Which is the bird that can do the things that you can do, as well?

The Toocan.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 5
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/xoriatis71
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 10 2021
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
I remember standing in solitude, at the end of the long landing overlooking the Pacific Ocean - this disembodied voice was urging me to jump, so I did...

I never could stand up to pier pressure.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 9
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/DinglebarryHandpump
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 21 2021
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
This is the last thing I need
๐Ÿ‘︎ 4k
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/discovid19
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 24 2021
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Two potatoes are standing on the street corner. How do you know which oneโ€™s a prostitute?

The one with the stickers that says IDAHO ๐Ÿ˜‚

๐Ÿ‘︎ 368
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/JennJenn5436
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 16 2021
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Did you know that 10+10 and 11+11 are the same thing?

Because 10+10 is twenty and 11+11 is twenty too..

๐Ÿ‘︎ 264
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Lewzerman
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 18 2021
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Whatโ€™s the worst thing about having a job at the unemployment office?

If you get fired, you still have to show up the next day.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 9k
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/2donutkid2
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 31 2021
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
If you spell the words โ€œAbsolutely Nothingโ€ backwards, you get โ€œGnihton Yletulosba,โ€ which ironically means...

Absolutely nothing.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 13k
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/TheRealTripleH
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 15 2021
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Alright guys, which is the best name for a llama? (All pun based)
๐Ÿ‘︎ 7
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/JeannaLeavy
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 10 2021
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Which one of King Arthurโ€™s knights named the Round Table?

Sir Cumference

๐Ÿ‘︎ 41
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/i_brought_the_eggs
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 18 2021
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
The hardest thing about wrapping paper is...

Not many words rhyme with โ€œpaperโ€.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 99
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/jeremec
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 24 2021
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
An American wants to enter a nightclub

Together with some friends from abroad, an Afghan, an Albanian, and Algerian, an Andorran, an Angolan, an Antiguan, an Argintine, an Armenian, and Austrailian, an Austrian, an Azerbaijani, a Bahamian, a Bahraini, a Bangladeshi, a Barbadian, a Barbudans, a Batswanan, a Belarusian, a Belgian, a Belizean, a Beninese, a Bhutanese, a Bolivian, a Bosnian, a Brazilian, a Brit, a Bruneian, a Bulgarian, a Burkinabe, a Burmese, a Burundian, a Cambodian, a Cameroonian, a Canadian, a Cape Verdean, a Central African, a Chadian, a Chilean, a Chinese, a Colombian, a Comoran, a Congolese, a Costa Rican, a Croatian, a Cuban, a Cypriot, a Czech, a Dane, a Djibouti, a Dominican, a Dutchman, an East Timorese, an Ecuadorean, an Egyptian, an Emirian, an Equatorial Guinean, an Eritrean, an Estonian, an Ethiopian, a Fijian, a Filipino, a Finn, a Frenchman, a Gabonese, a Gambian, a Georgian, a German, a Ghanaian, a Greek, a Grenadian, a Guatemalan, a Guinea-Bissauan, a Guinean, a Guyanese, a Haitian, a Herzegovinian, a Honduran, a Hungarian, an I-Kiribati, an Icelander, an Indian, an Indonesian, an Iranian, an Iraqi, an Irishman, an Israeli, an Italian, an Ivorian, a Jamaican, a Japanese, a Jordanian, a Kazakhstani, a Kenyan, a Kittian and Nevisian, a Kuwaiti, a Kyrgyz, a Laotian, a Latvian, a Lebanese, a Liberian, a Libyan, a Liechtensteiner, a Lithuanian, a Luxembourger, a Macedonian, a Malagasy, a Malawian, a Malaysian, a Maldivan, a Malian, a Maltese, a Marshallese, a Mauritanian, a Mauritian, a Mexican, a Micronesian, a Moldovan, a Monacan, a Mongolian, a Moroccan, a Mosotho, a Motswana, a Mozambican, a Namibian, a Nauruan, a Nepalese, a New Zealander, a Nicaraguan, a Nigerian, a Nigerien, a North Korean, a Northern Irishman, a Norwegian, an Omani, a Pakistani, a Palauan, a Palestinian, a Panamanian, a Papua New Guinean, a Paraguayan, a Peruvian, a Pole, a Portuguese, a Qatari, a Romanian, a Russian, a Rwandan, a Saint Lucian, a Salvadoran, a Samoan, a San Marinese, a Sao Tomean, a Saudi, a Scottish, a Senegalese, a Serbian, a Seychellois, a Sierra Leonean, a Singaporean, a Slovakian, a Slovenian, a Solomon Islander, a Somali, a South African, a South Korean, a Spaniard, a Sri Lankan, a Sudanese, a Surinamer, a Swazi, a Swede, a Swiss, a Syrian, a Taiwanese, a Tajik, a Tanzanian, a Togolese, a Tongan, a Trinidadian or Tobagonian, a Tunisian, a Turkish, a Tuvaluan, a Ugandan, a Ukrainian, a Uruguayan, a Uzbekistani, a Venezuelan, a Vietnamese, a Welshman, a Yemenite, a Zambian

... keep reading on reddit โžก

๐Ÿ‘︎ 2k
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/leemhuis
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 12 2021
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Yesterday, my friend and I got into an argument over which vowel was the best

I won.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 129
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/spwf
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 28 2021
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
A reporter interviewed a 103-year old woman: โ€œAnd what is the best thing about being 103?โ€ the reporter asked.

