A list of puns related to "The Shorts"
Only a fraction of people will understand this
It’s night
He got the sack.
They're metro gnomes
He called it, "Hold Me Closer, Tony Danza"
I stand corrected
Because she had a nice pair of calves.
“I don’t know, most three year olds aren’t that tall.”
So my question was: What do you know about dwarves?
His name is 80-HD.
he was above it
Tenet of ten.
I’m neapoliTAN!
The full name is Bathew
“You’re pretty Fahrenheit.”
This is about a school janitor who murders children at the school he works at, and I’m looking for either a pun about cleaning or a pun that can somehow tie in murder/violence with cleaning in some way. Strange request, I know.
I asked the cashier if they had a take-a-penny leave-a-penny. They said "No", to which I retorted "that doesn't make any cents".
In my opinion we should beat the shit out of constipated people because:
Laxatives are an unhealthy way of dealing with feces. On the other hand, beating the shit out of someone is a good way to practice sports activities like, running, grip strength, punching techniques etc.
Other methods of dealing with feces take alot of money. Laxatives aren't cheap in our flawed healthcare system! On the other hand, there are people that are willing to pay you to beat the shit out of you. By using this method you can become richer and deal with your shitty problems.
Constipation requires being in the bathroom for a long time. This can be very lonely for the people involved. However, beating the shit out of others can be done in any place. Your home, the local park, or even the shady street corner! Not only that it's a very social activity, requiring a minimum of at least 2 people, but usually done in groups of 2-5 people.
Although some people might say, that beating the shit out of each other is violent, most of them have never been to a public toilet and hence are unable to realize how much more painful and violent the alternative is.
In summery, beating the shit out of people is a good, legitimate, and affordable alternative to laxatives and is a better, more progressive way, to deal with constipation.
Found my son holding hand with his boyfriend.
A small medium at large.
The newspaper headline read ‘Small Medium at Large’.
When he got there, a woman extended her hand.
"Good afternoon, sir," she said. "My name is Patricia Wack. How may I help you today?"
Kermit replied, "Hi-ho, Patricia! I'm Kermit the Frog, and I would like to borrow some money."
They walked over to her desk and sat down.
"Certainly, Mr. Frog--"
"Oh, just call me Kermit."
"Okay... Kermit. How much money would you like to borrow?"
"Ten thousand dollars."
Mildly surprised, Ms. Wack looked intently at Kermit.
"Do you have any references?"
"Well, I suppose I could use my father, Keith Richards."
Ms. Wack froze for a second, then...
"THE Keith Richards?"
"Oh, yes. In fact, he told me he's friends with your manager, which is why I came in here."
"Okay... Do you have any collateral?"
"Excuse me?"
"Collateral. Something of value, like a car, or a boat..."
"Oh, yes! I do have something. I have this."
Kermit reached into his briefcase and placed a small figurine on the desk. Patricia looked curiously at the object, then at our amphibious friend.
"What's this?"
"It's a Hummel."
"A what?"
"A Hummel. They're supposed to be quite valuable. Well, at least this one is to me."
She picked up the Hummel and stood up.
"If you don't mind, I would like to show this to the manager."
"Oh, no! I don't mind at all!"
So, Patricia took the Hummel to the manager's office, knocked on the door, and walked inside.
"Patricia! What can I do for you?"
"Mr. Wilson, there's this... frog named Kermit at my desk, and he wants to borrow $10,000, but he has only this for collateral."
Mr. Wilson looked at the Hummel, then out to her desk.
"I don't see anything out of order here."
"But, Mr. Wilson--"
"Look, it's a knick-knack, Patty Wack. Give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone."
A ladder.
... But now it's growing on me.
He wanted to keep things brief.
I love the pitta patter of tiny Pete
3 girls walked up to me and explained that they were scared to walk past the cemetery at night, so I agreed to let them walk along with me. I told them "I understand....I used to get freaked out too when I was alive."
Never seen anyone run so fast.
Dad: do you have any books on turtles? Librarian: hard backs? Dad: yeah with the little heads that go in and out.
It's a hard rock knife.
He let me know what it was when he replied, "grassy ass".
Attire
Is this an example of small sample size?
Short
Cause she was on mini-mum wage
You want them to think you're a keeper.
They said they didn't make it any longer
It’s a well known fact that 6/7 dwarfs aren’t Happy
"Jenny"
I shrugged, "Eh, I'll let it slide."
Well deserved. Take a Bao.
Because we always go for the low-hanging fruit.
Attire.
but the shorter answer is “no”.
Only a fraction of people will understand it.
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