He was the rootinest tootinest cowboy in the wild west
Notorious Bile Will Hiccoughs
A nervous wreck
Ten Tickles!
Incontinent
I thought, βThis guyβs heading for a breakdown.β
It's a real blast from the past.
He has "A History of Violins"
He asks to have his future read and the fortune teller happily does so. After gazing into her crystal ball she starts to laugh uncontrollably. The man hits her immediately to which the teller asks: Why did you do that??????? The man replies, I've never struck a happy medium before
I walk into his house and he yells, gruffly, "What are you up to?". Seizing my opportunity, I quip back "Ohh about 6 foot 4.". He glares at me for 5 solid seconds and says dryly, "I didn't know they could stack shit that high!". Uncontrollable laughter for the next 5 minutes from him.
RIP Old Man
So my daughter is in Girl Scouts. Everybody knows that the Girl Scouts sell cookies, but they also sell chocolates, nuts, and other snack food. Since we have only one car and a large garage we usually volunteer as a cupboard. Basically we get a few pallets of stuff and the area troops pick up from our place.
Me: [stopping mid pulling into the garage] What is that?!
Wife: [concerned] What is it?
Me: [shaking my head] That is nuts!
Wife: [eyes roll] Really?
Me: [laughing uncontrollably]
My son didnβt laugh either.
At a restaurant, waitress comes to take our order...
Friend: Yeah, can I have the quesadilla? But I'm not that hungry, is there anyway I can have just one 'dilla' and not the whole case?
I preceded to laugh uncontrollably. The ladies contemplated leaving.
When ever I'd try to tell my dad something the conversation would usually go like this:
Me: Hey Dad, you know what?
Dad: No, not personally cue uncontrollable giggling
Towards the end of the year we were listing certain errors we learned to correct throughout the course. Someone raised their hand and said "fixing repetition". So later I raised my hand and said "fixing repetition". The teacher at first was serious and said "we already have that on-...." And then she saw me crack the biggest shit eating grin and the whole class groaned as I started laughing uncontrollably.
He says "Doctor, ever since my kids learned to drive I've been trembling uncontrollably."
The doctor runs a few tests and comes back.
"You have parking sons."
I work at the public library, doing some phone answering, office work, n stuff.
Anyways this lady calls
"Hello, I am searching for some material, and was wondering do you have two books?"
me "I can guarantee you that we have two books here"
Uncontrollable laughter in the other end for a good while, before she manages to specify what books she's searching for
My mom was at the ATM entering her password. Suddenly, a wild dad appeared and said : "hah, your password is so easy to remember. The characters are all X's. "
We all sighed deeply as he laughed uncontrollably, and proceeded our journey in Life ignoring what he just said.
shared a classic dadjoke to SO,
"who was the first person to use the ctrl-c shortcut: Moses"
"wow.. cant handle"
"sorry i didnt come with handle bars"
"you need to stop reading dadjokes, youre going to the darkside"
"you mean the dadside" *uncontrollable laughter
The family is all gathered around the table eating dinner when my dad grabs the nearly empty ketchup bottle for his fries. I knew it was coming. We all knew it was coming, but there really was nothing that could be done. As he squeezes the bottles, the final remnants of ketchup and trapped air escape the container sounding like the worse flatulence you have ever heard.
He then turns to my mother and says, "Those beans are getting to me fast tonight!"
Uncontrollable laughter ensued.
Coworker: Yeah, I'm eating crackers with my lunch.
I turn around ominously
Excuse me, I prefer the term saltine American. go's back to typing
The office slowly builds to uncontrollable laughter. mic drop
We were looking for twine or something in the yarn section and this dad walks by with his two daughters, gives a huge yawn, and says, "WOW! That was a huge yarn" and then began to start chuckling uncontrollably.
(He hands me an ornament of a small teddy bear in overalls) Me: where should I put this one? Him: how about right there? Me: yeah, that would be good Him: yeah that spot just looked a little bare Me: (looks at the little bear in my hand)(laughs uncontrollably for several minutes while daughter stares at us)
My son is just starting to walk from furniture item to furniture item. My wife comments to me that he is also teething, so his tongue is out.
Wife: he's linking the furniture. Me: does it taste good. Wife (speaking in a high voice as my son): I don't think so dad. Me: are you saying your parents don't have good tastin' furniture?
Wife starts laughing uncontrollably.
So I was grabbing my keys off the desk, which my Movado wristwatch was leaning against, to take out the trash. As I raised them up my watch fell on the hardwood floor face down and I freaked, my girlfriend looks up from her phone at the look on my face and says:
"Watch out!"
Then begins to laugh uncontrollably.
The End.
I was eating breakfast with my parents at a hotel. It was a buffet style one. We were towards the end of the meal when this happened.
