A list of puns related to "The Relatives"
Aunt Arctica
Now I'm stuck with a bunch of cross-aunts
He asked what was wrong and they told him that his wife had died and that they were preparing to bury her.
The man replied: "that's grave news!"
Aunt Teak.
Ankle!
It was heir raising.
It was a hare-y situation, lemme tell ya.
His Ankle
Aunts aunts aunts aunts aunts aunts.
Flush.
Says "I regret to inform you, but we are out of time " and holds this up.
They're Eyebros.
Itβs about time.
I said, βOKβ¦..Iβll give it arrestβ
The dirtier the better
I'm a barnacle fighter
I donβt know if itβs allowed as this technically isnβt a pun itself, but my store is tv and film related and we are taking part in a trail where each store gets and names their own meerkat cut out. Soβ¦ any ideas? Weβre struggling. The best we got is Meerkatniss Everdeen ahah.
He's a fun guy
Me: No, then you wouldn't be able to see me.
Kids: [visible confusion]
Me: I'd be trans-parent.
^(Follow-up: I'm sorry to inform you that the kids perished from complications related to excessive eye rolling.)
The funeral director was asking us what we think Mum should wear in her casket.
Mum always loved to wear sarongs (fabric wraps that go around the torso and drape downward a bit like a long skirt would), so my uncle suggested that she wear a sarong in there.
The funeral director looked a bit confused, as did some of our family members, to which my uncle added:
"What's sarong with that?"
I started laughing like an idiot. He was proud of it too. The funeral director was rather shocked. We assured her, and our more proper relatives, that Mum would've absolutely loved the joke (which is very true).
His delivery was perfect. I'll never forget the risk he took. We sometimes recall the moment as a way help cushion the blows of the grieving process.
--Edit-- I appreciate the condolences. I'm doing well and the worst is behind me and my family. But thanks :)
--Edit-- Massive thanks for all the awards and kind words. And the puns! Love 'em.
When I was a kid, we lived on the outskirts of the city, relatively close to rural areas and farm lands. Every time we drove past a farm, without fail, my dad would shout as loud as he could: βHEY!β Weβd all turn our heads thinking we were in trouble then heβd just go, βoh look I was just pointing out the hay over thereβ
...are countless.
They're both Snowden. Edit: my previous post was related to the incident on i-95 but nobody got it.
...As he finished washing his hands after what was one heck of a sumptuous family dinner.
For some strange reason, all the relatives in the next room went to sleep.
Fellow purveyors of puns and dad jokes - I need your help! My extended family had four daughters born in 2021, and I'm trying to come up with a name to describe them collectively. Below are my best attempts so far, though I'm not loving them. Can you think of anything better - preferably not Covid related?
The Pandemic Princesses
The Lockdown Ladies
The Quarantine Queens
Einsteinβs dad: Damn son, itβs about time.
Now it's only inside jokes
It was about thyme.
Because he was asked to research.
Everyone will try to pick up where they left off.
So I looked at the garlic and said "You know how many of the other plants are embarrassed to be related to you?"
Allium
We have the obvious ones like, let's make like a tree and leaf and our group is always branching out, but we would love as many as you can come up with!
Thanks guys
It's a web-cite.
Fellow purveyors of puns and dad jokes - I need your help! My extended family had four daughters born in 2021, and I'm trying to come up with a name to describe them collectively. Below are my best attempts so far, though I'm not loving them. Can you think of anything better - preferably not Covid related?
The Pandemic Princesses
The Lockdown Ladies
The Quarantine Queens
Dad: Nice, son. It is about time.
Dad: Damn son, itβs about time!
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