The Virtue of Selfishness Puns

At some point in our lives, most of us have been told the importance of forgiveness. Perhaps it was from your parents when you were a kid. Or perhaps the pastor at church quoting a bible verse that states we should forgive those who have wronged us. But what about self forgiveness? If we are to forgive others, then its equally important to forgive ourselves.

So why do people have so much difficulty with self forgiveness? Its mainly because they confuse it with self justification, which is basically justifying our wrongdoings or errors. This would be an example: lets say we feel bad about someone we didn’t treat very nicely in the past or perhaps even back in childhood we might have teased a classmate (who hasn’t done that).

Self justification is as follows:

-oh it was a long time ago

or

-its no big deal, everyone does that sometimes

or

-who cares, other people do worse things

This type of thinking (self justification) causes inner conflict and unconscious guilt. Self forgiveness on the other hand is as follows:

-ok that was wrong of me in the past, it was my error and I genuinely regret it. In the future I am going to strive to not repeat that same mistake and be a better person. However, I acknowledge that we as humans are highly imperfect and we ALL make mistakes (I am not alone here, we all have our 'lists'). Therefore, I sincerely forgive myself and choose to move on as a better person with self respect and self love.

This attitude acknowledges our mistakes (its not suppression, justification or denial). It acknowledges our very humanness and our weaknesses. It allows forgiveness of self and others without guilt or loss of self esteem; this is empowering. Self correction will serve us much better than negative emotions like guilt, shame, anger, denial, etc. We literally become better human beings as a result - so how can that be bad?

For many years I held a belief that insisted I forgive others for harm they have done to me but did not allow me to forgive myself for my own errors. This attitude constantly creates inner conflict and guilt that destroys the psyche. It was only when I acknowledged my humanness and stopped attacking myself for being a normal human being that I was able to let go of the inner conflict and disharmony that was eating away at my soul.

We need to make mistakes in order to evolve our souls. And we will always continue to make new mistakes (its a part of being human). When we recognize our mistakes

Whether it's peace, love, kindness or our subjective definition of good and evil, they're all inherently selfish. There's always something to gain and the definition might change whenever it suits. I doubt that there are many people who act on those values without any expectations which could be reciprocity in terms of material wealth or something intangible as improving odds of survival, commanding respect, getting closer to heaven or just to feel better about yourself. There was a time when owning slaves wasn't considered immoral even amongst the most religious of people. Imo, it's because those people were fortunate enough to not even consider being on the opposite end of the scale. It's only when the slaves rebelled and their very existence was in danger that, out of necessity, a movement started to take place and eventually, slavery began to be considered as immoral. There's also the duplicity of accepting meat eating as normal while cannibalism is frowned upon. Could it be because if eating humans was normalized, then there's a non-zero probability of you or your loved one dying and that's why you hate cannibalism? You can make the same case for avoiding violence unless it threatens your very existence, you're only doing to protect yourself or your loved ones. There's a divide among taxation of the rich which largely depends on what side you're on, you support the one in which you have the most to gain or the least to lose, it's not because there's something virtuous about the equal redistribution of wealth. The things you consider moral are the ones which either improve your chances of survival or improve the quality of your life or afterlife. Everything about is selfish. Our definitions of morality have evolved over time and there is only one reason: the selfish gene. It's all about self-preservation/fulfilment.

The next obvious question is what's wrong with that? To be clear, I'm not a misanthropist. But, if one was honestly asked if the survival of mankind was a good in itself, I'm not sure if the answer would be a resounding yes. Good for whom? If we exclude our own species and look at everything else, it has obviously been a disaster. I'm not sure how many species died as a result of natural calamities but there's definitely a large number of species that have gone extinct because of our intervention. If global warming gets worse, it's an existential threat to the planet itself. But again, why should we even consider the sanctity of other sp

I think the word is putting people off and I believe originally it was meant to filter them out intentionally.

But maybe we could use 'non-coercive self-interest' or 'self-actualisation' instead?

Edit: Maybe cooperative selfishness.

