The Tub Puns

A list of puns related to "The Tub"

What did the monk say who saw the face of Jesus in a tub of margarine?

I can't believe it's not Buddha.

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👤︎ u/LongDecision1
📅︎ Feb 07 2021
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I'd like to plug my wife's attempt to cross the Atlantic in a bath tub.

But it's too late....she sank.

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👤︎ u/VERBERD
📅︎ Dec 25 2020
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What's the difference between a bath tub and an alligator?

(Dad waits for the common response: "I don't know, what?")

Then I'd advice you to never take a bath.

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👤︎ u/twozon
📅︎ Dec 22 2020
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What does a Rastafarian use to keep his beer cool in the hot tub?

A jah-koozie

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👤︎ u/nsblues
📅︎ Oct 12 2020
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Scientists recently performed an experiment to figure out the gender of an ant. They would place them in a tub of water.

If they sank, girl ant. If they floated, buoyant.

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👤︎ u/TuttsMcGee
📅︎ Sep 02 2020
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What do you call the German man that fell into a tub of disinfectant?

Hans-anitizer

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👤︎ u/_Explosive_Muffin_
📅︎ Aug 31 2020
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My two year old in the tub

Looked at me and said "Pop!..." I assumed he was prompting me to sing, so I finished "goes the weasel!" Instead, he looked at me, smiled, and whispered. "No. Pop goes the waffle."

He got his bedtime toaster waffle snack that night.

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👤︎ u/BenjaminKorr
📅︎ Oct 04 2020
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Today at work, I took a dish collector tub into the walk-in with me. I realized, most restaurants fridges can't even fit a car.

Yet, I just fit a bus in here.

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👤︎ u/thoxis1
📅︎ Jun 20 2020
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Have you all heard about the monk who claimed to see the face of jesus in a tub of margarine?

He said “i cant believe its not Buddha”

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👤︎ u/basecamp13
📅︎ Dec 20 2019
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What's the difference between a fish, a piano and a tub of glue?

You can tune a piano but you can't tunafish. as for the tub of glue, i knew you would get stuck on that one

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👤︎ u/ToastStrudelz
📅︎ Feb 23 2020
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Call a plumber. The tub is all pugged up.
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👤︎ u/mystyry
📅︎ Oct 08 2019
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I saw something in the tub and thought the cat took a crap in there, but he just knocked over some of my wife’s hair care products.

It was a shampoop.

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👤︎ u/fungiinmygarden
📅︎ Mar 02 2020
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What’s the difference between a piano, tuna, and a tub of glue?

You can tuna piano, but you can’t piano a tuna!

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👤︎ u/BusyPooping
📅︎ Nov 14 2019
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What did the man say to the kid who left a tub of Fluorine on his yard

Get the F off my lawn

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👤︎ u/AncientDestructor
📅︎ May 23 2019
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What did the bee in the hot tub say?

Swarm in here!

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👤︎ u/Bakedschwarzenbach
📅︎ Jun 09 2019
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Did you hear about the man who was murdered in the tub?

It was a bloodbath.

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👤︎ u/kattattak_76
📅︎ Jan 30 2018
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I regret asking my wife why she’s buying a giant tub of whiteout from the store.

Big mistake.

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👤︎ u/porichoygupto
📅︎ Feb 05 2019
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The other day, I ran into the ocean holding a tub of salsa

I was just taking a dip in the sea

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👤︎ u/Tempsilon
📅︎ Nov 05 2018
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Top ten reasons you shouldn't use your computer in the tub

Number 1 will shock you!

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👤︎ u/Whybotherr
📅︎ Sep 13 2017
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I was in my backyard in the hot tub last night enjoying the views of the incoming lightning storm not thinking of the danger.

And then it struck me....

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👤︎ u/buckeyespud
📅︎ Aug 06 2018
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What did the Italian say to the Frenchman that farted in the hot tub?

J’acuzzi!

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👤︎ u/proftora
📅︎ Jul 15 2018
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If you hurl allegations from the hot tub...

are you in a j'accuse-i?

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👤︎ u/Fishercook
📅︎ Sep 24 2014
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How do you get a horse out of the tub?

You pull the plug!

-Thanks Dad...

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👤︎ u/Red_Tannins
📅︎ Aug 08 2013
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What did the Tibetan Monk say when he saw Jesus in a tub of margarine?

"I can't believe it's not Buddha."

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👤︎ u/mayorodoyle
📅︎ Dec 26 2020
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What did the monk say when he saw the face of Jesus in a margarine tub?

I can't believe it's not Buddah.

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👤︎ u/ShibbleNibble
📅︎ Jun 20 2020
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What did the monk say when he saw the face of Jesus in his margarine tub?

I can't believe it's not buddha

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👤︎ u/natulm
📅︎ Dec 22 2019
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What’s the difference between a piano, a tuna, and a tub of glue

You can tuna piano but you can’t piano a tuna

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👤︎ u/Eluceadtenebras
📅︎ Oct 17 2018
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