Dad: Did you see all the juices they had over there?
Me: Yeah, I went for orange.
Mom: Oooh do they have Passion Fruit and Guava juice? We could mix them and make POG.
Me: Nah, they had Cranberry, Orange, Apple, and Lemonade though; you could make COAL.
Dad: It's a good thing they didn't have Cranberry, Raspberry, Apple, and Pineapple. (He was already laughing at his own joke getting the last word out) ...Do you get it? (now in uncontrollable laughter)
Me: I could smell that one coming when you started it.
Mom groaned and pretended not to know us.
"Ah-shoe"
What does the other shoe respond with? "Bless shoe"
(This is the part where you laugh/sigh uncontrollably)
A bit of a reverse-dad joke, my brother and dad were talking about the actors in the movie. My dad was lamenting Megan Fox being April, and said "I don't see how anyone could like that lizard face of hers."
My brother shrugged and calmly responded, "It gives some guys a boners, others get e-reptile dysfunction."
The guy on line behind us started laughing uncontrollably.
Me: "Those old cars were pretty big, I wonder how they drove them around"
Dad: "Probably with the steering wheel"
Que my rolling eyes and his uncontrollable laughter
He's 4 years old and walked into the kitchen while I was at my aunt and uncle's house. My aunt saw him and got slightly irritated because this was a problem she thought he had gotten over. She goes to talk to her husband about it:
Aunt: Keegan had another accident honey.
Uncle: Oh did he now?
Aunt: Yes. And I'm making dinner, so can you please deal with this? (at this point she is still pretty ticked off)
Uncle: oh I'll deal with it. Keegan come here.
Keegan walks over
Uncle: Urine a lot of trouble mister. Can't you pee that you're pissing your mother off?
My uncle proceeded to laugh uncontrollably at his own joke while my four year old cousin stood there looking really confused and my aunt walked away with her arms crossed, angrily trying to hold back her laughter.
Directly copied the text from her email:
I know that seeing my dad walk in the door with his foot in a cast my initial reaction should NOT have been to start giggling uncontrollably.....but that's what I do. It's even worse when I hurt myself, especially if it's a ton of pain, people think I've gone in shock or I'm a bit loopy because I'm usually in stitches.
I thought she might have done it accidentally, until it was followed up with a "ba-dum-chhh"
My dad was giving me and a friend a lift to football and I was on the phone to a friend already at the football pitch and I ask "how is the grass" my dad turns to me and says "green" suddenly there is a wave of uncontrolable laughter crashing through the car and I just have sit there in the shame at being ripped by my dad.
The other day we were in the car talking and she was talking about how everyone in her family yells about everything. She said my mom yells, my dad yells, my nana yells, and my pawpaw yells. I couldn't resist, I said "I guess you could call them... An old yeller" laughed uncontrollably for about 5 minutes while she just started at me.
We had burgers for dinner, and they were a little overcooked. Just a bit, still delicious, but my dad is always critical of himself. My mom assured him that the burgers were very good and I told him that "yes, they were very well done" to which everyone rolled their eyes while I laughed uncontrollably.
My dad rolled his eyes, but he also smiled proudly.
In the dining room during lunch after giving my elder residents desert which was Angel food cake, everyone noticed that the cake was very flat and thin.
One of the ladies said "This is no angel food cake, this is...."
Without missing a beat, this old man with a patch on his right eye interrupts the little old woman and says at the top of his lungs in a raspy, yet clear tone , "I'll tell you what this is!. It's a fallen angel!"
Everyone in the dining room laughed uncontrollably. Not him. He just shakes his head and digs into the cake.
I immediately thought of you guys.
I went to lunch with my dad and my hair is kind of long, so halfway through the meal he says "i've been meaning to ask you son where do you regularly cut your hair?" So i go ahead and tell him where to which he replies "i'm sure they've been missing you!" And starts to laugh uncontrollably while i just shake my head i love my dad
A week ago I just purchased a condo. After closing my parents met me at the empty condo, and we had lunch. While waiting for the locksmith to rekey the locks, we moved in a patio loveseat and 1 camping chair, and put them temporarily in the main room for us to sit. Everything else would be moved in the next day.
Locksmith comes, and while he is working on the back door we sit down. My dad turns to me and says "You've got enough money to pay the locksmith." The locksmith pauses and looks at me as I say "Yes". Dad then says:
"I'm proud of you for being able to get this place. And don't worry, I'm sure one day you'll be able to afford furniture."
The locksmith looks uncomfortable and moves to a different door. My dad then just starts laughing uncontrollably. I just stare at him in shock, it was so well delivered. And hey! The locksmith gave me a discount as he felt sorry for me.
A nervous wreck
