Did you hear about the party held for devices used to weigh tractor trailers' loads?

It was a large scale celebration.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2021
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A man came home from the pet shop with loads of geese.

He only went for a gander

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πŸ‘€︎ u/maccer20
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2021
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I found a load of batteries washed up on the beach.

I was collecting C Cells on the sea shore.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2020
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A truck ahead of me spilled its load of cabbage all over the highway...

I never slaw it coming.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/andersonfmly
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2020
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My family was doing the dinner dishes together and our mum was washing the dishes in the sink. She asked β€œcould you guys load the dishwasher please?”

So my dad brought her a glass of wine.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mossata
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2020
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I Just opened a card and a load of rice fell out the envelope

It’s was from my uncle Ben

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JoelandLouise
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2020
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Coach Butt pushed his team The Doodies into the Toilet Bowl. But, his team was playing like crap after a heavy load. And even though Coach knew his #1 was flushed, he pointed at him and said...

Urine.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Buschman98
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2020
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What do you call the burnout experienced 3/4’s of the way through hand-washing a particularly large load of dishes?

Post-Traumatic Stress Dishorder.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Colorblindbass
πŸ“…︎ May 23 2020
🚨︎ report
BREAKING NEWS The M6 has become blocked after a truck shed its load of brightly coloured writing paper and envelopes...

Police say the traffic is pretty stationery.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AustralianGroan
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2020
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On what side of the cargo ship do they load all the USB charging cables?

The Port side.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GotMyOrangeCrush
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2020
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I went to what I thought was a christening but halfway through the vicar tipped a load of pish tasting lager over the poor baby.

Turns out he was being fostered.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ElMel77
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2020
🚨︎ report
I used to make loads of bad jokes back in the day

Once a pun a time

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GaryTheKnight
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2019
🚨︎ report
A truck driver with a live load of penguins in the back crashes and injures himself

A bystander helps him and calls the ambulance for him, The transport driver tells the man to take the penguins to the zoo then man says okay. Later when the truck driver was released from the hospital he sees the man walking out of the movie theatre with a line of penguins behind him, he asked what the hell hes doing and the man said, well you told me to take them to the zoo, i did, then i took them to the mall and now the movies.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/max69well
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2019
🚨︎ report
My daughter tried doing her first load of laundry by herself. All the colors bled and intermixed.

"Well," she said. "It did say on the clothing labels to wash in, like, colors."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2019
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What do you call a film about loads of del boys taking over the world?

Day of the triffics

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πŸ‘€︎ u/maccer20
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2019
🚨︎ report
A delivery boy was carrying a heavy load to the prosthetics factory..

.. an employee offered to lend him a hand

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πŸ‘€︎ u/waddupmanitsjohn
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2019
🚨︎ report
I managed to break even at Vegas this weekend. I lost a load of money on the blackjack table.

But then won it all back on the ATM machine.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/monkeyupbirch
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2018
🚨︎ report
So a full long truck load was stolen from outside the cookie factory yesterday...

If it was the Italian job, they'd bi-skittering half over the drink right now.

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2018
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A lorry carrying 25 tons of Vicks Vapour Rub has overturned on the M6, near Birmingham, spilling it's load onto the carriage way.

The Police have said, there will be no congestion for at least 12hrs.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mykeuk
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2017
🚨︎ report
What does the Loan Ranger say when he is taking a load of trash to the landfill?

To-the-dump, to-the-dump, to-the-dump-dump-dump...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/graeber715
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2016
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My son and I were driving down the road when we saw a truck hauling a huge load of Goodyears. I said "I feel sorry for that guy"...

My son said: "why?"

Because he looks extremely "tired".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BrewerGeo
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2015
🚨︎ report
At the mall parking lot when a bus load of middle school band kids unloads

"Wow, where do you think all those kids come from?"
"Their homes."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrBadTacos
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2013
🚨︎ report
The local motorway has become blocked after a lorry shed it's load of brightly coloured writing paper and envelopes.

Police say the traffic is pretty stationery...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cotswoldboy
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2019
🚨︎ report

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