The woman simply replied, โ€œNo peer pressure.โ€

๐Ÿ‘︎ 6k
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/decentname99
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 12 2021
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Which is the most successful fruit? mElon Musk
๐Ÿ‘︎ 8
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/purpleyak99
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 07 2021
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Which tree wishes things were more like they used to be?

Pine

๐Ÿ‘︎ 24
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Stiney86
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 06 2021
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Help me come up with puns which include the name Todd
๐Ÿ‘︎ 5
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/jahmelie
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 07 2021
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Which letter of the alphabet is the most curious?

Y.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 8
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/DENelson83
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 12 2021
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Which day of the week do chickens hate the most?

Fry-day

๐Ÿ‘︎ 9
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Pooinurpants
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 18 2021
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
I came home really drunk last night and my wife wasnโ€™t happy at all. โ€œHow much have you had to drink?โ€ she asked sternly, staring at me. โ€œNothingโ€ I slurred. โ€œLook at me!โ€ she shouted. โ€œItโ€™s either me or the pub, which one is it?โ€

I paused for a second while I thought and mumbled, โ€œItโ€™s you. I can tell by the voice.โ€

๐Ÿ‘︎ 16k
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 27 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
My wife asked me which paddle I wanted to use in the boat...

I answered โ€œeither/oar.โ€

๐Ÿ‘︎ 178
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/ZENFatherBardock
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 04 2021
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Which name for a man is the most colourful?

Hugh.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 17
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/DENelson83
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 19 2021
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
What do you call the thing which ruins the ending of a movie?
๐Ÿ‘︎ 12k
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/sodomicity
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 13 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Which animals are the biggest nerds?

Fish, because they spend all their time in schools

๐Ÿ‘︎ 12
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/martianrome
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 02 2021
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Which mountains have the best nuts?

The Andeez.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 5
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/48HoursADay
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 03 2021
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Kid: "Dad, whats the best thing you made with Legos?"

Dad: "Friendships"

๐Ÿ‘︎ 8
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/TTSTBTJBB
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 15 2021
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
My doctor says that when you die, your pupils are the last thing to go.

Because they dilate.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 1k
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/kdlaz
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 18 2021
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
What's the best thing about Switzerland?

In my opinion it's the flag, it's a great plus.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 8
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Pooinurpants
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 15 2021
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Disclaimer: this is my 5 year old son's joke. He is a dad in the making. "Everest is the biggest mountain. Mount Fuji is the prettiest. Which mountain is the stinkiest?"

K-Poo.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 14
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Musicferret
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 22 2021
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
On which side of the earth should you build a house?

On the outside

๐Ÿ‘︎ 11
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/martianrome
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 02 2021
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
My wife and I received nothing from our wedding guests but colanders. There musta been 500 of the damned thing.

It really put a strain on our marriage.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 8
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/thomasbrakeline
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 04 2021
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Which rapper can you find in the refrigerator?

Ice Cube.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 7
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/YourOwnBiggestFan
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 06 2021
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Whatโ€™s the best thing about Switzerland?

I donโ€™t know but their flag is a big plus

๐Ÿ‘︎ 9
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/LeGiant69
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 04 2021
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
What was the event that got things rolling?

The invention of the wheel.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 10
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/iamDansky
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 15 2021
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
The hardest thing about working in the calendar factory

Is trying to take a day off

๐Ÿ‘︎ 8
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Dinnen1
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 15 2021
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
How to tell which end of a worm is the head?

You tickle it. The end that laughs is the head.

Credit: My 7y.o nephew

๐Ÿ‘︎ 28
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/redzzdelady
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 20 2021
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Which color is the fastest?

Red, because it is always redy

๐Ÿ‘︎ 10
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/-Master_Mind-
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 11 2021
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Every morning, I like to stand in front of a mirror and think about all the good things I've done.

It's just a moment of reflection.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 10
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Sodrohu
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 10 2021
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
whatโ€™s the worst thing about having an apple addiction?

you canโ€™t see a doctor about it

๐Ÿ‘︎ 58
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/chickenman2359
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 20 2021
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
The last thing my dad said to me before he kicked the bucket?

I wonder how far I can kick this bucket

๐Ÿ‘︎ 56
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 07 2021
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Which is the astronaut's favorite key on the keyboard?

The space bar.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 26
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/CantPickCoffee
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 31 2021
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Which superhero is be the best at baseball?

Batman

๐Ÿ‘︎ 11
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/cbfw86
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 20 2021
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
What language do things that fly in the sky speak....

Plane english

My 6yo laid this one on me and I hadn't heard it before so thought it might be enjoyed here

๐Ÿ‘︎ 24
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Jimmyhiggo
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 01 2021
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Which Spice Girl can hold the most petrol?

Gerry can.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 28
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Snozzcumberbatch
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 01 2021
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Today I saw my wife walk by with her sexiest underwear on, which could mean just one thing.

Itโ€™s laundry day.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 118
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/porichoygupto
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 17 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Which weapon does the Grim Reaper use in the winter?

An ice sickle.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 8
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Derpvboii
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 26 2021
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Which animal has the biggest breasts

A zebra

๐Ÿ‘︎ 10k
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Zeke_Smith
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 28 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
I hope that the universe keeps on expanding forever so all the heat runs out some day. It means that eventually things are gonna be 0 K
๐Ÿ‘︎ 9
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/B_Baerbel
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 08 2021
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
The worst thing about being fired from the unemployment office

Is that you have go back the next day.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 50
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/PensionNo8124
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 06 2021
๐Ÿšจ︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.