The Pear Tree Puns

“You idiot, this is a pine tree, there are no pears!”

“Well I brought my own pears.”

The damage was irreparable

A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. "What do you know about growing fruit trees?" he asks the bartender. "Why do you ask?" the bartender replies. "My wife just told me to grow a pear," the guy replies. "I don't know how that's going to help me kill that spider she was complaining about...."

He looks down and sees that a full-grown elephant is slowly clambering up the tree. When the elephant finally reaches the branch the squirrel asks, "Why on earth did you climb up into this pine tree?!"

The elephant then says, "I came up here to eat some pears, of course."

The squirrel, completely shocked at the elephant's ignorance, exclaims, "You elephants don't know the first thing about trees! This is a PINE tree, there are no pears here."

The elephant then explains, "Oh, I know, I brought my own."

My family was on our way to a local Mexican restaurant and we were discussing a town called Park Ridge.

"well you know they call Park Ridge the Christmas town of Illinois, right?"

"why?"

"and a Park Ridge in a pear tree!"

My dad and i picked up some charcoal and some pear wood to smoke on the BBQ with. in the car my dad suggested that we should get a partridge for dinner. i asked him why. he said "so we can smoke a partridge with a pear tree." i audibly groaned and didn't talk to him for the rest of the car ride home.