Why did the musician call the locksmith?

She had the wrong key.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/croakersbro
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2021
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Did you hear about the locksmith convention coming to town?

I hear they've got the keynote speaker locked up.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/habsfan1112
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2020
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I needed to get my locks changed, but all the locksmiths were closed... I thought they were key workers?
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πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2020
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Call the locksmith or chef Boyardee
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πŸ‘€︎ u/fawaffle
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2019
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Locksmiths are still working during the quarantine

Because they're key workers

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SendMeYourNuudes
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2020
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Did you hear about the guy at the locksmith convention who got onstage and talked about music?

He was the Key Note speaker!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/flylink63
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04 2020
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How did the locksmith feel about his job?

He adored it!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/WLThrasher
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2019
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Why did the locksmith have a side job as a piano instructor?

He always knows the right key

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πŸ‘€︎ u/IHaveSacks
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2019
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What is the favorite dance move of locksmiths?

Pop & Lock.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Wohf
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2018
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What's the name of a locksmith with a lisp?

Keith

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2018
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There was once a priest who went to see the world after taking his oath....

After many years of wandering, he finally arrived in a small village in the middle of nowhere. The people there believed in the same religion as he did, but they had no church; they had to go to the nearest one which was in a small town 25 km's from there. The priest took the initiative, asked the Church for support, and with the help of the local men they built their own temple. From there on, he was celebrating the Sunday masses, joining together men and women in Holy Matrimony, and saying prayers at the funerals.

Many years passed by like that.

At the end of an ordinary mass, in early spring, on a chilly Sunday morning he was just guiding the people out of the church, was about to close the gates when an unknown man stepped into the churchyard.

With his dirty and torn clothes, he stood before the priest and said:

  • Priest, please be good and give me half a lemon! - the priest was a good man, and even though he thought the request was a bit strange, he went back to the rectory, took out a lemon, cut it in half, took it back to the man and gave it to him, who looked back to the priest with gratitude. However, the priest was curious. He asked:

  • Son, why do you need this half of a lemon? - with a fright on his face, and before the priest could have said a thing, he rushed out of the churchyard gate and took off.

A week later, around the same time, when the priest was leaving the church, he found himself in front of the same man in the churchyard. The man said:

  • Priest, please be good and give me half a lemon! - the priest was surprised by the appearance of the man and his strange request. Of course he was good, went back to the rectory, and brought the half lemon. Placed it in the stranger’s hand and immediately he asked:

  • Here it is, my dear son, but please tell me why do you need this half a lemon? - the man was obviously frightened and immediately ran away but the priest was not sluggish either and ran after him. He wasn’t in a very good condition, he has never run so much and so fast before so he was out of breath by the end of the village, almost fainted. He thought the strange man might appear again next week, and it would be nice if he could keep up with him, so he spent his week working on his cardio. It turned out to be a good idea, because as he thought, the stranger entered the churchyard on Sunday. The priest didn’t even wait for the request, he was good, and brought the half lemon. He received these words from the man:

  • Thank you

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Doty152
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2018
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When Dad helps you Move

A week ago I just purchased a condo. After closing my parents met me at the empty condo, and we had lunch. While waiting for the locksmith to rekey the locks, we moved in a patio loveseat and 1 camping chair, and put them temporarily in the main room for us to sit. Everything else would be moved in the next day.

Locksmith comes, and while he is working on the back door we sit down. My dad turns to me and says "You've got enough money to pay the locksmith." The locksmith pauses and looks at me as I say "Yes". Dad then says:

"I'm proud of you for being able to get this place. And don't worry, I'm sure one day you'll be able to afford furniture."

The locksmith looks uncomfortable and moves to a different door. My dad then just starts laughing uncontrollably. I just stare at him in shock, it was so well delivered. And hey! The locksmith gave me a discount as he felt sorry for me.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jadeoracle
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2014
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I needed to get my locks changed, but all the local locksmiths were closed...

I thought they were key workers?

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πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2020
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