Hear about the cannibal that passed his brother in the woods?
But recently I’ve been bringing in model airplanes so I can make the hourglasses passengers and watch time fly.
Easily my favorite day of the year.
Waste of time turns out hes got two left feet.
Then, I saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow.
It was addressed, 'Dad'.
With the worst premonition, I opened the envelope and read the letter, with trembling hands:
"Dear, Dad.
It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you.
I had to elope with my new girlfriend, because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and you.
I've been finding real passion with Stacy.
She is so nice, but I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercing's, tattoos, her tight motorcycle clothes and because she is so much older than I am.
But it's not only the passion, Dad.
She's pregnant.
Stacy said that we will be very happy.
She owns a trailer in the woods, and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter.
We share a dream of having many more children.
Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone.
We'll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with the other people in the commune for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want.
In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so that Stacy can get better.
She sure deserves it!
Don't worry Dad, I'm 15, and I know how to take care of myself.
Someday, I'm sure we'll be back to visit so you can get to know your many grandchildren.
Love, your son, Joshua.
P.S. Dad, none of the above is true.
I'm over at Jason's house.
I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the school report that's on the kitchen table.
Call when it is safe for me to come home!"
Whe asked about why, he said it seemed like the right occasion for sharing old memories.
...when he asked me where I kept all my dad jokes, I told him that they were stored in my dadabase.…
Don't look, I'm changing.
I was describing to my family a weed I'd found in the garden, which had a "strong herbal smell." My daughter (3), who loves to joke about words, grinned and said, "Turtle smell?"
My mother, to engage with her, said, "How does a turtle smell?"
My father and I answered in perfect unison: "With its nose!"
It felt like a significant moment in my growth as a dad.
May he rest in peace-a peace-a.
... his grave is 3 down and 7 across!
Everything is so "lit" these days
My dad glances over and says "Be respectful, we're passing by a holey place."
GF: "Minnie's buried there."
me: "Minnie who?"
GF: "Minnie people."
Hey look, those two strangers met by accident.
The guy was just coming out of the garage (which has three doors) And says, "No it's a three door".
Dad: "Ah man, this place gives me the crepes."
Lulu and Javier's last name is Diaz
Dad: Act 1- Lulu goes across the stage in a plane
Act 2- Javier goes across the stage in a plane
Act 3- Lulu and Javier both go across the stage in a plane.
What is the name of the play?
Me: I don't know, what?
Dad: "Los DIAZ Van Pasando" (which translates to "The Days Go Passing By")
Makes more sense in Spanish...
