I was walking down the street where the houses were numbered, 64k, 128k, 256k, 512k, and 1MB.
That was a trip down memory lane.
I was walking by a criminally insane asylum in Mexico, one of the inmates in the yard had on a train conductor hat.
The gaurd said he had a loco motive.
If I see you walking out of the store with an orange wedge of cheese, I’m taking it.
Because that’s nacho cheese.
Two balloons are walking in the desert
One balloon says to the other: Watch out! A cactussssssssssssssss
Two lawyers were walking along negotiating a case. “Look,” said one, “let’s be honest with each other.” “Okay, you first,” replied the other.
That was the end of that discussion.
One afternoon, two tomatoes were walking. One was going very slow. Eventually, the fast tomato got absolutely furious. He stomped on the slow tomato and exclaimed
I was walking through the shops the other day with my Dad when we walked past a sign that said wet floor
I was walking down the road the other day eating a packet of raisins and a guy came up to me and said I’ll swap you 20 sultanas for your raisins
I couldn’t believe the current exchange rate
ruminating while walking around aimlessly in a forest is the equivalent of getting lost in the woulds
I was walking into my kitchen when I suddenly thought I was from Barcelona and had the urge to take a siesta
Then I realized I was just having a Señor moment
A drunk was walking on the sidewalk minding his own business when he sees a thief run by him and then turns the corner. Shortly after a cop walk by and asks the man “did you happen to see the thief that turned the corner” to which the drunk replies…
“Idk man when I got here the corner was already turned”
Did you hear about the two peanuts walking down the street?
Two tomatoes are walking on a road and one gets hit by a car. The second says:
Why don't pirates take a shower before walking the plank?
They'll just wash up on shore
Johnny Appleseed went to the doctor one day. "Doctor," he said, "My feet hurt and I don't know why. Maybe it's all the walking?"
The doctor examined him and asked him some questions about his line of work.
"Well, Johnny," he said, "I'm afraid you have planter fascitis."
How did Harry Potter get down the hill? Walking.
I had this strange sensation walking through the bathroom section of the hardware store.
I suddenly….felt a tap on my shoulder.
So I tripped walking on the pavement towards my house yesterday.
It was my own asphalt though
My friend and I were walking down the street when suddenly we came across a one-armed man.
He was pretty scary-looking and it was dark, so I got quite nervous.
Seeing this, my friend calmly said "don't worry about him, he's armless".
I was walking through the woods with my friend Calvin
I was walking through the woods with my friend Calvin, when all of a sudden, I found the bones of a dead antler! I turned to my friend and said:
"Cal, see em!?"
Walking into the house, I announced, "Well, that's that! We can’t take our dog to the pond anymore!" Puzzled, our son asked why, so I continued, "The ducks keep attacking him!"
"I guess that’s what we get for buying a pure bread dog!"
I had a dad joke for the walking Stormtroopers at Galaxy’s Edge in Disneyworld
I had approached a Stormtrooper at Galaxy’s Edge with the following:
“Have you ever been to Starkiller Base? I heard it was a real blast!”
He had paused, looked at me, and gave me the “move along…”
True story: walking through Wal-Mart and someone left a gallon of milk on a shelf in the toy aisle.
while walking the grove I ran into
I'm walking with my gf and parents towards a private pier on a lake. My parents go on the pier to check it out. My gf is hesitant since it's private property. I tell her if everyone else is doing it, then it's ok.
She was facing a lot of pier pressure.
I always stand on the corner of my therapist’s office and blow wind at people walking in.
Everyone hates it, but I’m a big fan.
Three ostriches were walking in the desert.
Two of them heard a strange noise and quickly buried their heads in the sand.
The third one stopped, looked around for a while, and then said, "Where is everybody?"
Everyday I drive to work there is a nun walking to work at the catholic school down the street. It was so cold today but there she was walking again
I guess she's just in the habit.
I saw someone poop on a guy while walking down the street
He really did a number on him
I saw a caveman the other day, he was massive, like 7 foot easy, and he was just casually walking down the street. One could say...
A boy and his father are walking down the street when the boy notices a group of people stood next to a building holding matchboxes and Jerry cans.
The boy asks his father “Dad,are those people setting fire to that building?”. The father replies “Yes, they arson”
What do you call a bunch of gay lions walking down the street?
A pride, of course. Why does it matter if they're gay?
Gahndi was pretty well known for walking barefoot most of the time, which left his feet cracked and dry, as well his fasting is said to have brought enlightenment but also made him frail, and probably also bad breath.
I guess you could say he was a super calloused fragile mystic vexed with halitosis
I was in the hospital for a week. I just got out and my wife tells me to take a shower and change my underwear. "Soon, they might start walking and talking on their own," she says.
I said, "They might even crack a few jokes.
.
.
"But they'll be brief."
As we were walking down the driveway with the cans, I asked my son, "Did you know there’s no official training for garbage men?" Rolling his eyes, he responded, "No, no I didn't." I continued...
"Seriously, they just pick it up as they go along!"
My dad was cutting a piece of bread as I was walking out the door.
Me: "Could you cut me a piece for the road?"
Dad: "The road can't eat but you can have one."
Two tampons are walking down the street.
Which one says hello first?
Neither, they're both stuck up cunts!
Two guys walking down the road see a pile of dog poop
One says, "hey that looks like dog poop". Then he bends over and touches it. He says, "feels like dog poop". The other bends over and sniffs it. Says, "smells like dog poop". Then he sticks his finger in it and tastes it. He says "tastes like dog poop". The other one says, "Well, good thing we didn't step in it!!"
Note: little boys crack right up all the way through with this joke. Something about poop is enormously funny to boys.
3 fish walking on the sea floor
- fish 1 turns to a nearby restaurant and asks: shell we eat here?
fish 3 says: is it even good tho?
fish 1 then says: yeah its good, ive haddock with fish 2 before its a very good plaice.
fish 2 says: yeah that plaice is good, when i first took a bite of the food, i let out a huge, oh my cod!
fish 3 says: i trout that tho it seems kinda fishy, arowana eat at this restaurant. halibut that one? i had it with a large grouper before. ive even met the gill of my breams before!
fish 1 says: oh sure! i dont mind.
fish 3 says: there is a caviar tho, its very expensive and of-fish-al.
fish 2 says: oh for heavens hake! you know we dont have the money for that.
fish 3 says: nah im ballin, i could perch-ace the whole store!
fish 2 says: in my breams you cod, you take me for a school?! you are bass-lighting me.
fish 3 says: no, im not bass-lighting you. ive been surfing on this nft hype recently and have made river-bank! keep it as a sea-cret tho.
fish 2 says: oh, thats surf-prising. how much money have you made?
fish 3 says: mmm, about a gillion so far. its difficult to start tho, i had to shell all my craw-perty to a shellfish clam at the prawn-shop! but, i took my oppor-tuna-ty and made profit.
fish 1 says: ughh are you done coral-ling? im starving here!
fish 2 says: actually, do yall sea the curved metal thing up there? The food on it look delicious, let's crab it.
- they all agreed unanimously, but little did they know, a wrasse-ful fisherman was up there,
waiting for his next meal.
- fin
This TikTok was of a horse walking in the bathroom. I saw this comment and just died laughing.
What did the man do after walking into a bar?
Two peanuts are walking down the street
Why don’t pirates shower before walking the plank?
They just wash up on shore.
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