Why did only one letter of the alphabet get a Christmas present?
The past, the present, and the future walked into a bar
And things got a little tense.
What is the best house warming present?
When I was digging through the wardrobe on the weekend, I managed to find a present for the kids that I wrapped in a box last year and forgot to give them. Bargain
Can't wait to see their faces when they realize they have a puppy.
What’s the best present you can gift?
A broken drum kit.
Nobody can beat that....
What is always wrapped up in the present ?
The Pasta, Present and Future [OC]
Every year Santa delivers presents to the kids....
....based on what their parents income is.
It's Christmas day. Mariah Carey is opening presents around the tree with friends and family. She opens an envelope with a gift, the deed to a piece of residential land.
With a frown, she says "I don't want a lot for Christmas".
Me: I’m not saying a word without my lawyer present, Cop: You ARE the lawyer
Me: So where’s my present?!
It is a distinct privilege to present this award to the inventor of the zero-wheeled car.
This could never have happened without his tireless effort.
Which musician gives the nicest Christmas presents?
A man entered his home and discovered that someone had stolen every single lamp present in the house.
He was absolutely delighted.
When the past, present, and future go camping they always argue.
It's intense tense in tents
What’s the best worm for wrapping presents?
A man walks into an empty bar, with just the bartender present
He sits down and orders a beer
Then hears a soft voice say "That's a really good color on you"
The man looks around and doesn't see anyone, shrugs, and sips his beer.
Shortly there after he hears another study voice whisper "That's a really nice tie"
Looking at the bartender the man says "Do you hear those voices? Because no one else is here except you and me!"
The bartender says "Oh yeah.. Sorry about that.. Its the peanuts, they are complimentary"
What's the best Christmas present money can buy?
A broken drum.
You just can't beat it.
How did the Grinch know to average all of the presents he stole, so that each Who in Whoville got the same amount returned to them?
He’s a mean one, Mr. Grinch.
Wait, looks like the Christmas presents are singing...
Oh, they're covered in rapping paper.
Christmas is the present holiday.
My son was surprised when the present I got my wife for Christmas wasn't an instrument
...I told him I was giving her an upright organ
What do you call the terms and conditions on a Christmas present
What is the best Christmas present in the world?
A broken drum, you just can’t beat it!
The past, present, and future walked into a bar...
The future, the present and the past walked into a bar,
Things got a little tense.
What’s the absolute best Christmas present?
A broken drum — you can’t beat it!
The past, present and future walk into a room.
The future, the present and the past walked into a bar
Things got a little tense
Why was E the only letter in the alphabet to get a Christmas present?
Because the rest of the letters were not-E.
The past,The present and The future entered a bar
A man in an interrogation room says, “I’m not saying a word without my lawyer present!" The cop growls, "You ARE the lawyer!"
The lawyer shrieks, "Exactly! So where’s my present?!"
The past, present and future walk into a bar
The past, present and future walk into a bar
A man in an interrogation room says, “I’m not saying a word without my lawyer present!" The cop growls, "You ARE the lawyer!"
The lawyer shrieks, "Exactly! So where’s my present?!"
The past, present and future walk into the bar,
The past, present and future walk in to a bar..
What does the past present and future have in common?
What’s the best birthday present to receive?
A broken drum. You just can’t beat it.
The Past, Present, and Future walked into a bar.
What’s the best Christmas present you could possibly get?
A broken drum... you can’t beat it
What’s the best Christmas present you could possibly get?
A broken drum... you can’t beat it
The past, present, and future went camping...
The past, present, and future walk into a bar.
What’s the best Christmas present you could possibly get?
A broken drum... you can’t beat it
The past, present and future walk into a bar.
Why is a broken drum the best Christmas present ever?
Why was E the only letter in the alphabet to get a Christmas present?
Because the rest of the letters were
not-E.
What is the best Christmas present in the world?
A broken drum. You just can't beat it.
The Past, Present and Future walked into a bar
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