My wife never saw it coming...

I got my wife with a rather unexpected dad joke last night.

I generally don't like surprises, with only a few exceptions. Last night, I come into the bedroom and she is wearing a white corset, matching panties, knee high socks, and high heels.

She asks "Is this the kind of surprise you might like?"

I respond with a big dumb grin on my face, "Of 'corset' is!"

It almost cost me a fun night, but it was worth it.

πŸ‘︎ 2k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/blackdragon8577
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2014
🚨︎ report
Giving my one year old boy a shoulder ride when I lifted him up and put him on my head...

Turned to the wife and said "Do you like what I'm wearing?" (Lulling her into a false sense of security)
She smiles at me, blissfully unaware of my setup and thinking I'm just being cute.
"It's a son-hat." I say with a grin.
The groan she gave me told me I had done well.

πŸ‘︎ 430
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2016
🚨︎ report
My Dad was buying us snacks at Disneyland...

It was raining heavily, we were all wearing our ponchos, and my Dad was grabbing some snacks at one of those stands. The cashier informed him of the total amount due, and with a credit card in his hand he asked, "do you take plastic?" The cashier responded with a "yes" and he proceeded to hand her part of his poncho. He looked towards us with a massive grin as the cashier stood perplexed. He looked more proud of himself than I've ever seen him!

πŸ‘︎ 26
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/nietzscheman
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2016
🚨︎ report
He knows how to clean out a room.

My mum complained that my dad took a photo of her, whilst she was wearing her "kitchen cleaning glasses" as they look bad. I sarcastically offer to get her car cleaning glasses instead as they're clearly more fashionable.

My dad on the other hand stands there with his fake concerned/confused. When i ask what's wrong, he asks with a smug grin on his face "Why would you use glasses to clean the kitchen? Surely a mop or cloth would be more practical".

We all left the room.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DanJayTay
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2014
🚨︎ report
Do you know how many people are dead in that cemetery?

All of them.

Dad told this to me while passing a cemetery with the stupid shit eating grin he wears whenever he tells his god awful jokes.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/troyboltonislife
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2015
🚨︎ report
My Dad was buying us snacks at Disneyland...

It was raining heavily, we were all wearing our ponchos, and my Dad was grabbing some snacks at one of those stands. The cashier informed him of the total amount due, and with a credit card in his hand he asked, "do you take plastic?" The cashier responded with a "yes" and he proceeded to hand her part of his poncho. He looked towards us with a massive grin as the cashier stood perplexed. He looked more proud of himself than I've ever seen him!

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/nietzscheman
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2016
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.