The only people to show up to my friend’s funeral were some of his one night stands and some friends from church.
I know that SpongeBob is the title character of the show.
The latest survey shows that 3 out of 4 people....
......make up 75% of the world's population.
The Who once played a show at the mansion of the founder of Tim Hortons
It was the last time Horton heard a Who.
My girlfriend and I only watch the first two-thirds of every Great British Baking Show episode.
The final challenge is a real showstopper.
I can’t believe that even after 15 years of the show ending, people are still making “Friends” references.
No one told me life was gonna be this way.
With the lack of sports on television, networks are going to show the world origami championship.
I recently watched a Reality show about flat earthers trying to find the edge of the world, but it was a little disappointing.
The finale wasn’t a cliffhanger.
Why did the stripper show up at the Board of Elections?
She heard they were looking for poll workers.
I was on a game show and the final question was "What do you call a 3D painting made out of plaster?" I couldn't think of the answer and I was worried I'd lose all of the money. Then I got it right!
Have any of you guys seen the show Constipation on Netflix?
Oh wait, that's right. It hasn't come out yet....
My co-worker Nicholas is rarely late for work meetings, but it often shows up within 2 minutes of the meeting start time
I guess he likes to show up in the nick of time.
What do you call a ghost that haunts the set of a day-time tv talk show?
The Phantom of the Oprah.
Although at times the cops were able to catch up to that orange car on the Dukes of Hazard tv show...
...GeneralLee they weren’t fast enough
The court released the suspect on the grounds of being on an armor show on the night of the murder ...
it was an ironclad alibi!
I put out a weekly audio show about the history of fish.
What reality show is popular on the holodeck of Deep Space Nine?
Keeping up with the Cardassians!
Cemeteries remind me of the TV show Cheers.
It's a place where everyone knows your name.
In the early days of Tesla, they had difficulties getting the CEO to show up on time to meetings, so they trained a puppy to find him and bark until he arrived...
...all they had to say was "get Elon little doggie".
What shows the beauties of the world, but when you look at it, it shows the horrors?
Dammit! I know I have that one half of the ticket which shows I paid!
A comedian would do a set, each show, where he sprinted to either side of the stage with his mouth tied up.
Broadway has a new show that combines magic with the tunes of a 70’s Swedish Pop Band
It’s called ABBA-Cadabra.
"German talent show contestants puts string of sausages up her bum" .. this performance was the wurst
What do you call a member of law enforcement who likes to show people his skills on the Guitar?
My friend tried to get me to join his MLM scheme of selling devices for establishing a horizontal line by means of a bubble in a liquid that shows adjustment to the horizontal by movement to the center of a glass tube...
It'd make cents off so many levels.
/edit:rephrased punchline
I can only imagine the frustration behind the making of modern Looney Tunes shows.
There has to be a lot of Bugs in the programs they use.
I'm so proud of my son, for bringing bread and a jar of peanut butter to the truck show.
After all, this is MONSTER JAM!
If I’m being subjective, the greatest sci-fi show of all time is Dr. Who.
If I’m being objective, it is Dr. Whom.
The mayor of Cowville hosted a citywide celebration of their milk. At the opening ceremony the mayor stood proudly above a pool of milk to show the exceptional quality. Unfortunately as he left the stage he fell into the pool of milk. The townsmen quickly rescued him and asked if he was okay:
"Yes", he said, "I'm all-white".
I like to keep a photo of the Sun on my phone. When people ask me if I have any kids, I start telling 'em about my son and how bright he is. I then pull out the phone to show them the photo.
[Picture] Im selling a microwave on facebook and asked my dad to send me pictures of the inside of it to show a buyer.
I wasn't disappointed
https://imgur.com/gallery/gCDyE8C
It took a lot of balls for my friend to go on the Reality TV show called “Embarrassing Bodies.”
What do you call it when a bunch of crows accidentally show up to the same place at the same time?
Plz halp, I need as many vegetable puns as possible ASAP, the epic vegetable pun battle of the century is now being waged and I am quickly running out of ammo while the enemy shows no signs of retreat
To show you the power of...
Do they call the first episode of a show the pilot to see if it will take off?
Every day, my professor starts her class by reading to us the important news of the day. Today she didn’t show up.
They cheated us and instead of played sweet victory at the halftime show they played sicko mode
We were used and tricked, it makes me sick
A recent statistical study shows that 20% of the people...
A recent study shows that the number of people who enjoy horror films has gone up by more than 30%.
That’s a frightening statistic.
Stastistics show the most common type of weed found in traffic stops is Indica
Spongebob may be the title character of the show.
There is a new reality show where flat earthers are trying to find the edge of the world.
They will be so disappointed when the finale is not a cliffhanger.
I just watched a reality show where flat earthers try to find the edge of the world.
Unfortunately the finale wasn’t a cliffhanger.
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