My friend, the anthropomorphic cell phone was in dire Straits

He walked into the police station and yelled "help! I'm on five per cent!" First, a cop punched him. Then, one of them plugged him in to a power bank Suddenly he had reached 100%. It was a miracle They charged him with assault and battery

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πŸ‘€︎ u/WalterNewton
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2021
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Dire Straits and Chris Rea are getting together. The new group will be called Dire Rea.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cwwspurs
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2019
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The stormy seafarer

One stormy evening, a seafarer was thrown overboard whilst passing through the strait of Dover. As luck would have it, the ocean currents pulled him unconscious to the English coastline, where he was found and revived by a man adorned in a cape, deerstalker hat and smoking a pipe.

When coming to and looking up, bleary eyed at the great, chalky White cliffs before him. The man exclaimed "What on earth is that wonderful rock formation", and his saviour replied "why, it's sedimentary my dear flotsam".

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2021
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Pin a cup of water to the wall.

Dad had a joke he would pull on us then any kid we would bring over. He would announce that he was going to demonstrate how to pin a cup of water to the wall. He would get a cup of water and a strait pin then move a chair over by the wall. He would then proceed to get his victim to hold the pin and the water while he climbed on to the chair. "OK, give me the water!". Then he would make a show of picking out a place to pin it. "Now give me the pin." When they step up to hand him the pin.... he threw the water in their face.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/steveh_2o
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2013
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