I honestly don’t understand how anyone can have such a relaxed mindset when our older population, and those with pre-existing medical conditions, are at a very real risk. I’ve seen a number of people outright brag that they’re not taking this seriously because “it’s just a flu” and they plan to continue on with their business as usual. Meanwhile Australia has 300 confirmed cases of coronavirus and the numbers are growing by the day. There are going to be huge ramifications if we don’t get this under control right away, but these people are actively contributing to the risk involved.

I asked myself this question, doubting that when you're making others happy with the sole reasoning of making your(egocentric/individual)self happy, this altruïsm is not a true virtue.

I (30F) struggle with sadness from emotional pain I experienced because of other people in my past. Luckily, not from anyone in my family but definitely at the hands of former friends, coworkers & boyfriends. Not to mention the amount of human cruelty we’re exposed to through the media & news each and every day.

Besides some bullying I experienced as a kid, I got off pretty scott-free until I got my first real job out of college. My boss and colleagues at that job were pretty big bullies and often went out of their way to make me feel excluded & unwelcome. It probably wouldn’t bother me now as a 30 year old woman but as a 22 year old kid, it was pretty rough to deal with. My previous job, I worked at a small company and dealt with an abusive & psychopathic CEO who basically harassed me into quitting. Basically making my job so unpleasant (through micro-managing, yelling, name-calling etc.) that I had to leave. My ex-fiancé (together 5 years, engaged 1) was horrifically mentally abusive as well.

Again, these experiences don’t make me unique or special and I know that. Everyone goes through tough shit & we all deal with assholes sometime in our lives, although to extremely varying degrees. I have friends who have dealt with far worse things than I have, like abusive parents and sexual assault. It’s all just part of the human experience. I sometimes think that what I feel is not so much sadness but shame in allowing others to treat me badly.

I guess my question is this – HOW do you keep these things from draining you mentally? How do you keep the faith and keep going without these experiences shutting you off to the world? I still do believe in basic human goodness but it sure is hard sometimes! Anyone else relate?

In the following article, I look at the sins mentioned in the Bible, a definition of sin and what is at the root of sin - selfishness, a connection identified by ministers Andrew Murray and Walter Frederik Adeney, who said "He may be seeking what he calls his spiritual welfare - escape from hell, a happy future, or peace here. But all this is selfish. Selfishness in every respect must be uprooted in order that the true Christian life may be established"

Selfishness: the root of all sins

Do you see selfishness as the root of all sins or something else?

Yesterday, I shared a picture stating that Corey and Alicia got married. I checked back up on the post a few hours later to find some truly selfish and disgusting comments. There were people genuinely pissed off that Corey had gotten married. Many of those posts have since been removed, but it’s important to address it. Such comments are the very reason that Corey and Alicia are taking a break from social media. They don’t deserve the shit that some of you have been giving them. Let them enjoy their lives together.

Corey has every right to be happy. The guy has been through hell and back for the band and for us. His well being has to come before all else, and if Alicia is what brings that, then I’m all for it. It’s disgusting to say that Corey shouldn’t be happy so he can make better music. That also goes for the people commenting on his prior marriages. It’s a thing of the past. He’s in a new chapter of his life. They aren’t the same people that made Iowa anymore. They have lives to live as well, and Corey has the same right to enjoy it just as any of us do. Slipknot has always been about the brotherhood and looking out for one another. If you can’t see past your own selfish desires, then you might as well remove yourself from the conversation. Be happy that Corey is happy and enjoying himself. Don’t tear him down because you want another Iowa. Realize that nothing is forever, and the only constant is change. We should be excited that Corey is married and happy.

Just my two cents.

How could you be so evil to bring another human into this over-competitive, crowded and depressing world only for them to grow up and join a hopeless and cold rat race? if you dealt with depression it's most likely due to money, lack of opportunity or genetic issues, so, how could be so evil and selfish to bring another human into the world just to make yourself feel better while setting your child up for failure? If you don't have the means to support a child and lead them to a sustainable decent life then you're scum.

