What did the dog say when he threw his old chew toy away?
We’re in the process of potty training my two year old. My wife took her into the bathroom and argued with her that she’s not allowed to take toys into the bathroom.
I interrupted her and told her that it is in fact called a toy-let.
My son got a new toy car, the Toyota SHOEpra...
What is Pinky's (of Pinky and the Brain) favorite toy?
Why didn’t the baby shrimp want to share his toys?
He was a little shellfish.
I'm giving all your toys to the orphanage, son.
You'll need something to play with.
Since this is a “Nana” tree (common name for Juniperus Procumens Green Mountain Juniper bonsai), it was suggested I have a “ba”. Therefore, since the stock ticker for Boeing is BA, I bought a toy 787. That means there is now a “banana” on the counter.
Getting my toy drone stuck in the tree isn’t the worst thing that happened to me today.
But it’s definitely up there.
Balls have got to be one of the oldest toys.
They’ve been ‘round a long time.
What was the kitten diplomats favorite toy?
Why did the second-rate toy plastic brick maker become obsessed?
Because he just couldn’t Lego.
A father was reading a book while his son was playing with toys on the floor. “Daddy, why is that book so thick?” asks the boy.
“It’s long story,” replies the father.
My daughter came home from the toy store with a spherical Pixar fish toy. She asked me if I thought it was cute.
A man went into a toy store and ripped the arms off of every teddy bear in the store. Why did the judge let him go free?
He had the right to bear arms.
I didn’t realize my dad used to steal board-games from the toy store.
But when I look back now, all the Clues added up.
I had to give a guard a toy before I was allowed to go fishing in the lake...
I guess that's the Fisher Price.
I lost the sex toy the other day, it was a real pain in the ass to find it.
Father: Son, I donated all your toys to the children's home.
Son: Why did you do that?
Father: So you will not be bored there.
When I was a kid, my Dad asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I was greedy and came up with the “brilliant” idea to ask for 10 thousand bucks instead of a toy so that I could buy heaps of toys.
To my surprise he shrugged and said sure.
On Christmas Day, I excitedly tore open my gift box. To my anger and disappointment, it only contained 10 plastic toy pigs and deers.
“Daaaaaddd!!!!” I wailed in tears.
Dad gave me the biggest shit-eating grin and said “Well, I got you ten sows and bucks just like you asked.”
My kid has a toy set of different biblical characters, but one started talking and now it condescendingly corrects me all the time...
...what a little Noah doll.
You know that part in Toy Story where Woody pushes Buzz out the window?
You can say he was a buzz kill.
Did you hear about the new indestructible sex toy?
Yeah, it's made out of Vibranium.
Just saw the new Toy Story movie
Finally see what all the Buzz is about
A small child was brought into hospital the other day after swallowing several small toy horses.
The doctors report that he is in a stable condition.
The kid who microwaved his toy construction blocks ended up with
Dis you hear about the man who was hospitalised after using a baguette as an improvised sex toy?
The doctor said it was a complete pain in the ass.
The boxer toy was violently beating down the other toys
He was charged with battery
Why is the kid from Toy Story so good at repairing his toys?
Did you hear about the large petrol truck that liked to fix gadgets and children's toys?
A man was admitted to the hospital with six toy horses stuck in his bottom.
His condition was described as stable.
My boys did a terrible job picking up and putting away their toy bullets after playing war in the basement.
They are a couple of lousy nerf herders.
What did the mom say to her kids when they asked "how's the weather and what should we do with our toys?"
My daughter threw a toy on the ground...
Wife: Your daughter seems to have discovered gravity...
Me: Well, that's a 'new turn' in her life...
I'm sleeping on the couch tonight, I guess...
My son just put a small toy plane on the tree
And then said "it's just a plain ornament. Get it? Because it doesn't have decoration but it's also a plane". I was pretty proud
Play-Doh has been one of the most popular toys in America for over 50 years.
"They have sold over a billion of cans of this stuff. You could say it has made the company A LOT of dough."
Quote from Rick Harrison of Pawn Stars. I find it hard to believe that he is not the face of Dad Jokes. There are at least 5 per episode. I can only assume in real life it is more like 20 hundred bajillion per day.
My Dad did this while walking through the toy section in a store.
He was walking behind me through the store and I noticed that he wasn't replying in conversation so I turned around and he wasn't there. I went to look for him and as I'm walking down an aisle and all of a sudden he comes around the corner at the end of the aisle with a Darth Vader helmet (no voice changer but he made it work) and he says "I am your father!" I could not stop laughing, happy birthday Dad.
Getting my toy drone stuck in a tree hasn’t been the worst thing that happened to me today.
But it’s definitely up there.
My toy drone just got stuck in a tree. It’s not the least favorite thing that happened to me today,..
but it is definitely up there .
Did you hear about the large petrol truck that liked to fix gadgets and mechanical toys?
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