The next day the newspaper read "Arti chokes two for $5 at the supermarket"
They're seasoned veterans
Personally, I’m tired of the hullabaloo.
May-B ....
"Don't worry, Honey, he's just another Fred of mine."
Boy-ant-C!
He identified as poly-Esther
Revenge of the Smith
She told me to collagen.
"Its going to rain soon" he said to his wife. "How could you possibly know that?" She asked. He simply replied, "Because Rudolph The Red knows rain, dear."
Then you’re Patrick
His name was Sir Anthony Key
He came of age among this suffering and at 21 was finally able to legally change his name. He arrived at the government office where he presented himself:
-I'm James Fart and I want to legally change my name!
Of course they laughed at him (everybody did) but eventually they all settled and came around to the situation.
-Ok, so... your current name is.. ·chuckles· James Fart... I'm sorry, I just...
-I know, everybody has been laughing at my name since as long as I can remember.
After a long and tedious process, everything is ready.
-Very well, sorry for the delays but you know how hard this protocols are. The good news: you are no longer "James Fart", what name do you want instead?
-Charles Fart.
So Patel tried to go to the lowest level and put a dot on the paper.
"What this, Ed?"
"A line?" the boy replied.
"I... I expected more from you. I'm... This a point, Ed."
He kept on Biden me
Hummus a tune.
He scored a home run every single at bat, and always the exact same way. Way over right field, too high for anyone to reach, and it always landed in exactly the 17th row of the stands, give or take a couple feet.
He earned the nickname “the machine” for how consistently he hit the exact same spot every time. Right field, 17th row, every single time. He did this for 20 years before he retired. Tickets to the 2-3 seats that the ball always landed on sold for over $2k a pop by the time he retired because you were guaranteed at least a couple home run balls.
And the day he retired a reporter asked him “How does it feel to be retiring as the greatest hitter of all time?”
Hugh just looked at the reporter puzzled. “What do you mean?” He said.
The reporter clarified “literally over 5,000 times you went to the plate and hit a home run to right field, 17th row of the stands!”
Hugh looked dejected and disappointed “yeah, my greatest failure...”
“What do you mean?” Said the reporter incredulously.
Hugh let’s out a long sigh, and looked down at the ground quietly for a moment before finally speaking.
“I’ve been aiming left this whole time”
Turkey says "blulululu awesome, bring me a Kevin!"
She should be named Nautical!
He has trouble introducing himself in France.
"Honey, I got you a bouquet."
Now, every time I plug it into my computer it says: “The Titanic is syncing”
She said she preferred 2 fun-guy over one fun-Gus.
Doctor: Stephen with a "ph"?
Nurse: Yes, a low one.
They're both red giants, and way bigger than my son(sun).
"because where there's a Will there's a weigh."
Because Une-Deux-Troi quatre cinq.
Chrysanthemums.
I said " oh yeah, you forgot the Theasaurus "
When she asked why I responded “you’ll get salmon-Ella!”
Now they’re both Doug-less
I’m not joking, but he is.
I named the second one Repeat.
People love eating Asparagus.
Bad minton.
Due to lack of real estate options in their city, they all set up shop next door to each other. In order to convince customers to come to their store rather than one of the other Jacksons, they all put up signs to attract customers.
The one on the left puts up a sign that says "Jackson's clothing store (Best prices!)"
Not to be outdone, the one on the right puts up a sign that says "Jackson's clothing store (Best quality!)
The one in the middle thinks about it for a while, and eventually puts up a sign of his own.
"Jackson's clothing store (Main entrance).”
I responded with “No, not Eni.”
I said "I thought you were Lance, I apologize sinceyourelee".
For instance, Kang the Conqueror is a fictional supervillain appearing in American comic books published by Marvel Comics. In 2009, Kang was ranked as IGN's 65th Greatest Comic Book Villain of All Time
or
In the Simpsons , Kang is a Rigellian from Rigel 7. He and his sister Kodos continuously try to take over Earth and are usually seen attacking Springfield. Kang and Kodos have a lot of space weaponry at hand and have their own spaceship. They speak the Rigellian language, which, by coincidence, is identical to English. Although they look identical, Kang has a deeper voice than Kodos.
I guess you could say Skippy is a Kang Guru...
I'm glad I still have two.
One night a viking named Rudolph the Red was looking out the window when he said, “It’s going to rain.” His wife asked, “How do you know?” He said, “Because Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear.”
“It looks like it’s going to rain” his wife said how do you know?
He replied “Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear....
Because Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear
(Yes, I stole this from another sub:))
