If I have $120 in one pocket, and $180 in the other pocket what do I have?
Two fish in a tank, one says to the other.....
How do you drive this thing ?
What did one butt cheek say to the other butt cheek?
Together we can stop this crap!
I went to the zoo the other day. There was only one dog in it
What happened when one silencer gave the other bad news?
What did one Dorito farmer say to the other?
Two horses in a field, one says to the other “I’m so hungry, I could eat a horse’
What did one lawyer say to the other laywer?
One bodybuilder to the other...
What did one hat say to the other on the hiking trip?
I'll wait here, you go on ahead
What did one banana say to the other banana?
Nothing. Bananas don't talk!
(Freshly minted from an eight year old)
The two men stared intensely at each other over the chessboard, neither one making a move. Suddenly, one of the men gasped in horror and shouted, "How is this possible? You must be taught by the Soviets!"
The other smirked and replied, "Czech, mate."
What did one chef say to the other chef while making chicken pot pie?
“I think we’re running out of thyme for this pie”
What did one salmon say to the other salmon after it ran into a concrete wall?
So two wind turbines are standing in a field when one asks the other ‘what kind of music do you like?’
The second replies ‘I’m a big metal fan’
Courtesy of my 10 year old!
Two Deer walk out of a gay bar. One of them turns to the other and says
“I can’t believe I blew 40 bucks in there”
What did one eye say to the other?
"Between you and me, something smells."
What did one tectonic plate say to the other when they bumped into each other?
What did one Potato Head ask the other Potato Head what was for dinner tonight
One said, “your lookin at it!!” 💀
Why did the one FBI agent say to the other?
>!This post has been removed for security reasons!<
I have 2 fish named “one” and the other “two”
That way when “one” dies i will still have “two”
Two giant windmills are out on a hilltop. One turns to the other and asks, "what kind of music do you like? "
The other one says, "I'm a really big metal fan."
There were two muffins in an oven, and one says to the other “is it just me, or is it getting hot in here?” Then the second one says-
“AAAH! TALKING MUFFIN!!!”
What did one mushroom say to the other...
You seem like a really fungi
The cops arrested 2 kids at the park. One was eating battery acid, the other was eating fireworks
They charged one and let off the other!
What did one wall say to the other?
What did one potato say to the other in the oven?
I know it’s getting heated but we can hash it out.
What did one acrobat say to the other before their performance?
"Catch you on the flip side."
What did one horse say to the other after playing FIFA?
I went to the park the other day and saw a guy flying one of those tiny RC quadcopters.
I asked him about it and that was a mistake.
He just kept droning on and on!
What did one fish say to the other fish?
How should I know? I dont speak fish
Came up with this one while writing an Undertale fanfic. What did one flower say to the other?
"You better stop your dandelion, or you'll be the baneberry of my existence!"
What did one saggy boob say to the other?
“We gotta start getting some support around here or people are gonna think we’re nuts”
Two brokers met on the sidewalk. "How's it going?" Said the one. "I'm fine," replied the other. "Well, gotta run," said the one. "Okay," said the other, "I'll see ya later." "All right. Bye."
2 muffins baking in an oven. One turns to the other and says "Gosh, it's hot in here". The other replies;
"AAAAHH! TALKING MUFFIN!"
What did one ocean say to the other?
They didn’t say anything; they just waved.
What did one kid joke say to the other?
My dad joke is better than yours
Two thistles are arguing over who has the better yard The one turns to the other and says "your dirt is way too loose, man, look" and yanks him up and out of the ground Second thistle looks up at the first and goes
"I artichoke you for that"
2 snowmen out in a field, one turns to the other and says...
Recently, I've been driving my wife crazy with how many friends named Fred I've been making, and they all look the same, no less. That said, one day a man rang our bell, and my wife, relieved that he did not look like my other friends, asked who he was, to which a replied:
"Don't worry, Honey, he's just another Fred of mine."
One hat says to the other,
"You wait here, I’ll go on a head."
Two wind turbines are standing in a wind farm..one turns to the other and says “what’s your favorite kind of music?”
He replied “I’m a big metal fan!”
What did one butt cheek say to the other one?
"If we keep it together, we can stop this shit!"
What did one eye say to the other eye?
Between you and me, something smells.
The police arrested to kids yesterday, one was eating fireworks, and the other was drinking battery acid
They charged one, and let the other off
these two wind turbines were standing in the field talking. one says to the other, "what kind of music do you like?" the reply...
What did one eye say to the other eye?
"I think there's something in between us that smells"
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.
