My 8 year old nephew attended his first wedding. But his cousin had a question for his after the ceremony.

"Hey, how many women can a guy marry?"

"16!"

"How did you figure that out."

"Simple. I just listen to the minister and added them up: 4 better, 4 worse, 4 richer, 4 poorer. That's 16!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/lodiman77
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 29 2021
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Did you hear about the wedding of the two antennas?

The ceremony was so-so...but the reception was epic!!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/pr140391
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 17 2021
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The wedding was so touching that

even the cake was in tiers.

Edit: Thank you so much guys! I never expected this to reach 10k upvotes! You guys truly made my day.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 12k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/anoobypro
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 01 2020
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I went to a wedding where the bride was left at the altar

It went off without a hitch

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Pudenator
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 20 2021
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Why did the two melons have a church wedding?

Because they cantaloupe.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 81
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Lovina9
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 08 2021
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My wife emailed me our wedding photos, but I couldn’t open any of the files.

I always have trouble with emotional attachments.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 13k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 16 2020
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I went to my best friend's wedding today. He is an awesome fisher. I like him a lot and always come with the finest catch.

But something is very fishy with his new betrouthed.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Bloodoolf
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 16 2021
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What did the wedding cake say while it was cutting an onion?

I'm in tiers!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/DadJokeBadJoke
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 19 2021
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I’m at wedding and I’m very thirsty so I am walking all around the whole ballroom looking for something to drink.

I can’t find the punchline.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 16
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/crispycrunchybunches
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 14 2021
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What gift did the snakes get from their wedding registry?

Hiss and her bath towels

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/jstockmoe
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 12 2021
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If James Hetfield officiated a wedding between Kermit the Frog and Miss Piggy.....

He would be the Pastor of Muppets

πŸ‘οΈŽ 90
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/proweld7
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 09 2020
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Why couldn’t they serve communion wafers at the wedding reception?

It was a no host bar.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/sparklingbeatnik
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 09 2021
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Two satellites decided to get married. The wedding wasn't much

But the reception was incredible.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 16
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/lolyfe-dc
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 05 2020
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At his wedding, my buddy called me the worst best man he has ever seen.

I was speechless.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 37
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 07 2020
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What did you think of the two antennas’ wedding?

The ceremony wasn’t much, but the reception was great!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ballsquancher
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 25 2020
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Why did the melons run away and get married instead of have a big church wedding like their parents wanted?

Because they could elope.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/bunsofsteel_MRI_boy
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 10 2020
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The wedding went off without a hitch.

The groom stormed off and all the guests started fighting.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/RootBoy42
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 17 2020
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My friend from Paris was the best man at the wedding of a Belgian waffle heir and a Swedish pancake tycoon, but wasn’t allowed to give a speech at the reception.

They knew he’d give a French toast, and they said it wasn’t worth the pain.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 28
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/i-kant_even
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 06 2020
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The taylor at the local men's clothing shop kept trying to help me find wedding attire despite my wishes. He finally gave up and said

Suit yourself

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/diceblue
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 28 2020
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What did the bird say at his wedding

I'll wing it

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/gary_mood
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 09 2020
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Why was the penguin late to his own wedding?

He had cold feet.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 22
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/lfantine
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 28 2020
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Why were the melons forced to have a small wedding?

Because they cantaloupe.

Courtesy of me sick and loopy at the grocery store.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 146
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/drdoggomd
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 27 2020
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Why do brides cry at the wedding ?

Because they never marry the best man !

πŸ‘οΈŽ 48
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/The_lord_of_the_nuts
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 30 2020
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At my wedding, my wife's family got into a fight with each other, the police were called, and then they ran from the cops.

So now my in-laws are out-laws.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 15
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/salawm
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 18 2020
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What do you call the guys who sweep up after a wedding?

The Broomsmen

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/kdog5723
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 06 2020
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[At the wedding] Priest: Repeat after me...

Groom: After me..

Priest, looking at bride: Is he serious?

Bride: No, his name is Mike.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 12 2019
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People have been able to change their big weddings to smaller affairs during the pandemic. But melons don't have that luxury.

They cantaloupe.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/AlwaysTheNoob
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 18 2020
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What is the cookie's favorite dance at the wedding?

The Macaroon-a!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Sir_Pluses
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 18 2020
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The fiance and I were looking at frames for our wedding photos.

We couldn't settle between two of them. My wife couldn't take her eyes off the smaller one, but I wanted the larger one.

So, I told her, "Honey, you need to look at the bigger picture."

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/BigMartin58
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 16 2020
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I went to a cannibal wedding. The Groom toasted the bridesmaids, The best man toasted the Bride and Groom and the father of the Bride toasted absent friends.....

It was one hell of a barbecue.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 137
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/cwwspurs
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 12 2020
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Why did the groomsman bring chicken to the wedding?

Because he was the breast man

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/hotsprings1234
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 09 2020
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"I'd like to have a toast" said the father-in-law at his daughters wedding

"Add some jam on it," he continued

(Smh this wasn't appreciated enough at r/jokes)

πŸ‘οΈŽ 977
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/QueenKyoko
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 24 2019
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Why does the melon have to have a big traditional wedding?

Because it Cantaloupe.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Lunkz3n
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 31 2020
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Why did the melons have such an expensive wedding?

..because they cant-elope

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/thsebrightlights
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 26 2020
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The most emotional part of my wedding wasn't the vows or the speeches - it was getting cake smashed in my face.

Really brought a tier to my eye.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/AlwaysTheNoob
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 01 2020
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Why did the melon want an expensive wedding?

Because he was a cantelope.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/snuggeybug
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 01 2020
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My grandfather has a funny story he likes to tell people about how a long time ago he swallowed his wedding ring and then it came out 10 years later. I've heard him tell it many times over the years.

It's old butt gold.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 209
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/byebyebyecycle
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 27 2019
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Ok guys. Time to rally together to help a fellow new dad out. I’m MCing a wedding and need the worst of the worst wedding themed dad jokes you have to offer.

Sorry I’m advance if this isn’t allowed.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Derkus19
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 04 2019
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My lesbian friends wanted a Full House themed wedding, but the priest refused.

He didn’t want to marry Kate and Ashley.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 15 2020
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My wife emailed me pictures of our wedding, but I couldn’t open any of the files.

I always have trouble with emotional attachments.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 120
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 13 2020
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The wedding vows were so touching...

Even the cake was in tiers.

(Obligatory cake day joke.)

πŸ‘οΈŽ 42
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ChillWisdom
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 25 2020
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My wife emailed me our wedding photos, but I can’t seem to open any of the files.

I always have trouble with emotional attachments.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 417
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 11 2020
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During his wedding, my friend told me that I was the worst best man he has ever seen.

I was speechless.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 22 2020
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My wife emailed me our wedding photos, but I couldn’t open any of the files.

I always have trouble with emotional attachments.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 11
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 06 2020
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At his wedding, my friend called me the worst best man he’s ever seen.

I was speechless.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 50
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 23 2019
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I was at my son's wedding the other day

It was very emotional - even the wedding cake was in tiers!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 15
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/_The_Mattmatician
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 10 2020
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