This is the... wait, what?
Can’t wait for the first married woman to walk on the red planet.
Just so I can ask if there’s wife on Mars.
A man was chopping down a tree but was surprised when the tree suddenly exclaimed, "Wait! I'm a talking tree!"
then he responded, "And you will dialogue!"
Why did the president-elect wait so long before deciding to run for president?
He was just Biden his time
The doctor was taking a while so he said: Sorry for the wait
I respond: no problem I’m patient
Now that the Fall is officially here, I can't wait to make tons of extra money gathering leaves..
.. last year I raked it in.
Trump and Pence were preparing to leave the Whitehouse for a big rally. When the helicopter arrived, Trump wasn't ready yet, so Pence asked: "Do you want me to wait for you Mr. President?" ...
"No Mike, you fly on ahead and I'll catch up later".
A lumberjack was out cutting down trees in the forest one day. He went to swing his axe and the tree screamed "WAIT! I'M A TALKING TREE!!!!"
The lumberjack looked up at the tree and paused saying "well, you may be a talking tree, but I'll see that you die a log!"
Mom: "The line was too long, I wasn't going to wait" Me: "Well I have patience, something that you don't"
Dad: "She works at a doctor's office, of course she has patients"
Doctor: Sorry for the long wait.
Dad: No worries. I'm patient.
My wife and I recently had a child on accident. We didn't want a child at all as we are rather young and wanted to wait a few years. He was born yesterday at the whopping weight of 8 kilos.
We've made a massive mistake
I can't wait until the pandemic is over, and I can see the pun-based show my local theater troupe has been rehearsing.
After waiting for an hour at the doctor's office the nurse came by and said sorry for the wait...
To which I replied, "No problem, I'm patient."
Wait until he hears about the doors.
When you wait for the waiter, you become the waiter
Just wait until you hit the drop
A lumberjack went in to a magic forest to cut a tree. Upon arrival, he started to swing at the tree, when it shouted, “Wait! I’m a talking tree!"
The lumberjack grinned and said: “And you will dialogue.”
Why do bacteria wait 5s before touching the food?
they first have to skip an ad.
I was having an argument with my wife about who should brew the coffee each morning. She said, “YOU should do it because YOU get up first and then we won't have to wait as long to get our coffee.”
I went full sexist pig, “YOU'RE in charge of cooking around here woman and YOU should do it, because it's YOUR job and I can just wait for my coffee.”
She replied coldly, “No, YOU should do it and besides, it's in the Bible that the man should do the coffee.”
I guffawed, “I can’t believe that, show me!”
So she fetched the Bible and opened to the New Testament and showed me the top of several pages, that it indeed says, “HEBREWS!”
The sign in this restaurant says “Please wait for hostess to be seated.”
I’ve been here two hours and she is still on her feet.
I can't wait for the Korean blues singer to come to town!
I hear his sound is very Seoulful and reminiscent of the 70’s.
Man, wait till you hear what my finishing move was at the Battleship competition!
Wait, looks like the Christmas presents are singing...
Oh, they're covered in rapping paper.
When the clerk says "sorry about your wait", I reply,
"I am too, but it's ok, I've been fat my whole life"
Why is the melon sad that he has to wait to get married?
If you missed the special NYE this time, just wait for two years.
Because 2022 is 2020, too.
I can't wait!, they're finally making The Watchmaker movie.
The moment we all patiently wait for.
A rope walks into a bar & asks for a beer. The bartender says, “No, you’re only a rope.” So he decides to disguise himself. He ties himself into a knot & ruffles his edges a bit. The next day, he walks into the bar & asks for a beer. The bartender says, “Of course... Wait, aren’t you that rope?”
And the rope replies, “I’m a frayed knot.”
If you have to wait on line for the bathroom...
A good meal is worth the wait.
But a good dessert is worth the weight.
The quality of puns has taken a real dive recently but wait until you sea mine
Every thanksgiving when my family is watching football my dad waits until the quarterback is sacked and says the following....
“That’s what you call a look-out block, you turn around and say LOOK OUT”
I've heard a lot of people are excited for Fast 9. I can't wait for the next one.
Why do doctors make us wait at the hospital?
Why did Russia wait so long to attack the Nazis?
I was naturally excited to have stumbled upon this sub, the goldmine of dadjokes. Couldn’t wait to use one of it...so one day while I was browsing, my son asked what was I reading? I took a deep breath of absolute euphoria and satisfaction, grinned widely and said, “They r/dadjokes.”
The son said, “What’s slash dad jokes?”
Kids, right!
I can’t wait for the day my child says “dad, I think I have your sense of humor”
So I can say to them
“YOU GIVE THAT BACK!”
I had to wait to poop until my girlfriend used the bathroom first.
I'm just glad she spoke now, instead of forever holding her pees.
Can’t wait to see the new Netflix documentary on constipation
The inventor of the time machine is depressed, so I bet he can't wait to put this year ahead of him.
I can't wait for Christmas this December, but the 31st will be stressful.
I've been diagnosed with old langxiety.
Nurse : Sorry for the wait
Don't worry, i'm patient.
Doctor *arrives late* sorry for the wait
A lumberjack went in to a magic forest to cut a tree. Upon arrival, he started to swing at the tree, when it shouted, “Wait! I’m a talking tree!"
The lumberjack grinned, “And you will dialogue!"
A nurse told me, "Sorry for the wait!"
I replied, "it's alright, I'm patient."
I was at the doctor and they said i have to wait some time
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