Despite being tiny, the Republic of Ireland has the capital city with the highest population growth in the world...
I went to the park the other day and saw a guy flying one of those tiny RC quadcopters.
I asked him about it and that was a mistake.
He just kept droning on and on!
You want the names of the tiny shrimp secret agents?
Sure, I could tell you...but then I’d have to krill you.
My friend called me in a panic and shouted, “An evil wizard turned me into a tiny harp! I don’t know what to do!” Frantically, I drove all the way to his house only to find out...
...he’s really a big lyre.
Did you hear about the guy who makes comics out of tiny colourful plastic discs?
He is a sequintial artist.
Did you hear about the spies who planted tiny microphones inside a box of tic-tacs?
Cops should feed beans on very tiny plates to the suspects they're interrogating.
That way they're always gonna end up spilling the beans.
What do you call tiny dead crustaceans on the highway?
Roadkrill.
(My eight-year-old came up with this one all on his own.)
I've just got some new glasses, and when I first put them on, I could see tiny little people with wings at the end of the garden. I rang my optician to report the problem, but he said it was completely normal with these glasses...
What’s tiny and can be found on the beach?
My math teacher walked into the classroom, wrote a tiny number "7" on the board, then walked back out again.
I thought, that's a little odd.
In France, when the honey bee revolution began they broke out a tiny little guillotine for the Queen...but she laughed in their faces.
No matter how much they tried, the guillotine wouldn't work. When the chief executioner examined the situation it was clear why, she had already been "bee-headed"
An accident at the local miniature horse factory caused a tiny horse to get stuck on a worker's rectum.
Doctors describe his condition as(s) stable.
In the summer, I earn money by sprinkling tiny drops of water every morning on the front yards of rich people.
I don’t earn much, but I make dew.
I went to the library to get the new book about tiny penises
Librarian said 'I don't think it's in yet'
I said 'that's the one'
Did you hear about the tiny fortune teller that escaped from jail?
It’s a small medium at large
Why was the tiny poop yawning?
What are the tiny sacs in an Italian Man’s lungs called?
I was serving my friend a roast in my tiny shoebox apartment. He boasted that he could cook the same dish in a mere two hours...
But I cooked it in a minute flat.
I asked my dad what he thought about the tiny seagull that robbed the liquor store....
He said it was “a-wee-gull”
Why did the tiny ghost join the football team?
He heard they needed a little team spirit.
How do tiny bakers spice it up in the bedroom?
Picked up a tiny habanero in the supermarket yesterday to describe the weather...
... it was a little chilly.
To the tiny organisms upon which the blue whale feeds, the whale appears to be a stone cold kriller.
Why did people call the late man a tiny ass?
Because he was a little behind.
The craft store is selling tiny wood coffins for Hallowe'en decorations.
I took one to my girlfriend, went down to one knee, presented the little black casket. I said, "Jamie, would you bury me?"
Come home for the weekend, mom find an old pair or my jeans. "Are these tiny pants" ....
Dad from 3 rooms over yells out "Hold me closer tiny pantser!"
You know what they say about Tiny Tim the speed-walking ant, eh?
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