What did they serve at the Graveyard Bash where they were all doing the Monster Mash?
Little known fact: the Gallagher brothers had a sister who was in the band but it didn’t work out.
When they kicked her out, they renamed the band: Oasis.
There were two brothers that almost designed a working airplane before the Wright brothers
Guess they were the wrong brothers
I said to my wife, "They say that childbirth is the most painful thing someone can experience..."
"Now, maybe I was too young to remember, but I didn't think it hurt that much."
Two brothers plan on sharing the soda they just bought, half half. The first brother drinks the entire bottle in a minute. The other bother says "why the hell did you drink the entire thing? We were going to each have half!"
The brother who chugged the soda responds "my half was on the bottom."
Despite zero experience, I’m opening a BBQ restaurant next to the courthouse.
What are the names of the werewolf's brothers?
Whatwolf and whenwolf.
Their daddy was whowolf.
It's a shame they never talk about the sister of the Marx Brothers who was always pregnant?
Everyone always forgets about Stretcho.
Why does the chemist keep his kitten in his lab when doing experiments?
It acts as a good catalyst
My brother Mike fell from the stairs this morning
It was a serious mic drop
I was looking for the mute key as backup on a zoom call, and my brother asked: “what are you doing?”
I responded, “I’m just a little keeeyyrios.”
Someone said they would bash me with the neck of their guitar
My brother Ray changed his name so he could get a job in the Radiology Department of a hospital.
Breaking news: The cast of Friends have all made it back to shore alive after an incident where they got stuck at sea. Matt Le Blanc was quoted saying “The engines blew up, and none of us had any real experience with sailing, but it was okay...
My lovely brother underwent the gender reassignment surgery last week, but because of covid, they wouldn’t let family in the hospital.
I had to support her with the trans-sister radio.
My older brother (50) made a great joke the other day
My parents had a grinder of pink salt on the table. My brother said "Hand me the possum salt." I was confused so I took the bait, "Possum salt?" "Yeah, it's what you put on him when you find Himalayan in the middle of the road!"
Did you see the video of Bruce Lee fighting his long lost brother?
What is the name of Xi Jinping's elder brother?
I showed a friend the Alien movie today. To give them the same experience I had...
...we'll watch Aliens in 2028
My brother got sacked off the dodgems the other day
He’s doing them for funfair dismissal
What is the name of Jack Ma's elder sister, elder brother and eldest brother?
Queen Ma, King Ma and Ace Ma.
After the Wright Brothers first flight came to a graceful landing, Wilbur said to Orville
"It can only go up from here."
Thought of this while I was teaching my little brother about the wonderful world of colors
An Irish dad calls his son in London the day before Christmas Eve and says, “I hate to ruin your day but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing.”
“Dad, what are you talking about?” the son screams.
“We can’t stand the sight of each other any longer,” the father says. “We’re sick of each other and I’m sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Leeds and tell her.”
The son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone. “Like heck they’re getting divorced!”she shouts, “I’ll take care of this!”
She calls Ireland immediately, and screams at her father, “You are NOT getting divorced. Don’t do a single thing until I get there. I’m calling my brother back, and we’ll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don’t do a thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?” and hangs up.
The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife. “Sorted! They’re coming for Christmas – and they’re paying their own way"
Why couldn’t the other brothers at the monastery ever get Friar Chip and Friar Dale to chip in for lunch?
What are the Mario brother’s overalls made of?
What's the name of albert Einstein's evil brother?
Ninja brings his younger brother to the secret ninja group,
And say's: He's ready,
The Master says: He can't,
Older brother: Shuriken.
A lot of people say the me and my older brother look alike
I agree because I have his jeans
My little brother just came up with this: Why was the fully loaded hot dog cold?
Because it was a chili dog.
My brother got extremely pissed off when he put the top on a pot of water upside down. Then he turned it over.
A woman was 3 months pregnant when she fell into a coma for 6 months.
The woman asked the doctor about her baby.
Doctor: "You had twins, a girl and a boy. They're both fine. And your brother named them for you."
Woman: "Oh my, not my brother! No! He's an idiot! What did he name the girl?"
Doctor: "Denise."
Woman: "Oh, wow! That's a really pretty name. What about the boy?"
Doctor: deep sigh "Denephew.“
A failed experiment on spiders resulted in them becoming Large enough as the mountains. Within hours the whole Earth was covered...
Why didn't the Grandmaster in Ragnarok know who Thor's brother was?
Was the information being kept low-key?
Why can’t you do Schrodinger’s experiment on the surface of Mars?
Because Curiosity killed the cat.
I don’t really publicize the fact that I’m Thor’s brother.
My eldest wanted to know why I wouldn't lend him any of my tools, but I let his younger brother, the prodigal son, borrow whatever equipment he wants.
Simple, I said, the prodigal son returns...
My brother always takes the stairs, but I prefer taking the elevator.
I guess we are raised differently.
I got into a fight with my brother on the way to church today because he was positive that Jesus was an Intel processor guy....
When anybody with half a brain clearly knows he has a Ryzen
Did you know two brothers almost made a functioning airplane before the Wright brothers?
Guess they were the wrong brothers
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