"It's a natural duty for human beings to perform good acts. Human nature carries the moral basis for good social acts. Why should man act to avoid punishment or to be awarded in the afterlife? This is fundamentally selfish, as one is abandoning an obvious social duty in order to liberate oneself from mortal agony. You cannot form a righteous moral basis for the world with the selfishness of salvation." -Confucian Philosopher

WARNING SPOILERS: I felt those themes were very well done. Nobody's perfect in this show. Alma's sister wants to be in a long term relationship for stability, but ends up screwing it up because she's afraid of commitment. Sam loves Alma and wants to be with her, but keeps breaking her trust by lying to her. Camila wants to help her daughter because she sees her slipping away like her husband, but doesn't know how to listen to her and invades her privacy. From what I've seen on this sub some people had a problem with Alma's character because of how selfish she can seem at times, but I think this kinda adds to her character, and is something she has to overcome, and you can see this with other characters too. Hoping to get other people's opinions on this.

Hi, I find it a little frustrating to have to lose one point of dex. I thought to kick all my party out but I have a romance with one of them and I don't want to break it. So... it is first time with hexxat and she has been the unlucky one. I think she is not very useful vs Irenicus so I can get by without her. But I want her back cause I want to see her mission and is my only thief. Also, if I can get her back in ToB, can I do the mission if I have let her die? I've never started a play from ToB so don't know neither you can do their mission without SoA ones neither the game will consider that I have not made her missions in SoA because she is not as soon as ToB starts...

Thanks in advance

Having recently worked a temp job as a cashier, I came to best witness to the classic “the customer is always right” business ideology in action. In short, we seemingly bend over backwards (with a smile on our faces no less) to accommodate whatever the customer needs. We force cashiers to endure the mental fatigue of checking out 100+ people in a row during rush so the customer has to wait as little as possible.

We cave on most requests with even the slightest pushback. For instance, not having your discount card physically or any real proof (“I forgot it”). It’s store policy to deny the discount without proof of having the membership, yet all they have to do is insist and management will make an exception.

These are only a couple of examples. To me, there is little positive outcomes associated with this mindset that the customer isn’t wrong. I get wanting to provide fast and friendly service, but for the sake of both parties that can’t always be fully accommodated. And the weirdest part for me is most customers are empathetic and understanding. Most are like “oh, no worries about the wait. You guys are busy after all”. It’s only a select few assholes we seemingly tailor the business experience for.

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Just saying.

I'm using a throwaway account for the sake of anonymity. I read the rules and hopefully I'm not breaking any by posting this.

I love my husband but I fucking resent him and his mom for everything they did that was abusive, callous, hateful, mean, rude, and selfish during our pregnancy, on our wedding day (we married after we got pregnant but not because of it), during my labor and delivery, and the weeks that followed our child's birth. Maybe one day, I will be able to actually tell my story on here but today I'm just venting because I was triggered and felt hopeless.

I've been to multiple therapists and an outpatient program for this and have been prescribed medications for my depression and anxiety. I was diagnosed with PTSD and PPD/PPanxiety. Please no suggestions on how to deal with this because I've tried and still do many healthy things to cope and pursue healing. I'll be fine for a bit then something will trigger me and I will fall into an abyss of anger, hate, regret, and resentment. Nothing can give me those precious moments back; They should have been wonderful, meaningful milestones but they are tarnished and tragic. I could have accepted my pregnancy and birth complications if my husband had been supportive. No, he treated me as if I was a pile of worthless garbage.

I'm angry that he stole years of my life, time that I could've spent being happy with our child, not in and out of therapy, dealing with side effects of medication, struggling to function intimately because of pain, regularly dealing with insomnia and panic attacks. I'm angry that he doesn't have to live with all these terrible things after everything he put me through. I'm angry that I had to carry the shame in front of friends and family for going into a program and admitting I was depressed and had a problem (I DON'T THINK THERE IS ANY SHAME IN GETTING HELP FOR MENTAL HEALTH, I AM ONLY STATING THAT I FELT SHAME AND MOM GUILT AT THAT TIME) while no one knows what truly happened to me and what he did. None of his family showed any kind of encouragement or support during this time besides his mom checking in on us a few times. I'm sure they all think I am just being dramatic but they have no idea what DH has put me through. I felt so abandoned, violated and worthless after the birth of our child.

It angers me that I am never able to tell my child's true birth story or even talk about it at all because of the shame or it would sound like I'm just talking shit about my husband