Rudolph the red and his wife were on a stroll. Rudolph the red looked up at the sky and said "we should hurry up, there is a storm comming". So his wife asked "how do u know" and he replied...
"Rudolph the red knows rain dear"
So yall know how people used wooden dentures in the 19th century? I wonder if women ever tried or thought of using the same idea to increase boob size.
That would be something, now wooden tit?
Darth Vader and Luke Skywalker are locked in battle, and Vader says to Luke, "I know what you're getting for Christmas." Luke says, "No, that's impossible, how could that be?" Vader leans in closer, their lightsabers crackling under the pressure, and he replies...
Don’t know how to properly share with this but I have included the name of the original, most people didn’t get it(third line)
Do u know how the roman empire was cut in half?-------How?-------With a pair of Caesars!!!!
I know how to lighten the mood!
You know how they throw the ball into the crowd after they win the game?
Apparently, that's not allowed in bowling. I know that now.
Spider-Man has many incredible powers, including the ability to know how many spiders there are around the world.
He uses his Spider Census.
How do you know which star is the Christmas star?
How do we know that the earth isn't flat?
If it was, cats would have knocked everything off the edge already.
How Did Louis Pasteur Know You Can Get Sick From Germs in the Mississippi?
He was a scholar of bayou chemistry.
How did the archaeologist know that Cleopatra wasn't feeling well?
How do the Obama’s know when dinner is ready?
They can smell what Barack is cooking.
What’s the only kind of bagel that knows how to fly?
A friend of mine does not know how to spell the word "Christmas".
He just knows it has no L.
I go to the store and buy 2 eggs, a loaf of bread, and some milk. The cashier says “you must be single” and I respond with “how did you know?”
She responded, “ because you are ugly!”
How do we know that a tree makes a sound if it falls in the forest?
Because it will dialogue.
How do you know the difference between an alligator and a crocodile?
One you see later the other you see after a while.
Don’t know how he didn’t see the oppurtunity.
"But Holmes, how did you know the suspect had swallowed the evidence?"
"Alimentary my dear Watson"
How do we know the Joker likes soap operas?
Because some men just want to watch the world turn.
What's the only way a horse knows how to vote?
You know how only the strongest sperm gets to fertilise the egg?
I guess you could call it survival of the fetus.
How did the Norse god know when it was time to stop lifting weights?
Want to know how the founders of Canada came up with the name?
They put a bunch of letters in a hat and a guy pulled them out one by one.
The first is pulled out and the guy says “C eh?”
The second is pulled out of the hat and the guy says “N eh?”
The last letter is pulled out and the guy says “D eh?”
How do you let birds know when you've refilled the bird feeder?
How do we know that the Russians were pirates?
They captained the USS Argh!
It's not that the guy didn't know how to juggle...
he just didn't have the balls to do it!
I just asked my 14 yr old after he was talking the whole time while I was showing how to do something. ‘Do you know why god gave us two eyes and only one mouth?’
‘Because we don’t need depth perception with our mouths ‘ was his technically correct answer
How do you know that trees long to vacation at the beach?
Because they always bring their trunks.
How did the circle know the square had nothing on him?
Because he said he had him cornered.
Wife: I’m not in the mood to do my homework. Me: Just phone it in and do C-work. Wife: I don’t know how to do C-Work.
Me: step 1, buy a boat.
Just happened. Not an official dad yet but she’s 6 months pregnant. Got to get the practice in while I can.
How do you know the work week will get even crazier after Monday and Tuesday?
Because all that's left is WTF.
Do you know how to tell the difference between people from Dubai and Abu Dhabi?
People from Dubai don't like the Flintstones. The ones from Abu Dhabi do
A young boy was walking to school when he saw a dead dog in the road. When he got to school he told his teacher what he saw. “How do you know if the dog was dead?” She asked the boy. “I know because I pissed in his ear.” The teacher looked horrified. “What do you mean you pissed in his ear??”
‘I went up to him and went “Pssstt!” in his ear and he didn’t move.’
One night, a Viking called Rudolph the red was looking out of his window when he suddenly said "It's going to rain". His wife asked "how do you know?"
"Because rudolph the red knows rain, dear"
How did the Figure Skater know he was about to get in trouble?
A pirate is transported to modern day and stumbles upon a lumber mill while looking for work. When the pirate is asked if he knows how to use any of the tools...
How do you know if the meat you’re eating is donkey?
How do we know the Earth is flat?
Do You know how to tie the knot in space?
I'm floating away very quickly.
I wanted to know how to build big muscular shoulders. I tried asking a guy with big traps at the gym, but I still have no answer...
...every time I ask him, he just shrugs.
So I was singing All Star in the car the other day, and my friend asked “How do you know all the words” so I swiftly replied:
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