The Hunting Puns

It ensures I get a good bang for my Buck.

Murder in the first deergree

... and stumbled across a naked woman. She started flirting with me, so I asked her if she was game.

She replied yes, so I shot her.

Therapist: I’m glad that you are finally battling your Damons.

It’s for legal porpoises

"Doe!"

shoulder this bird, hun.

So I went home.

He wanted to get the biggest bang for his buck.

Son: Wow that stream is really rush'en.

Me: oh good that is so much better than German.

I just had to pick a country real quick not trying to make any statement....

Suddenly one of them spots tracks.

"Deer tracks" says the first hunter.

"Moose tracks, I know moose tracks when I see them" says the other hunter.

They keep arguing over the type of tracks they're looking at, until they get run over by a train.

The only thing I managed to shoot was a feral cat. Great shot though, tore the thing in half and the front half was nowhere to be seen. Filled with pride, I picked up the feline's hind quarters and thought I'd have a go at taxidermy to make a plaque for above the mantle. What a catastrophe.

A stock broker

[removed]

“More bang for your buck.”

May not be Nessie-ssary, but Beast of Loch to you!

He’d be Minnie Driver’s mini Mini Driver.

Poor guy was holding on for deer life.

Either or, I'm bambidextrous.

At the quack of dawn.

My dad and I went hunting with some friends in south texas for opening teal season. As I am putting my waders on, he tell me to remember to tie my boots as tight as I can, "or else they'll fall off in the mud, and that would suck, literally". He couldn't have been more proud of himself.

Later he holds the door as I walk out of the small convince store in the town, and I naturally say "thanks". He replies with "you bet," and I told him "really? Because I'm not much of a gambler..." And he just frowned at me.

It said “Bear Left”, so they went home.