The Watsons Puns

if not, Who is

Apparently something was afoot.

" You know my method. It's founded upon the observation of Trifles. "

“Ah yes, Sherlock fancies himself quite the chef. You really must come visit us for dinner Friday at old 221B! There’s no place like Holmes’ for the hollandaise!”

She didn't think it was very Christmassy until I sang that "I'll be Holmes for Christmas..."

Sherlock says look up watson, what do you see? Wayson says, stars. Dedeuce says sherlock. Well therer's millions of them replies watson. deduece further demands sherlock! well a lot of them are galaxies, and if I do the math, there must be life around least one of them, replies watson.

And more asks sherlock?

Well if there is life around at least one star, it stands to reason that there is intelligence up there, says watson.

That's great replies sherlock, but you never noticed that someone has stolen our fucking tent.

My wife and I purchased a car last night and since she would be using the car the most, I said she could name it. It is a VW Passat station wagon.

She decided on "Watson the Wagon" as she is a huge Sherlock Holmes enthusiast.

This afternoon she said, "If the A/C goes out in the car you can say 'It's a bit warm in here Watson'".

After a good dinner and a bottle of wine, they retire for the night, and go to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes wakes up and nudges his faithful friend.

"Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."

"I see millions and millions of stars, Holmes," replies Watson.

"And what do you deduce from that?"

Watson ponders for a minute.

"Well, astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful, and that we are a small and insignificant part of the universe. What does it tell you, Holmes?"

Holmes is silent for a moment. "Watson, you idiot!" he says. "Someone has stolen our tent!"

Holmes noticed that Watson was looking a bit sick for a few days.

"What's wrong, Watson?", he asked. "You seem a bit down."

"Nothing, Holmes. Just having some stomach problems." Watson said. "Constipation, you know. I've suffered for a while."

"Constipation? So you have trouble answering the, ahem, nature's call?" Holmes asked.

"No shit, Sherlock."

Holmes and Watson, investigating a crime, entered a bedroom. Holmes looks and the bed, backs up and says, "There's something wrong with this."

Holmes and Watson are about to go out on an investigation. Before leaving, Watson says he needs to use the restroom. He goes in and 5 minutes pass, 10 minutes pass, 15 minutes pass. Finally Holmes goes to the door and asks if he's feeling constipated. Watson replies, "Yeah, no shit Sherlock!"

Sherlock inspects the body and notes that the man doesn't have anything covering his top. Watson looks at Sherlock and says "Yeah, no shirt, Sherlock!"

If Emma Watson will have a son and she won't change her last name, I hope this conversation will happen some day between the child and the parent:

> Son: Hey, dad?

> Father: Watson?

While preparing for our roadtrip to the Grand Canyon, my dad was asking everyone (my mom, brother, and I) if we needed to go to the bathroom before we leave. I was around 8 years old at the time, my brother was 5. I had some massive gas that day and my dad took note of it.

I said, "Dad, I don't need to go to the bathroom."

"RhinoWatson, yes you do. You know a fart is just a poo screaming to get out."

then Who is.

...Then Who is.

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Then Who is.

then Who is

He asks Watson what the problem is.

Watson replies: "No shit, Sherlock!"

Holmes and Watson are about to go out on an investigation. Before leaving, Watson says he needs to use the restroom. He goes in and 5 minutes pass, 10 minutes pass, 15 minutes pass. Finally Holmes goes to the door and asks if he's feeling constipated. Watson replies, "Yeah, no shit Sherlock!"