I hate people who use the same word twice in a sentence...
Teacher: "Use the word sugar in a sentence."
Student: "The tea is too sweet."
Teacher: "Where is sugar in the sentence?"
Student: "In the tea!!"
Dad, I need help writing a sentence using the word "irony."
Try this :
I licked a golf club and it tasted irony.
Teacher: Use the word oath in a sentence
Student: Mike Tyson eaths oaths for breakfasth every morning
Edit: made this up today, have merthy on my thoul
Teacher: Use the word ‘intermittent’ in a sentence.
I said: While I was camping it began to rain hard so I ran intermittent.
If my toddler misbehaves I sentence him to an hour in the
A Chihuahua and a Bulldog are in a bar having a drink, when a good-looking female Collie comes up to them and says, "Whoever can say liver and cheese in a sentence can have me." So the Bulldog says, "I love liver and cheese." The Collie replies, "That's not good enough."
Finally, the Chihuahua says, "Liver alone, cheese mine."
My Dad: Can you tell me a sensible sentence that uses the word 'because', three times, consecutively?
Me: Not today, Dad.
My Dad: Give up. Let me tell you in his glorious beaming pride face
I use because, because, because is a conjunction.
Can't even what..? Finish the sentence...!!
I was asked once about the meaning of the word ' inexplicable ' in a sentence..
..and found it very hard to explain.
What do you call a writer who doesn't follow the rules of sentence structure?
I taught my four year old son how to use the word abundance in a sentence.
He said "thanks Dad, that really means a lot".
What is the shortest sentence in English?
I am.
What is the longest sentence in English?
I do.
A group of phiologists is trying to conpletely change the way sentences are structured
They call themselves "New Word Order"
A botanist tells a joke to another botanist that he finds particularly funny. The first botanist is laughing so hard he can hardly muster a sentence, but manages to say...
That joke was so funny I nearly wet my plants!
The world tongue-twister champion just got arrested. I hear they’re gonna give him a really tough sentence.
Did you know that stalin never capitalised the first letter of a new sentence or a proper noun?
It's because he disliked capitalism.
I bet my wife I could form a full sentence out of the noodles in my alphabet soup
Did you know that commas can change the meaning of a sentence.
For example
Ben is in a hurry
vs
Ben is in a comma
Did you hear about the guy who doesn’t finish sentences?
What’s the worlds longest sentence?
Teacher: "Bobby, please use the word rectum in a sentence."
Bobby: "Rectum? It dang near killed him!"
The last sentence brings me Misery
Accordion to a recent survey replacing words with the names of musical instruments in a sentence often goes undetected.
A colon can completely change the meaning of a sentence
I asked the judge to shorten my sentence and
Have you heard about the guy named Peter getting a death sentence by canon?
I can tell you he was canonized.
I violated grammar rules, so I got punished with the death sentence.
If you got anxious while diagramming sentences at the blackboard,...
TIL colons can change the meaning of a sentence drastically: "Jane ate her friend's lunch." would become:
"Jane ate her friend's colon."
What did the student say when his teacher asked him to use geometry in a sentence?
A little acorn grew and grew until it finally awoke one day and said "Gee, I'm a tree".
Johnny asked me the other if he could end a sentence with a contraction...
The only thing I responded with was, “I wouldn’t.”
I like my women like I like the end of my sentences
What’s the longest sentence in the English language?
My teacher asked me to use the word "irony" in a sentence.
So I said I was playing golf and out of curiosity I licked one of my golf clubs. It tasted irony.
The process of adding puns to a sentence should be called puntuation
My doughter just learned all about the basics of sentence structure in her English class.
Why did the sentence go see a proctologist?
It had a swollen semicolon
The use of capital letters can really change the meaning of a sentence.
For example:
I like to eat pancakes.
I like to eat capital letters.
What's the difference between a cat and a compound sentence?
One has claws at the end of its paws; the other has a pause at the end of its clause.
Teacher: Frame a sentence using the word 'harassment.'
Student: I'm in love with a girl and harassment a lot to me.
Does femail fraud carry the same sentences as mail fraud, or is it about 80% of the time sentenced?
Why did the end of one sentence not pursue a relationship with the start of the next sentence?
Because there was a language barrier.
How did the judge sentence the notorious kidney thief?
Hard labor in the renal colony.
There was a bad-tempered pirate who would always add "you" onto the end of his sentences
The shortest sentence is ‘I am.’
The longest sentence is ‘I do.’
What's the longest sentence ever?
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