Which is the bird that can do the things that you can do, as well?

The Toocan.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/xoriatis71
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2021
🚨︎ report
I remember standing in solitude, at the end of the long landing overlooking the Pacific Ocean - this disembodied voice was urging me to jump, so I did...

I never could stand up to pier pressure.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2021
🚨︎ report
This is the last thing I need
πŸ‘︎ 4k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/discovid19
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2021
🚨︎ report
Two potatoes are standing on the street corner. How do you know which one’s a prostitute?

The one with the stickers that says IDAHO πŸ˜‚

πŸ‘︎ 368
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JennJenn5436
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2021
🚨︎ report
Did you know that 10+10 and 11+11 are the same thing?

Because 10+10 is twenty and 11+11 is twenty too..

πŸ‘︎ 264
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Lewzerman
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2021
🚨︎ report
What’s the worst thing about having a job at the unemployment office?

If you get fired, you still have to show up the next day.

πŸ‘︎ 9k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/2donutkid2
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2021
🚨︎ report
If you spell the words β€œAbsolutely Nothing” backwards, you get β€œGnihton Yletulosba,” which ironically means...

Absolutely nothing.

πŸ‘︎ 13k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheRealTripleH
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2021
🚨︎ report
Alright guys, which is the best name for a llama? (All pun based)
πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JeannaLeavy
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2021
🚨︎ report
Which one of King Arthur’s knights named the Round Table?

Sir Cumference

πŸ‘︎ 41
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2021
🚨︎ report
The hardest thing about wrapping paper is...

Not many words rhyme with β€œpaper”.

πŸ‘︎ 99
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jeremec
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2021
🚨︎ report
An American wants to enter a nightclub

Together with some friends from abroad, an Afghan, an Albanian, and Algerian, an Andorran, an Angolan, an Antiguan, an Argintine, an Armenian, and Austrailian, an Austrian, an Azerbaijani, a Bahamian, a Bahraini, a Bangladeshi, a Barbadian, a Barbudans, a Batswanan, a Belarusian, a Belgian, a Belizean, a Beninese, a Bhutanese, a Bolivian, a Bosnian, a Brazilian, a Brit, a Bruneian, a Bulgarian, a Burkinabe, a Burmese, a Burundian, a Cambodian, a Cameroonian, a Canadian, a Cape Verdean, a Central African, a Chadian, a Chilean, a Chinese, a Colombian, a Comoran, a Congolese, a Costa Rican, a Croatian, a Cuban, a Cypriot, a Czech, a Dane, a Djibouti, a Dominican, a Dutchman, an East Timorese, an Ecuadorean, an Egyptian, an Emirian, an Equatorial Guinean, an Eritrean, an Estonian, an Ethiopian, a Fijian, a Filipino, a Finn, a Frenchman, a Gabonese, a Gambian, a Georgian, a German, a Ghanaian, a Greek, a Grenadian, a Guatemalan, a Guinea-Bissauan, a Guinean, a Guyanese, a Haitian, a Herzegovinian, a Honduran, a Hungarian, an I-Kiribati, an Icelander, an Indian, an Indonesian, an Iranian, an Iraqi, an Irishman, an Israeli, an Italian, an Ivorian, a Jamaican, a Japanese, a Jordanian, a Kazakhstani, a Kenyan, a Kittian and Nevisian, a Kuwaiti, a Kyrgyz, a Laotian, a Latvian, a Lebanese, a Liberian, a Libyan, a Liechtensteiner, a Lithuanian, a Luxembourger, a Macedonian, a Malagasy, a Malawian, a Malaysian, a Maldivan, a Malian, a Maltese, a Marshallese, a Mauritanian, a Mauritian, a Mexican, a Micronesian, a Moldovan, a Monacan, a Mongolian, a Moroccan, a Mosotho, a Motswana, a Mozambican, a Namibian, a Nauruan, a Nepalese, a New Zealander, a Nicaraguan, a Nigerian, a Nigerien, a North Korean, a Northern Irishman, a Norwegian, an Omani, a Pakistani, a Palauan, a Palestinian, a Panamanian, a Papua New Guinean, a Paraguayan, a Peruvian, a Pole, a Portuguese, a Qatari, a Romanian, a Russian, a Rwandan, a Saint Lucian, a Salvadoran, a Samoan, a San Marinese, a Sao Tomean, a Saudi, a Scottish, a Senegalese, a Serbian, a Seychellois, a Sierra Leonean, a Singaporean, a Slovakian, a Slovenian, a Solomon Islander, a Somali, a South African, a South Korean, a Spaniard, a Sri Lankan, a Sudanese, a Surinamer, a Swazi, a Swede, a Swiss, a Syrian, a Taiwanese, a Tajik, a Tanzanian, a Togolese, a Tongan, a Trinidadian or Tobagonian, a Tunisian, a Turkish, a Tuvaluan, a Ugandan, a Ukrainian, a Uruguayan, a Uzbekistani, a Venezuelan, a Vietnamese, a Welshman, a Yemenite, a Zambian

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 2k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/leemhuis
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2021
🚨︎ report
Yesterday, my friend and I got into an argument over which vowel was the best

I won.

