A man in a drug trial died from a complication which dissolved his pneumogastric nerve, the coroner listed the cause of death as...

"in vivo lost vagus"

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2020
🚨︎ report
I can't believe somebody had the nerve to break into my house and steal my limbo stick.

I mean seriously, how low can you go?

πŸ‘︎ 31
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06 2020
🚨︎ report
The nerves of this guy!
πŸ‘︎ 257
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sriawsome
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2017
🚨︎ report
Someone had the nerve to laugh at my enormous hands

I killed him with my bear hands.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/moosenordic
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2018
🚨︎ report
Gandhi walked the desert with no shoes, no food, and no tooth brush, my friend had the nerve to say.

I guess he was a super-calloused-fragile-mystic-fraught-with-halitosis.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SvmaHaus
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2018
🚨︎ report
Can someone connect mental health and dentistry in a pun?

I hope this appropriate to ask here. I am going to create a mental health support group on Facebook for Australian/New Zealand dental students and am needing a catchy/punny name. Currently there exists two mental health support groups that I know of on Facebook, both for dentists and not students. One is called Mental Dental and the other is called The Mental Block (alluding to the mental nerve in dentistry), so obviously I can't use those.

I'm not great with word games/etc so really appreciate any help. Thank you!

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Fallhaven
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2020
🚨︎ report
A daughter asked her father, "Why are they called shoes?"

The father said it was a very old story about two inventors named Johnson and Hues. One day Hues was working feverishly on his latest project and talking to himself out loud. Unfortunately for Johnson, his project was not going well and Hues' constant chatter was getting on his last nerve. Suddenly, Hues lept from his chair in excitement and said "I finally did it!" "I finally invented a protective layer of apparel to be worn on the feet!" Johnson was a timid man that never attempted to stifle Hues' talking, but he was about to snap. At last, Hues cried out one last time to himself "...but what shall I call them?", to which Johnson finally retorted, "SSSSHHHH, Hues!"

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Arkangel_Ash
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you know mythological creatures have their own dentist's office?

It's true, I saw it today and they were suuuuuuper busy! The waiting room was packed, and every time the orderly would come out to call in another patient, the half-man-half-horse would get all excited; "is it my turn now? oh, pick me, pick me!" and all that jazz. Of course, every time it was actually someone else's turn; the Kraken, or the Minotaur, or the Chupacabra. Eventually it seemed to get on the Satyr's nerves, because he yelled over "pipe down, Mike, we're all sick of you needing to be the Centaur of attention!"

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mrbadxampl
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03 2020
🚨︎ report
I broke up with my dentist girlfriend

She always tried to get to the root of my problems and ended up striking a nerve every time.

πŸ‘︎ 34
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2019
🚨︎ report
Man with a wooden eye

There was a man, who in high-school, had a wooden eye. He was quite self conscious about it, so when it came time for the school dance, he didn't have the nerve to ask a girl to dance. He would go up to a girl and she would turn away instantly. He was very discouraged, until he saw across the room a girl, alone with a peg leg. He thought "perfect! she might want to dance with me!" and walked over. When he asked her to dance, she looked up grinning and said "Would i? Would I?!" offended, he looked back and said. "Peg leg! peg leg!"

πŸ‘︎ 88
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CedarDragon
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2016
🚨︎ report
A lady asked me what I was carrying out of autopsy.

The nerve of some people.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HumanAsFarAsIKnow
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2019
🚨︎ report
I told my friend that I follow r/dadjokes too

And he had the nerve to respond with β€œwell why don’t you follow the first one?”

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Goofball541
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2018
🚨︎ report
My wife refused to be my date for Valentine's Day

She said we "barely make a good pear". The nerve!

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2018
🚨︎ report
A man was dining alone in a fancy restaurant

... and there was a gorgeous redhead sitting at the next table. He had been checking her out since he sat down, but lacked the nerve to talk with her.

Suddenly she sneezed, and her glass eye came flying out of its socket towards the man. He reflexively reached out, grabbed it out of the air, and handed it back.

'Oh my, I am so sorry,' the woman said, as she popped her eye back in place. 'Let me buy your dinner to make it up to you.'

They enjoyed a wonderful dinner together, and afterwards they went to the theater followed by drinks. They talked, they laughed, she shared her deepest dreams and he shared his. She listened to him with interest.

After paying for everything, she asked him if he would like to come to her place for a nightcap and stay for breakfast. They had a wonderful, wonderful time.

The next morning, she cooked a gourmet meal with all the trimmings. The guy was amazed. Everything had been so incredible!

'You know,' he said, 'you are the perfect woman. Are you this nice to every guy you meet?'

'No,' she replies. 'You just happened to catch my eye.'

πŸ‘︎ 223
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cuzziewuzzie
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2015
🚨︎ report
Neuroanatomy professor dad jokes the class

He was lecturing on the cranial nerves, which do pretty much everything for the head. They control all 5 senses and motor output as well as some other non relevant stuff.

Professor: So class does everyone remember what the senses are?

Class: touch/pain, sight, hearing/equilibrium, smell, taste.

Professor: Does anyone know what the sixth sense is?

Class: (thinking hes serious) Guess random shit like magnetoreception.

Professor: The sixth sense is the ability to see dead people.

Class: combination of groans and laughter

πŸ‘︎ 90
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/braaaaiins
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2014
🚨︎ report
My girlfriend might be alright

So this just happened after I got my girlfriend some water at McDonalds because she was thirsty.

GF: "oww!" Me: "What's wrong?" GF: "I have a cut in my mouth and the cold water hurts when it gets in it" Me: "Oh I'm sorry" GF: "its really getting on my nerves" Me: .................

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JSlicky
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2015
🚨︎ report
So my dad and I were driving really early in the morning...

At around 6:00 yesterday morning my dad was driving me to a thing I had, on our way a deer ran nerve-rackingly close to the car, my dad just said, "oh dear." And for the next few minutes had a little grin on his face.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SOPA_NO
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2014
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.