I just finished the book, "How to Become Homeless"...

It's such a bummer.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/thomasbrakeline
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 11 2020
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I just saw a homeless man get arrested for cloaking himself in a blanket the cops falsely accused him of stealing...

It was a bum wrap.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/thomasbrakeline
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 17 2020
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Who is the patron saint of homeless dogs and cats?

St. Ray

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/big_macaroons
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 06 2020
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The homeless man didn't like his new shoes.

Doesn't he know beggars can't be shoesers?

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Dasvott
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 10 2019
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The Homeless Brothers - Sucker (Parody) youtu.be/0ollaScoXOQ
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/TheAeromarine
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 22 2019
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My dad goes to Mexican restaurants and shakes the empty chip container like a peddling homeless man and says : "Chips for the poor favor"

He does it to this day and laughs every time, my sister and mother have chosen to start ignoring that type of behavior which makes it funnier to me

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/_var_log_messages
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 14 2015
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Did you hear about the homeless man that ran for office?

He wanted change.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/whymemum
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 05 2018
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What is the spanish phrase for giving money to a homeless person?

Poor favor.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/BlueComms
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 21 2018
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TIL about Arda Djoques, a homeless woman in Baltimore who wandered into a school and pretended to be a substitute teacher for two weeks. Despite great reviews from her peers, when the school found out, she was forcefully thrown to the street.

Oops, wrong sub.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Maimonides_vii
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 25 2018
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What do you call the ghost of a homeless man?

A hoboo

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Skydude252
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 18 2019
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What's the best thing about dating a homeless woman?

You can drop her off anywhere

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/lifelonglifter
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 23 2019
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How did the ADD homeless man become poor?

He couldnโ€™t afford to pay attention

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/samrf1202
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 10 2019
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Two homeless fellas are squatting in an abandoned house down the road.

I guess it's cheaper than a gym membership.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/TommehBoi
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 29 2019
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I tend to give money to homeless people, who I find sleeping on the grass, on a winter morning.

I always give credit where it's dew.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/sodomicity
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 08 2019
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Why was the homeless man drinking coffee?

Well, he had no proper tea.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Spotted_Lady
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 31 2018
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I was walking past a homeless man when he yelled, "Stephen King is my older brother and he stole the ideas for all his novels from me!"

I replied, "Surely you must be Joe."

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/madazzahatter
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 18 2018
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What did the homeless woman name her newly born son?

Nickel-less

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/cmatti2012
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 05 2018
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Whatโ€™s the difference between a man in a tuxedo on a bike and a homeless man on a unicycle?

Attire

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/alexbeltran43
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 19 2018
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I learned to empathize with the homeless by singing Mark Knopfler's ballads

They made me feel like I was in dire straits.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Crazy-Cat-Gentleman
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 02 2018
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What did the homeless dog say?

No roof

^^^^^^I ^^^^^^disgust ^^^^^^myself

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Goman101
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 27 2015
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I saw a homeless beaver begging on the sidewalk.

I didn't give a dam.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/_otterinabox
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 25 2015
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I only get turned on by the homeless and vagrants these days....

.....I worried that I might be hobosexual.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/ultra-saurus
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 27 2015
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The homeless got to eat.

My little sister is stroking the dog (huge bull-mastiff) and comments on how warm he is. "I wouldn't mind being homeless if I had Buster" she says.

To which my dad replies "yeah, you wouldn't go hungry for weeks."

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Catshit_smoothie
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 18 2016
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As we pass a homeless man holding out a cup on the sidewalk.

Dad: Oh look, that nice man's handing out change for us.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Sideroller
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 28 2013
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Did you hear about the homeless man that recently became passionate about politics and ran for office?

He wanted change

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/aparks1437
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 08 2018
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What's the difference between a homeless man on a unicycle and a businessman on a bicycle?

Attire

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/sacredsnail
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 07 2015
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