πŸ‘︎ 129
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/spwf
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2021
🚨︎ report
A reporter interviewed a 103-year old woman: β€œAnd what is the best thing about being 103?” the reporter asked.

The woman simply replied, β€œNo peer pressure.”

πŸ‘︎ 6k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/decentname99
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2021
🚨︎ report
Which is the most successful fruit? mElon Musk
πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/purpleyak99
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2021
🚨︎ report
Which tree wishes things were more like they used to be?

Pine

πŸ‘︎ 24
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Stiney86
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2021
🚨︎ report
Help me come up with puns which include the name Todd
πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jahmelie
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07 2021
🚨︎ report
Which letter of the alphabet is the most curious?

Y.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DENelson83
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2021
🚨︎ report
Which day of the week do chickens hate the most?

Fry-day

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Pooinurpants
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2021
🚨︎ report
I came home really drunk last night and my wife wasn’t happy at all. β€œHow much have you had to drink?” she asked sternly, staring at me. β€œNothing” I slurred. β€œLook at me!” she shouted. β€œIt’s either me or the pub, which one is it?”

I paused for a second while I thought and mumbled, β€œIt’s you. I can tell by the voice.”

πŸ‘︎ 16k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife asked me which paddle I wanted to use in the boat...

I answered β€œeither/oar.”

πŸ‘︎ 178
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ZENFatherBardock
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2021
🚨︎ report
Which name for a man is the most colourful?

Hugh.

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DENelson83
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call the thing which ruins the ending of a movie?
πŸ‘︎ 12k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sodomicity
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2019
🚨︎ report
Which animals are the biggest nerds?

Fish, because they spend all their time in schools

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/martianrome
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2021
🚨︎ report
Which mountains have the best nuts?

The Andeez.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/48HoursADay
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2021
🚨︎ report
Kid: "Dad, whats the best thing you made with Legos?"

Dad: "Friendships"

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TTSTBTJBB
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2021
🚨︎ report
My doctor says that when you die, your pupils are the last thing to go.

Because they dilate.

πŸ‘︎ 1k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kdlaz
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2021
🚨︎ report
What's the best thing about Switzerland?

In my opinion it's the flag, it's a great plus.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Pooinurpants
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2021
🚨︎ report
Disclaimer: this is my 5 year old son's joke. He is a dad in the making. "Everest is the biggest mountain. Mount Fuji is the prettiest. Which mountain is the stinkiest?"

K-Poo.

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Musicferret
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2021
🚨︎ report
On which side of the earth should you build a house?

On the outside

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/martianrome
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2021
🚨︎ report
My wife and I received nothing from our wedding guests but colanders. There musta been 500 of the damned thing.

It really put a strain on our marriage.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2021
🚨︎ report
Which rapper can you find in the refrigerator?

Ice Cube.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/YourOwnBiggestFan
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2021
🚨︎ report
What’s the best thing about Switzerland?

I don’t know but their flag is a big plus

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LeGiant69
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2021
🚨︎ report
What was the event that got things rolling?

The invention of the wheel.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/iamDansky
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2021
🚨︎ report
The hardest thing about working in the calendar factory

Is trying to take a day off

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Dinnen1
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2021
🚨︎ report
How to tell which end of a worm is the head?

You tickle it. The end that laughs is the head.

Credit: My 7y.o nephew

πŸ‘︎ 28
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/redzzdelady
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2021
🚨︎ report
Which color is the fastest?

Red, because it is always redy

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/-Master_Mind-
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2021
🚨︎ report
Every morning, I like to stand in front of a mirror and think about all the good things I've done.

It's just a moment of reflection.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Sodrohu
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2021
🚨︎ report
what’s the worst thing about having an apple addiction?

you can’t see a doctor about it

πŸ‘︎ 58
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/chickenman2359
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2021
🚨︎ report
The last thing my dad said to me before he kicked the bucket?

I wonder how far I can kick this bucket

πŸ‘︎ 56
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07 2021
🚨︎ report
Which is the astronaut's favorite key on the keyboard?

The space bar.

πŸ‘︎ 26
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CantPickCoffee
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2021
🚨︎ report
Which superhero is be the best at baseball?

Batman

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cbfw86
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2021
🚨︎ report
What language do things that fly in the sky speak....

Plane english

My 6yo laid this one on me and I hadn't heard it before so thought it might be enjoyed here

πŸ‘︎ 24
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Jimmyhiggo
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2021
🚨︎ report
Which Spice Girl can hold the most petrol?

Gerry can.

πŸ‘︎ 28
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Snozzcumberbatch
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2021
🚨︎ report
Today I saw my wife walk by with her sexiest underwear on, which could mean just one thing.

It’s laundry day.

πŸ‘︎ 118
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2020
🚨︎ report
Which weapon does the Grim Reaper use in the winter?

An ice sickle.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Derpvboii
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2021
🚨︎ report
Which animal has the biggest breasts

A zebra

πŸ‘︎ 10k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Zeke_Smith
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2020
🚨︎ report
I hope that the universe keeps on expanding forever so all the heat runs out some day. It means that eventually things are gonna be 0 K
πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/B_Baerbel
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2021
🚨︎ report
The worst thing about being fired from the unemployment office

Is that you have go back the next day.

πŸ‘︎ 50
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PensionNo8124
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2021
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.