Where do all the super heroes in South Africa come from?
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︎ Apr 15 2021
I was super surprised when the cashier wouldnβt give me her number.
I couldβve sworn she was checking me out.
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︎ Mar 31 2021
After getting my first vaccine I asked the nurse what super power do I get, but she just looked straight through me.
Looks like I might have invisibility!
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︎ Apr 06 2021
My kids recently been super obsessed with the moon and my wife is starting to get worried.
I told her not to worry, itβs only a phase.
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︎ Feb 18 2021
Corona didnβt need an ad in the Super Bowl for their beer.
Itβs already gone viral.
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︎ Feb 07 2021
What causes all the super-yachts to squeeze together in the same tourist spots?
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︎ Feb 17 2021
My wife asked me to pass her the lip balm, and by mistake I gave her a tube of Super Glue.
Itβs been a week now and sheβs still not talking to me.
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︎ Dec 23 2020
Why did the man give his wife a box of Super Poli-Grip after their fight?
Because it's a great fix-a-tiff.
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︎ Feb 10 2021
They're gonna sell corn on the cob at the Super Bowl, and it's rumored to be cheap.
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︎ Jan 25 2021
I finally went to talk to the super cute girl who works in the Egyptian super market.
Her: What can I do for you?
Me: I'm looking for a date.
Her: Oh, what kind of dates?
Me: Uhmm, just dinner and a movie :)
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︎ Jan 08 2021
Introducing the new rhyme speaking Green Onion with the super tight back beat! Please welcome the one! The only---
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︎ Sep 26 2020
I had to choose between three cats. The first was super affectionate, like a dog. The second prefers to be alone all the time. I picked the third, whose personality is somewhere in between.
I named him Meat Loaf because he would do anything for love, but he wonβt do that.
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︎ Nov 08 2020
Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
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︎ Apr 17 2020
Why is Toad the most popular character in the Super Mario World?
Because he's a real fungi!
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︎ Sep 16 2020
Everyone was super stoked at the surgeon ward party.
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︎ Aug 25 2020
Deep in the villainβs super secret base
Deep in the villainβs super secret base, he noticed that his 10β concrete filled steel walls looked bare. He asked his minions why was there no large, artistic rendering of his terrifying logo hanging behind his desk.
His minions replied, βWeβve tried everywhere, but weβve been unable to find a sketchy artist.β
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︎ Jul 07 2020
If the Super Bowl went into overtime, does that mean the first 4 quarters were just a really long commercial since the game was Tide?
I really hope Tide had another commercial ready just in case.
Edit: Thank you for the Reddit Gold, kind stranger! My first!
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︎ Feb 06 2018
Who's the fastest super hero?
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︎ May 02 2020
Thank god Canadaβs not the global super power
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︎ Jan 17 2020
Taking the Browns to the Super Bowl shouldnβt be a metaphor for pooping
It should be a metaphor for constipation
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︎ May 05 2020
What company owns the rights to Super Bowl 59?
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︎ Apr 19 2020
My friend Adam was telling me how, in addition to marrying a hot super model whose daddy bought the house he lives in and the car he drives just for marrying his daughter, he was also sexing up a hot stewardess. I found it hard to believe...
Because Adams make up everything!
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︎ Nov 20 2019
Iβve always been super confused as to why my dad always brings an extra pair of socks to the golf course.
According to him, itβs in case he gets a hole in one.
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︎ Jun 11 2019
Did you ever hear about the super-secret nunchuck technique?
Well itβs nun of your chucking business.
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︎ Aug 05 2019
I met this super hot beekeeper the other day.
But I guess you could always say, beauty is in the eye of the beeholder
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︎ Jul 16 2019
Eventually, weβre all doomed to end up in super modern offices where the walls are whiteboards
The writing is on the wall
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︎ Dec 10 2019
My son saw a sign that said 'please keep children under supervision' and asked "dad, have you got super vision?". I never thought of the word 'supervision' that way before.
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︎ Sep 01 2018
My wife got super angry when I told her I put ginger in the curry
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︎ Aug 30 2019
There's this guy who's been staying in one spot at the park for days without sitting or laying. People are calling him super amazing. I personally just think..
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︎ Sep 13 2019
My dad asked me which Super Bowl commercial I liked better, the Doritos one or the Mountain Dew one.
I told him, "It's a tie, dad"
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︎ Feb 21 2018
Did you hear about the diamond, super short sword that Annie the Orphan found?
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︎ Nov 18 2019
"We don't need a fishy super hero!" The land locked victims exclaimed.
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︎ Dec 19 2019
"Hey, Seattle, wanna win the Super Bowl?"
"No, thanks. We'll pass."
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︎ Feb 02 2015
Guys! The CEO of Samsung is super popular now...
...His phone is blowing up
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︎ Sep 03 2016
6 years ago today on my birthday. The Baltimore Ravens have won two Super Bowls, both on February 3rd. All a Baltimore boy would like for his cake day is some purple fever! I believe #20 intercepted Colin's ball hence "Ed Reads". I crack myself up.
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︎ Feb 03 2019
The store had a TV on sale super cheap, but the volume was stuck all the way up.
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︎ Jul 11 2019
Did you hear about the super spy who was really into 50's era slang?
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︎ Apr 11 2019
You are a super villain who can scream supersonic classical music, you name is Bach the Fuck up. Would you rather rob banks for a living, or would you rather cause random chaos in the streets?
reddit.com/r/WouldYouRathβ¦
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︎ Oct 20 2018
Women really know how to hold grudges over the smallest things. My wife asked me to pass her the lip balm, and by mistake, I gave her a tube of Super Glue.
It's been a week now and she's still not talking to me.
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︎ Aug 25 2019
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