I got voted in as Chairman of the Walkie-Talkie Association today

The vote was 10 - 4

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cotswoldboy
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2019
🚨︎ report
There was this tramp…

One cold winter's morning he was walking along a country road, when he heard a cry for help from a nearby lake.

He turned to see a little girl struggling in the broken ice in the middle of the lake. She'd been skating and had fallen into the icy water. Without a moment's hesitation the tramp ran onto the ice and slipped and slided over to the little girl. He managed to pull her out without breaking the ice further and he carried her back to the road.

He took off his coat and wrapped the little girl in it and began looking for a car to flag down. A few moments later a huge chauffeur-driven limo pulled up, and who stepped out but the little girl's father - the mayor of the nearby town and a multi-millionaire.

"How can I ever thank you sir?" says the father after putting his daughterinto the warmth of the limo.

"Just name your price - I'm a wealthy man."

"Ahem, well ..." stammered the tramp "...eh I'm a little short of cash, perhaps you could help me out"

"Certainly" says the girl's father and he pulls out his wallet.

"Oh dear" says the father, "I don't carry much cash with me, I only have ten dollars - but come home with me and I'll get more from the safe"

"No! No!" says the tramp, "Why ten dollars is more money than I've seen in my whole life - that will be plenty".

"Well, if you insist" says the father - "now what will you do with your money?"

"Oh that's easy" says the tramp "I've not had a rest in 20 years. I think I'll buy myself a holiday"

"Well good luck" says the father, and he gets into the car and signals his chauffeur to drive home.

"Ten Dollars" thinks the tramp, "I'm rich! I'm rich!", and off he goes to the town, to buy himself a holiday.

He finds a travel agent, walks in - much to the disgust of the staff - and goes up to the desk.

"I'll have one holiday please!"

"Ahem, which holiday would sir like" asked the girl at the desk, forcing a smile.

"Oh, any holiday I don't mind" replied the tramp.

"Well how much money does sir have to spend on sir's holiday?"

"Oh lots - anything up to ten dollars"

"TEN DOLLARS!! You'll never get a holiday for ten dollars" says the girl incredulously.

"Oh dear" said the tramp, "and I was so looking forward to a holiday - I'll probably never get another chance - isn't there anything you can do?"

"Well I don't think so sir, but hold on and I'll check"

The girl goes into the back of the shop, and searches in the deepest, dustiest filing drawers she can find. There - to her amazement -

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FancyAlligator
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2022
🚨︎ report
What did the inventor of the walkie-talkie call a nightmare?

A screamie dreamie.

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/NuccSucc
πŸ“…︎ Mar 14 2019
🚨︎ report
......not mine (credits to the person it belongs to.....

Wife: Our relationship is over.................... Me (through the walkie-talkie): Our relationship is what?, Over...

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/varun_chakilam
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2019
🚨︎ report
An okapi walks into a large print shop.

He's carrying a piece of paper; the only thing on it is a large letter O. Asks the clerk if he can get it printed onto ten pieces of paper, immediately.

The clerk (in this particular shop) has to use a walkie-talkie to communicate with the staff in the back room to see if they can do the job right now.

"An okapi wants O copies. Copy?"

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RonPalancik
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2017
🚨︎ report
My dad dropped this one on me today

*I'm playing the piano and my dad walks in Dad: Hey son! What note is this!? Me: Uh what are you talki- *dad farts very loudly Dad: An F shart!

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Jakefun
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2014
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.