My 8 year old nephew attended his first wedding. But his cousin had a question for his after the ceremony.
"Hey, how many women can a guy marry?"
"16!"
"How did you figure that out."
"Simple. I just listen to the minister and added them up: 4 better, 4 worse, 4 richer, 4 poorer. That's 16!
ποΈ 8
π
οΈ Mar 29 2021
Did you hear about the wedding of the two antennas?
The ceremony was so-so...but the reception was epic!!
ποΈ 4
π
οΈ Apr 17 2021
The wedding was so touching that
even the cake was in tiers.
Edit: Thank you so much guys! I never expected this to reach 10k upvotes! You guys truly made my day.
ποΈ 12k
π
οΈ Nov 01 2020
I went to a wedding where the bride was left at the altar
It went off without a hitch
ποΈ 9
π
οΈ Mar 20 2021
Why did the two melons have a church wedding?
ποΈ 81
π
οΈ Jan 08 2021
My wife emailed me our wedding photos, but I couldnβt open any of the files.
I always have trouble with emotional attachments.
ποΈ 13k
π
οΈ Aug 16 2020
I went to my best friend's wedding today. He is an awesome fisher. I like him a lot and always come with the finest catch.
But something is very fishy with his new betrouthed.
ποΈ 4
π
οΈ Feb 16 2021
What did the wedding cake say while it was cutting an onion?
ποΈ 9
π
οΈ Jan 19 2021
Iβm at wedding and Iβm very thirsty so I am walking all around the whole ballroom looking for something to drink.
I canβt find the punchline.
ποΈ 16
π
οΈ Jan 14 2021
What gift did the snakes get from their wedding registry?
ποΈ 8
π
οΈ Jan 12 2021
If James Hetfield officiated a wedding between Kermit the Frog and Miss Piggy.....
He would be the Pastor of Muppets
ποΈ 90
π
οΈ Oct 09 2020
Why couldnβt they serve communion wafers at the wedding reception?
ποΈ 5
π
οΈ Jan 09 2021
Two satellites decided to get married. The wedding wasn't much
But the reception was incredible.
ποΈ 16
π
οΈ Dec 05 2020
At his wedding, my buddy called me the worst best man he has ever seen.
ποΈ 37
π
οΈ Dec 07 2020
What did you think of the two antennasβ wedding?
The ceremony wasnβt much, but the reception was great!
ποΈ 3
π
οΈ Dec 25 2020
Why did the melons run away and get married instead of have a big church wedding like their parents wanted?
Because they could elope.
ποΈ 2
π
οΈ Dec 10 2020
The wedding went off without a hitch.
The groom stormed off and all the guests started fighting.
ποΈ 6
π
οΈ Nov 17 2020
My friend from Paris was the best man at the wedding of a Belgian waffle heir and a Swedish pancake tycoon, but wasnβt allowed to give a speech at the reception.
They knew heβd give a French toast, and they said it wasnβt worth the pain.
ποΈ 28
π
οΈ Sep 06 2020
The taylor at the local men's clothing shop kept trying to help me find wedding attire despite my wishes. He finally gave up and said
ποΈ 6
π
οΈ Sep 28 2020
What did the bird say at his wedding
ποΈ 3
π
οΈ Sep 09 2020
Why was the penguin late to his own wedding?
ποΈ 22
π
οΈ Aug 28 2020
Why were the melons forced to have a small wedding?
Because they cantaloupe.
Courtesy of me sick and loopy at the grocery store.
ποΈ 146
π
οΈ Mar 27 2020
Why do brides cry at the wedding ?
Because they never marry the best man !
ποΈ 48
π
οΈ Jun 30 2020
At my wedding, my wife's family got into a fight with each other, the police were called, and then they ran from the cops.
So now my in-laws are out-laws.
ποΈ 15
π
οΈ Jun 18 2020
What do you call the guys who sweep up after a wedding?
ποΈ 2
π
οΈ Sep 06 2020
[At the wedding] Priest: Repeat after me...
Groom: After me..
Priest, looking at bride: Is he serious?
Bride: No, his name is Mike.
ποΈ 5k
π
οΈ Mar 12 2019
People have been able to change their big weddings to smaller affairs during the pandemic. But melons don't have that luxury.
ποΈ 3
π
οΈ Aug 18 2020
What is the cookie's favorite dance at the wedding?
ποΈ 3
π
οΈ Aug 18 2020
The fiance and I were looking at frames for our wedding photos.
We couldn't settle between two of them. My wife couldn't take her eyes off the smaller one, but I wanted the larger one.
So, I told her, "Honey, you need to look at the bigger picture."
ποΈ 9
π
οΈ Jun 16 2020
I went to a cannibal wedding. The Groom toasted the bridesmaids, The best man toasted the Bride and Groom and the father of the Bride toasted absent friends.....
It was one hell of a barbecue.
ποΈ 137
π
οΈ Jan 12 2020
Why did the groomsman bring chicken to the wedding?
Because he was the breast man
ποΈ 3
π
οΈ Apr 09 2020
"I'd like to have a toast" said the father-in-law at his daughters wedding
"Add some jam on it," he continued
(Smh this wasn't appreciated enough at r/jokes)
ποΈ 977
π
οΈ Mar 24 2019
Why does the melon have to have a big traditional wedding?
ποΈ 2
π
οΈ May 31 2020
Why did the melons have such an expensive wedding?
..because they cant-elope
ποΈ 8
π
οΈ Apr 26 2020
The most emotional part of my wedding wasn't the vows or the speeches - it was getting cake smashed in my face.
Really brought a tier to my eye.
ποΈ 6
π
οΈ May 01 2020
Why did the melon want an expensive wedding?
Because he was a cantelope.
ποΈ 3
π
οΈ May 01 2020
My grandfather has a funny story he likes to tell people about how a long time ago he swallowed his wedding ring and then it came out 10 years later. I've heard him tell it many times over the years.
ποΈ 209
π
οΈ Jun 27 2019
Ok guys. Time to rally together to help a fellow new dad out. Iβm MCing a wedding and need the worst of the worst wedding themed dad jokes you have to offer.
Sorry Iβm advance if this isnβt allowed.
ποΈ 4
π
οΈ Nov 04 2019
My lesbian friends wanted a Full House themed wedding, but the priest refused.
He didnβt want to marry Kate and Ashley.
ποΈ 2
π
οΈ Apr 15 2020
My wife emailed me pictures of our wedding, but I couldnβt open any of the files.
I always have trouble with emotional attachments.
ποΈ 120
π
οΈ Nov 13 2020
The wedding vows were so touching...
Even the cake was in tiers.
(Obligatory cake day joke.)
ποΈ 42
π
οΈ Sep 25 2020
My wife emailed me our wedding photos, but I canβt seem to open any of the files.
I always have trouble with emotional attachments.
ποΈ 417
π
οΈ Jul 11 2020
During his wedding, my friend told me that I was the worst best man he has ever seen.
ποΈ 5
π
οΈ Aug 22 2020
My wife emailed me our wedding photos, but I couldnβt open any of the files.
I always have trouble with emotional attachments.
ποΈ 11
π
οΈ Apr 06 2020
At his wedding, my friend called me the worst best man heβs ever seen.
ποΈ 50
π
οΈ Nov 23 2019
I was at my son's wedding the other day
It was very emotional - even the wedding cake was in tiers!
ποΈ 15
π
οΈ Mar 10 2020
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