My kids came out of school and told my partner they have made cards for her for Mother's Day. I asked for a card, but they said I had to wait until Father's Day. I told my boy I had made a card for him, and he could have it the day after tomorrow,
π︎ 5
π
︎ Mar 12 2021
(On The Spot Joke) My Partner was in bed cracking her back and asked.....
βHey can you hear my back crackβ
I replied βyea can you hear my ass crackβ then proceeded with the filthiest fart known to man
Absolute crack up. Hahahahahah even she laughed
π︎ 7
π
︎ Mar 07 2021
Why do sea medusas make the worst romantic partners?
'cause they're always jelly!
π︎ 3
π
︎ Mar 08 2021
I ordered a Hit Man to take care of my business partner the other day.
After a change of heart I cancelled the order, but it was too late.
He'd been despatched.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Jan 03 2021
A mime is the perfect partner in crime
π︎ 13
π
︎ Jan 22 2021
Why was the bean upset with his partner's gift to him?
π︎ 4
π
︎ Jan 16 2021
Did you hear about the scientist who was lab partners with a pot of boiling water?
He had a very esteemed colleague.
π︎ 9
π
︎ Dec 01 2020
What do you call the Mandalorian's partner?
Co-Mando.
(Credit to my girlfriend)
π︎ 7k
π
︎ Dec 14 2019
What did the kidnapper say to his partner?
π︎ 2
π
︎ Dec 02 2020
I had a crush on my science lab partner, then she left the school
I lost My Chemical Romance
π︎ 116
π
︎ Mar 18 2020
I met my partner after we both reached for the same rifle scope.
You know what they say, love at first sight.
π︎ 8
π
︎ Jun 06 2020
You know why you should be my partner in the marijuana businesses?
Because you know I wonβt smoke up all the profits.
Recreational marijuana was just legalized here in the state of Michigan, so my dad just had to make a joke. π
π︎ 5
π
︎ Dec 01 2019
The sweetest thing you can do for your partner is lose a tennis match to them by not scoring a single point.
π︎ 23
π
︎ Sep 29 2019
My partner makes me speak a certain phrase before I can look her in the eye.
She calls it her wife eye password.
π︎ 126
π
︎ Sep 07 2018
My partner overspiced the pasta
I should've seen it cumin
π︎ 7
π
︎ Sep 09 2019
If I tie my golf partner on the back nine...
...what is the best kind of rope to use?
π︎ 3
π
︎ Sep 03 2019
My partner couldnβt believe there wasnβt any toilet paper left in the bathroom.
I explained that Iβve been having a pretty shitty week.
π︎ 10
π
︎ Jul 03 2019
I walked into the biology lab, and saw my lab partner dissecting an insect.
I said, βI think your fly is open.β
π︎ 40
π
︎ Apr 15 2019
The secret to making your partner go "mmmmmmm" all night long is
π︎ 8
π
︎ Jun 18 2019
My dog started dog school this week. My dad asked my sister if our dog was going to have a βlabβ partner. Which she does the other dog who is her partner is a black lab!
π︎ 3
π
︎ Jul 08 2019
What did the French Trademarker say to his partner?
π︎ 9
π
︎ Apr 03 2019
Why did the spider break up with her partner?
She found a string that wasn't hers.
π︎ 7
π
︎ Apr 05 2019
Everyone should try tying their partner up at some point in the relationship.
It's a great bonding experience!
π︎ 10
π
︎ Mar 06 2019
A doctor, who was just newly a dad, decided to give a medical school lecture on the human reproductive system and what he learned throughout his partner's pregnancy. When a student asked what the correct pronunciation of ovaries is, he shrugged and said:
π︎ 2
π
︎ Mar 17 2019
Why do people in the restaurant business make the best shopping partners?
Cause most of them are pretty good waiters
π︎ 2
π
︎ Dec 31 2017
Dropped one on my lifting partner at the gym
(Me, waiting for our other partner)
Friend: What are you doing?
Me: Weighting
π︎ 5
π
︎ May 13 2017
Why did the sow leave her partner?
Because he was a complete boar who always took her for grunted.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Feb 15 2017
Was at the doctor while my partner was getting an evaluation before hand surgery.
Doctor, to my partner about her injury: Do you have any other fingers?
Me: Well, she's got nine others, but it's only the one that's bothering her.
π︎ 6
π
︎ May 24 2016
During a round of golf, my playing partner's pitch lands on the green next to mine
" Great, now we can be putt buddies!"
π︎ 2
π
︎ May 25 2014
Did you hear about the scientist who was lab partners with a pot of boiling water?
He had a very esteemed colleague.
π︎ 9
π
︎ Nov 09 2019
Did you hear about the scientist who was lab partners with a pot of boiling water?
He had a very esteemed colleague.
π︎ 12
π
︎ Oct 30 2019
Did you hear about the scientist who was lab partners with a pot of boiling water?
He had a very esteemed colleague.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Nov 18 2019
Did you hear about the scientist who was lab partners with a pot of boiling water?
He had a very esteemed colleague.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Nov 02 2019
Did you hear about the scientist who was lab partners with a pot of boiling water?
He had a very esteamed colleague.
π︎ 14
π
︎ Aug 13 2016
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.
