Why did the student take the online test at a Cafe?
Because the customer is always right.
Why were the students the last to pass away?
What is the only type of math a forestry student is good at?
What did the Language student say when he graduated?
I’m a pro now with pronouns!
What did the calculator say to the student?
The students weren't doing what they were asked to...
The teacher taught them a lesson afterwards.
What did the Spanish student say to his Dad as he moved to the big city?
A Kung Fu student asks his teacher, "Master, why does my ability not improve? I'm always defeated." And the master, pensive and forever patient, answers, "My dear pupil, have you seen the gulls flying by the setting sun and their wings seeming like flames?"
"Yes, my master, I have."
"And a waterfall, spilling mightly over the stones without taking anything out of its proper place?"
"Yes, my master, I have witnessed it."
"And the moon, when it touches the calm water to reflect all its enormous beauty?"
"Yes, my master, I have also seen this marvelous phenomenon."
"That is the problem. You keep watching all this shit instead of training."
Why did the student throw a 64 pack of Crayola crayons at his art teacher after he was done with his test?
He wanted to pass with flying colors.
I thought of that myself.
What did the professor say when the Urology student did not know the technical name for pee?
If Arnold Schwarzeneter was a student he would be the mid-terminater
If Arnold Schwarzeneter was a student he would be the mid-terminater
A student was writing a paper for school and kept mixing up the words "burro" and "burrow"
The teacher told him "you don't know your ass from a hole in the ground"
I'm a teacher and every day I write a Dad Joke from this sub on the board. Today a student said this to me... I was about to go off... before I got the Dad Joke.
Student: "Sir, someone nutted on the floor!"
Me: *Begins to get angry* *Turns around... there's a hex nut on the floor*
Me: "Well played."
At the beginning of the term, my university professor makes all of his students buy the book that he wrote.
Why did the students at the Greek school of sky-diving complain?
Their instructor was Con Descending.
In history class, the teacher taught said the Magna Carta was signed in 1215 and to write an essay on it. A student handed in his work with "The Magna Carta was signed in 1215" written 150 times.
The teacher asked the boy, "Why did you write this?" The boy replied, "Because you always say that history repeats itself!"
Why wasn’t the honey farmer a straight A student?
He brought home nothing but bees.
According to my sewing instructor, I'm easily the worst student she's ever had.
Oops... sorry, wrong thread !
what did the school staff do when a student wore a shirt with a picture of a robber?
Did you hear about the alcoholic law student?
She couldn't pass the bar.
A meteorology student did research on the necessity of temperature change when he was in college.
It was a degree requirement.
Did you hear about the students complaining of aches and fatigue when they did math homework?
They're calling it fibromyalgebra.
My kid’s chemistry teacher was arrested in class yesterday. He was pouring out teaspoons of sodium chloride for each student, but because the class was rowdy, he kept losing his place and having to start over.
The police charged him with multiple counts of a salt.
A history student was so enamored with Ancient Rome that he decided to become a Roman himself. His friends weren’t very supportive. They kept telling him to “Get with the times...
I was part of a class and i total , we were 100 students. I walked up to the front of the class , and wrote :"balloons" on the white board. So...
The other 99 read balloons.
Why did the students eat their homework?
Because the teacher said it’s a piece of cake!
Can I claim an Eastern European exchange student as a dependent to reduce my income below the phaseout threshold?
I’m hoping to get a stimulus Czech.
Why did the student take her math homework to gym class?
She wanted to work out her problems
Why did the student get a pear before his test?
He wanted to make sure he was pre-pear-ed!
Teacher asked “What is the formula of water?” Student said “H I J K L M N O” teacher said “that’s not the formula of water”
Student said “you said the formula was H to O”.
A nominee for director of the math department at my school was caught having an affair with her student...
Student: Can I go to the bathroom? Teacher: It’s may.
Student: No, it’s January
What did the student say after visiting the Thomas Edison Museum?
I enjoyed being enlightened
Why did the architecture student get points off on his blueprint of a Soviet house?
Unnecessary Marx and Engels.
Why did the student do multiplication problems on the floor?
The teacher told him not to use tables
Some students needed help calculating the number of food and drinks they'd need for a party. Their teacher responds...
"What's the equation? (occasion)"
During my time as a PhD student I used to draw stupid puns on the whiteboard. This is one of my favourites.
A taekwondo student walks up to the seller in a doughnut store. What did the seller say?
I asked my French exchange student if he went to the bathroom before we got into the car
Why did the Oklahoma student keep rushing everything?
What did the student do after smoking weed ?
My sewing instructor just told me that I’m the worst student she has ever seen.
My sewing instructor thinks I’m the worst student she has ever seen.
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