to my son, βhuh, thatβs weird. There are several pallets out there. He asked why thatβs weird.
I was just expecting a shingle pallet
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︎ Aug 04 2020
I saw a sign that said 'do not touch', however there was something weird about the sign....
I couldn't put my finger on it....
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︎ Jun 22 2019
Did you hear about the rapper that had a weird asphalt fetish?
He came from the streets.
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︎ Apr 10 2020
It's weird how nobody knew who the Iranian general Soleimani was a few days ago...
It's like he blew up overnight.
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︎ Jan 05 2020
My boss thought the spacing in my report was weird
But I felt it was justified
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︎ Feb 20 2020
A person asked me, "Aren't you the guy who brags about weird stuff?"
I replied, "No, Im the guy who takes the longest baths in the city".
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︎ Jun 25 2019
I like to sleep with the bedside lamp on, even though the wife reckons it's weird.
I don't see how, I think it makes a great hat.
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︎ May 18 2020
There was a line of people outside of the gym I workout at the other day. I found it quite weird as the line of people were paying money just to hit each other.
Guess you could call it a punchline.
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︎ Apr 17 2020
Ya know the weird thing about waiting for peace?
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︎ Mar 28 2020
Weird how that guy got the coronavirus
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︎ Feb 18 2020
My wife thinks itβs weird that I donβt miss the days when my kids were little and used to wake us up at night.
But I donβt lose any sleep over it.
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︎ Oct 13 2019
Having children is a lot like making pancakes. The first one is always a bit weird...
...but you can always just eat it when no one is looking.
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︎ Aug 09 2019
My son asked why the pony sounded so weird
I told him it was a little hoarse
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︎ Mar 15 2019
My friend has this weird addiction where he walks into a room and takes the batteries off all clocks.
He claims he can stop it at any time.
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︎ Jul 28 2018
My grandfather has this weird habit of naming all the fish he catches.
Yesterday he scaled Mount Everest.
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︎ Feb 07 2019
It's weird when I eat wheat, it gives me a huge headache But, if I get the wheat from someone else, I'm fine. It's just migraine.
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︎ Dec 04 2018
It always felt really weird to me how male authors are obsessed with the female body.
Always going on and on about their webbed feet and soft, insulated....
Oh wait, that's male otters
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︎ Jun 12 2019
The word change is such a weird word for money.
Why would someone coin a term that makes no cents.
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︎ Feb 26 2019
It's weird how everyone in the military skips leg day
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︎ Feb 01 2019
The ICU is weird
So many people look at you
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︎ Dec 19 2018
"Is it weird if I really like the mountains that separate Europe from Asia?"
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︎ Apr 12 2019
I was driving my German girlfriend around in my older banger, the heavy rain clattering against my windshield. As the journey went on, I realised that she has this really weird obsession with snakes.
She kept telling me that I need vipers.
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︎ Dec 30 2018
Itβs weird how direct sunlight heats up my car while the air outside is well below freezing.
The sun must be some kind of space heater.
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︎ Mar 02 2019
Fish school is weird. Turns out its not the smart fish that take debate.
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︎ Apr 01 2019
You know about the weird guy who did very few crunches at the gym?
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︎ Oct 08 2018
It's weird that the name Tony is common, but the name Fingerelbow isn't.
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︎ Jun 05 2017
My wife has this weird OCD where she arranges the dinner plates by the year it was bought.
It's an extremely rare dish order.
π︎ 44
π
︎ Sep 22 2020
My wife has this weird OCD where she arranges the dinner plates by the year they were bought.
Itβs an extremely rare dish order.
π︎ 81
π
︎ Jun 03 2020
My wife has this weird OCD where she arranges the dinner plates by the year they were bought.
Itβs an extremely rare dish order.
π︎ 19k
π
︎ Apr 30 2019
My wife has this weird OCD where she arranges the dinner plates by the year they were bought.
Itβs an extremely rare dish order.
π︎ 287
π
︎ Jan 27 2020
My wife has this weird OCD where she arranges the dinner plates by the year they were bought.
Itβs an extremely rare dish order.
π︎ 23
π
︎ Mar 30 2020
My wife has this weird case of OCD where she organizes the dinner plates according to the year we bought them.
Itβs an extremely rare dish order.
π︎ 545
π
︎ Jun 04 2018
My wife has this weird OCD where she arranges the dinner plates by the date they were bought.
Itβs an extremely rare dish order.
π︎ 191
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︎ Jan 23 2019
My wife has this weird OCD where she arranges the dinner plates by the year they were bought...
Itβs an extremely rare dish order...
π︎ 5
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︎ Oct 03 2019
Whenever my friend walks into a room, he has this weird habit of taking the batteries out of all the clocks.
He claims he can stop it at any time.
π︎ 4
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︎ Jul 15 2019
My wife has this weird OCD where she arranges the dinner plates in the order of the year they were bought.
Itβs an extremely rare dish order.
π︎ 5
π
︎ May 10 2019
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