He responded, "No, I'm German. And how did you know my name was Walter?"
Elf Defence
I wish you well
Because no one believed in him.
He was carrying a massive stick so I said to him "Are you a pole vaulter?" to which he replied "No, I'm a German. How did you know my name was Walter?"
Joke shamelessly stolen from u/tunafriendlydolphin ♡
As he began his daily routine of preparing to bake countless loaves of bread, he quickly realized there was no knead.
He used a Berk-in bag.
This is clearly low effort; I do hope it’s original, though.
TA-LO?
At least they were di-"verse".
Only ewes can prevent florist friars.
Long ago there was a village under the sea. In that village lived a collection of fish, lot's of different kinds, along with Ted the strong octopus, and they all lived happily. Near the village, there was a cave whose entrance was blocked by a large stone, and above it, there was an inscription saying “When real danger arrives, open the cave, and you will all be saved”.
One day the village was attacked by a shoal of piranhas. The fish rush to the cave and try to push the boulder aside, but it is too large for them, so they go to Ted the strong octopus to ask for help, but Ted says “No, this danger is not big enough for us to need the cave, we will be fine without it.”. The fish begged and argued, but there was no convincing Ted, so they had to fight the piranhas without whatever was in the cave, and against all odds, they managed to defeat them with minimal losses, and all agreed that Ted was right.
After a fair bit of time, the village was attacked again by a bed of moray eels. Again the fish rushed to the cave to try to push the boulder aside, and again they failed, for it was too large for them, so they rush to Ted to ask for help. “No,” Ted said again “this danger is not as big as you think it is. We will manage just fine without the contents of the cave. Leave that for a bigger threat.”. And so the fish asked and begged, Ted, told them that all 8 of his hands were tied, he wouldn't help with moving the boulder, so they ended up fighting the morays, and to everyone's surprise, they actually managed to save the village. All again reluctantly agreed that although a deus ex machina would have been good, they didn't end up needing one.
Time passed and life was normal in the village until a Shiver of Sharks was spotted in the distance. Everyone panicked, and, knowing that they couldn't move the boulder alone, they rushed to Ted. “Again, the danger is not big enough, we will survive,” said Ted, and no matter what they did they couldn't change his mind, so they all rushed to the boulder in a desperate attempt to move it. As they were giving up, a very old fish that everyone trusted said “Do not worry, for Ted is wise, and he knows when the danger is real, and he knows when to use the contents of the cave. Have faith that if he says we will be fine, we will survive this, and when octopush comes to shove, the cave will open.”.
Nacho, nacho plan... they've gotta make a nacho plan.
I’m really not sure how effective they are, seems as if they are a shot in the dark.
After failing to win for about 9 times in a row, Jaime, hired a spy who will go and check Jack's harvest the night before the contest so he can harvest more. As the spy came back the night before, he informed the farmer Jaime about the amount that he saw inside Jack's yard but he was not able to tell the amount in exact. Jaime took the spy to his paddy field, gave him some extra money than what they initially agreed upon and said...
"You reap what you saw".
Worcestershire
"Why, MCA?"
It was a separation of church and slate.
WHYYYY MCA!!
I hope they get well soon
The troll replied, "Silly Rabbi, kicks are for Trids!"
"I will blow up your water place!" He meant well.
"You see that steeple on that church over there? Yeah, I hit it."
